Freezes, caused pause. Opportunities brought a new line of sight. I love growth and I hate change. But, I seek clarity- many things have brought me that lately.
And for this I am grateful- for everything that happens personally and professionally has shaped me. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work at a fantastic school, with wonderful educators- and for this I am truly humbled and grateful.
Even when things in our lives- family, friends who might cause us pause- we must remain grateful for how they have added to our story. We need to train ourselves to say thank you. This allows us to see that this too shall pass and clear skies will return and there amongst the storm is a rainbow. An opportunity to journey to new places and new opportunities.
To be able to recognize that the stumbles and challenges that bane us, before the smooth pavement lifts us- leads to, as Maya Angelou says, "A rainbow in the clouds." We are born from gratitude, humility and strength. We bathe in it, it is the water in which we swim. Keep swimming. There will always be sea weed and coral- murky water and turbulence but the shore is always near by.
Each day a new wave. The day we open up our eyes to greet, needs to be met with a vision of what can be, how we can achieve it and most importantly- What do I want? What do I need? And then fulfill them with gratitude based around what you have, who you know and the experiences you are offered.
Your truth is a reflection of what you hear, what you see, how you interpret your world- each a unique perspective. We need to take it in- the warmth of the sun, the bright colors of nature, the coolness of the breeze. These entities, energies, both elaborate and elegant- bind us to the real. This is something however, we often take for granted. Walking amongst the trees, feeling the wind, smelling the aroma of fauna and the exchange of spices and scents. This synergy- this is what I need, what I want.
I do not want to feel stagnate, swallowed, side-swiped. Yet these are necessary to bring about change. The value in what we do is important- we yearn for it. We receive it in unexpected ways. It is a gift to be in this world- one created in order to build relationships and shape the future with our humble presence. When a student tells you what- not why- they loved your class, your mentorship- this conversation will be revelatory. It will be life-changing. You will know you have been where you have belonged.
Truth will guide you to a place where moving on feels right. Where knowing when you enter the scene. You enter the scene when you are needed- not when you feel you have something funny to say or when the situation is exciting and you want to be a part of it- but when you are needed. The truth of you, your story is important. You are the lead. But not necessarily the one with the most lines in the scene. Being a listener is far more valuable. Hearing other peoples truths, other peoples stories- they shape our story as much as our own actions.
Asking yourself what you want is a difficult question- we often feel self-centered, narcissistic, out of touch. But we often forget to do this and wind up miserable, resentful or flooded with illness and insecurity. Mental health starts with asking the question- what do I want and how can I make sure I am showing gratitude when I am working towards my goals and needs? When we find a balance- we are healthier, we are more open-minded, we are happier. We can not always get every desire that enters our orbit- but we can find healthy ways to feel more connected, more needed, more impactful in a positive way- and this, this leads to gratitude and awareness and this leads to more joy.
Joy is not something we need to feel guilty about feeling. It is an emotion that glues all of our choices together. When we feel secure, we feel joy. When we feel connected, valued, love- we feel joy. It is an emotion that allows us to recognize our lifeline, the necessity to focus more on our needs. To leave the scene, when we are not needed. To listen and reconcile that we are not the lead in every scene. Sometimes when we feel comfortable we are not growing.
Growth comes from the stage lights going dark, the actors running off script- we need the improv as much as we need the routine. I know I do. I have felt stagnate, unnecessary for awhile so I made myself stand in the wings and watch the play. Watched from the shadows- feeling like I have been needed, that I made a difference- but also that the play is entering a new setting, one in which I am no longer needed. It has brought sadness but also clarity and clarity is always a good thing.
For this revelation I am grateful. I was reminded of my relationships and how my presence, when needed made a difference. But, I also was made aware of new adventures that will allow me to grow and see my world in a new light. Feel a new breeze, see a different landscape, hear new voices and forge brand new relationships with strangers that soon, hopefully will be friends.
This revelation dimmed the theater and switched the spotlight to the stage- where I can watch the end of the year unfold, pack and leave my home and school of eight years- and unpack in a new, yet familiar city- where I feel I am needed. This is what I want, to feel needed, to feel uncertain and a bit nervous- but with the full force of gratitude moving me forward. I will miss great people, I have been molded into who I am by these amazing relationships, and I am eager to set a new stage- listen to new stage directions and enter a scene- with the beginning of act two.
Albuquerque here I come. Change is inevitable and for this alteration of course- it is what I want and I am grateful to have the opportunity to launch.
