Waking Up and Smiling

 It's quiet. Only the air flowing through the ducts humming a calming sound. A gentle force, pinging and ponging on occasion but it is consistent with its flow. I sit in a dim classroom, my second home, or so it feels. Entering into a dark hallway in the morning, few teachers, it feels haunting some days, still, somber. That hour of transition from mom to teacher. I smile at these moments- reflecting on those positive moments that keep me coming here day after day.

There is a gap, a wedge that caused students to stumble and grasp on to the air for support. They haven't quite gotten their groove back. Even last year we had two weeks of Covid-related or weather related closures. It weighs heavy on them. Some still in Zoom mode and lacking the social skills to compensate. Some classes are full of those students who have just given up on behaving appropriately- laughing at the negative points on their roster. "I'm at 9" - "I'm only at 5" - they get ten before they are suspended or expelled.

Other students are silent- eerily quiet- hair pulled down covering their faces in an attempt to become invisible. I talk to them as much as I can. I've gotten them to work in pairs and interact with their peers. But they struggle as all students to find their flow, like the ducts in this once factory nor school veneer. These mornings that I feel positive are weening. I usually have more good than frustrating days but this term- for the first time in 21 years- more frustrating then good and its depressing. 

Luckily I do have two classes that are full of juniors and seniors- vibrant and funny. Engaged and dedicated. These lift me up. These keep me motivated to go up and beyond. So today I smile. I look forward to this next week bringing finals and closure to this term. I am hoping for a term more satisfying for my educational spirit. Every 22 days I changed students and course- it's got its positives and negatives- but today, today I smile because I got a good nights sleep and I found my flow- pings and pongs will occur- but I am open-minded and positive today.

Smiling.

Waking Up and Frowning

 Some days education just sucks. Over taxed you force yourself to go into a classroom where you feel underappreciated. Students not doing work (with little consequence) extensions given (required) and still missing assignments and failings. You try everything: incentives, engagement and class time allotted to complete. But, still those who will not engage on your most fulfilling lessons will not do assignments. They are disengaged and frustrated with life. Angsty teenagers. High school is vastly different than the middle school I am used too.

I feared they would be hypervigilant, concerned about every grade. For about half that is the case. But the other half are repeating classes and the second and third time around- still don't care.

I feel deflated after hours of prep and organization and these students still won't engage- still won't do work. I wake up with a frown some days. It takes all my strength not to switch professions. This is the first term in 21 years of teaching where I truly feel like giving up and moving on.

When you Stop to Think About Things....

There is a lot going on these days. A lot of conflict and tribalism. A lot of separation and finger pointing. It is amazing what you hear when you stop to listen. Most people are optimistic. If you sit in a restaurant you hear laughter and boisterous conversations. Most people seem jovial and just happy to be out and about. There is a certain comfort in being out and about. It feels like life is progressing. 

Most people are not wearing masks. Spending the weekend at Inn of the Mountain Gods in the forest of New Mexico - was very eye opening to me. It was loud in certain areas- mingling and upbeat conversations a buzz. There were quiet spots where people were gazing reflectively upon the lake, others where people were sitting in oversized chairs reading. It was a beautiful place to be. Boats or ziplining but also walks and horseback riding. 

I sat quietly a lot. There was a forest fire, 1 of 4 locally here- you could smell the smoke. It gave me pause. It made me think about the homes, wild life, nature succumbing to the flames. I have never seen so many deer. I counted 50 at one time- lingering about the grounds, fleeing the fire. A helicopter came to the lake throughout the day filling a basket with water and then dropping it on the fire. It was a juxtaposition of loud and quiet, clean fresh mountain air and smoky billows. Laughter and reflection.

When you stop to think about things you allow your mind to wander. Your thoughts to trickle out and like a vine wrap around other ideas and motivations. I am motivated more now to write and read. To reflect and ponder. Back in the bustle of the city and classroom life- I am allowing moments to ponder- for that is my release, my escape. Amidst the laughter of students today, I can envision the lake, the billow of natures destruction- and I am thankful for what I have.

One More Time, With Feeling

The crescendo begins, rising and building

it is close, the accumulation

adaptation, pivot and soar

content, knowledge and collaboration

unfolds and roars

the faces will change, the voices will become new

but the learning will endure

the relationships will be secure

because they were forged, like the sound of growth

in steel motivation and molten inspiration

these faces, I will miss

these voices, I will miss

and as another cohort enters- one more time

with feeling

another opportunity to inspire and allow

collisions and crescendos

and I am ready for the cymbals to clang

Why is Ordinary not Extraordinary?

Ordinary sounds less than extraordinary. Add a few extra letters- 5 in fact and the word changes. I feel ordinary most of the time. This is not to say I lack confidence or self-value. I know I am awesome. I search for ways of betterment. I love being a teacher and I am never complacent about it. I know what  do is important. But this does not bring to my mind extraordinary skills. I am good at what I do- but am I worthy of those extra 5 letters?

I do not seek them. I seek to be ordinary because most of us are- we are not less than or mere unordinary- we are us. I always say to people- "Be You"- flamboyant and energetic, calm and introverted. Be kind. Make the world a better place. Strive for mindfulness and finding joy in the little things. But do so, being you. When you are positive, friendly and open-minded you are ordinary. For most of us are. This does not devalue our experiences or existence it just puts things into perspective.

When you grow up being told you are extraordinary, that you are perfect- this creates a sense of entitlement. But when you are told you are ordinary and kind- that you make the world better because you.... then you feel not entitled but invested. You want to do the things that bring joy to others. You want to participate and grow. You want to stay ordinary and amazing. This might seem an odd way to look at the world- and it is.

I was bullied severely as a child- told I was the weirdo or nerd. The unordinary, awkward geek. I heard others being told they were extraordinary- that they had what it takes to be a GOAT. I thought that was odd. Not me, the ordinary girl from California. I did not want to stand out. But I also did not want to be considered unordinary. I liked the thought of ordinary- it put me where I needed to be- with others like me. Those who were themselves and worked hard and treated others with kindness.

These days being ordinary seems to have a connotation of less than. But the extraordinary people to me are not those who are preaching kindness- they are those frustrated and causing havoc - throwing fits on airplanes and performing acts of violence or sending out negative and mean Tweets, videos etc. These are the extraordinary- not because they are better but because they are outliers. Extra to me does not mean better, it simply means different.

So for me- I appreciate that I am ordinary. That I have amazing qualities. That I work hard to earn my keep. That I am open-minded and I accept different points of view. I am not demeaning myself by believing I am ordinary because I am in the largest group, the group of people who value kindness and growth. So here I stay an ordinary girl from California. Bettering myself and learning every day. I do not need the extra five letters- extra does not mean better. I prefer the six letters: growth. The seven letters: mindful. The eight letters: learning.

The Value of Google Classroom

I spent eight years on Canvas, a platform organized for student learning. It organized lessons, assignments, assessments. Much like Google Classroom does. The main difference is Canvas is not free- Google Classroom is available to all. The way teachers can organize and set up classes is similar- day by day or weekly, quizzes, assignments or materials -uploading is simple. BUT, if you have a Google Drive linking documents is quicker and more efficient on Google Classroom. Everything links.

The functionality makes teaching streamlined and efficient, but it is only a calendar, to do list, submission platform. The rest- the teaching, investigations, interactions, collaboration- this is all separate. I use it to have a place students go to see assignments and submit- digital versions of assignments. They can see slide shows, video clips, even hard copy notes and review material all in Google Classroom.

But, the bulk of what we do is hands on. Digits over digital I say. But if I can save paper and have them complete rather on a Google Document or Google Slide- I do that. That way they won't lose it and always have access to all assignments. But coloring, diagrams, lab sheets etc. I print those out. Students collaborate on assignments in class, they digitally complete web quests and escape rooms, virtual games and even draw and create 3D models on-line.

The value in this type of organization is immeasurable- as long as it is not used solely. As long as students are not sitting quietly for class periods just completing work on-line. This detracts from its purpose. Its purpose being- an organizational tool, not an instructional one. But, it comes in extremely handy on virtual learning days, snow days etc. We have used it to keep our school functioning during Covid and other days of virtual learning due to a boiler malfunction and flu outbreak.

I think it is a tool that can be amazing. But, as with all other software/technology it is only as good as far as it reaches. While my school is a Chromebook school (every student is required to own or lease one) many schools do not have access to technology on campus or at home. But if you do- this is an amazing tool to keep students organized and set up lessons in advance (always changeable) and communicate with them via steam or email.

The Evolution and Solution: Classroom Synergy

Classrooms evolve. Voices once quiet become heard. Imaginations change and flow with the topics. Familiarity enhances relationships. Days of good behavior overlap those with shenanigan's and outbursts. Every day is different. The routines might be consistent but the interest level, conversations and attitudes adapt and evolve.

Every class period is unique. And within that uniqueness, there is diversity and vivid personalities playing off of one another- making a cadence of learning. Dynamic and fluid- classrooms are the embodiment of flexibility and challenge. Offering opportunities and growth experiences. They are why teachers become teachers. They are the landscape of our dreams- for we are always planning ahead, and imagining our ecosystems.

Days of desert transform into savannahs and jungles of growth. Icy moments melt to become oceans thriving with life and interaction. We do not need to create these places- they will germinate and pollinate all on their own- if we provide the radiant energy. If we provide an environment ready to transform- our students will dig and plant, feed and nurture their space and merge into the glorious spaces we call classrooms.

When they solve - they discover, build and tinker- students are more than the abiotic factors of learning- they are the vessels the natural beings that embody the ecosystem. They are not the soil nor the rocks but the growth itself. I see this every day: my classroom shifting and flipping, transforming and settling. It takes on the spirit of the voices and attitudes that enter it. I merely the light that beings the process. They the energy, synergy- life of the landscape.

So this week I am watching - staying a mere observer in the tussle and bustle of growth. I trim, I prune but they overgrow their habitats, creating a new succession of growth. and this right here...is pure magic.

Here are a Few of My Favorite Things....to do in a SCIENCE CLASSROOM

I am a science teacher through and through. I live and breathe science. I read social science and psychology books, I watch science shows, listen to science podcasts. Have I said I love science. It invigorates me. So this passion and interest flows from every pore in my classroom. I love to bridge different topics and discuss current findings in science. I think the more students hear about innovation and design, forward thinking and discover the more inspired they get to learn.

I have two classroom motto's

"Colliding with Science- Buckle up, we are going to do Collide with science today."

"I am not hear to teach you science, I am hear to teach you how to teach yourself science."

Science class should be messy, interactive, and energetic. These are the results of any collision. Yes, there are times when quiet ensues, or students work independently- but most of the time they are collaborating and analyzing text or building models, testing hypotheses. This is what science means to me. A mingling, overlapping and synergy of ideas and action.

Students love to build models and share ideas. Puppet shows are a great outlet for their creativity. I even built a puppet show stage. They love to do skits and write raps and songs to perform about science topics. They actually appreciate a moment or two to perform and learn from one another. They love to play with LEGO or Play-Doh and create colorful models.

This week they build giant organelles that we put into a giant cell. They build structures to withstand heat or cold- insulators. They are designing superhero's. My high schoolers are enhancing body systems (6) to accommodate their powers and writing origin stories. My middle schoolers are creating hero's or villains who use thermal energy in their powers. They are making 3D models of their hero/villain and my high schoolers are drawing portraits of theirs.

The last week, we did an experiment with an egg about osmosis. Students placed the egg in vinegar over night to dissolve the shell. Then water over night, corn syrup over night and then a different solution (soda, OJ or even milk) overnight. We discussed hypertonic vs hypotonic solutions and cellular membrane phospholipids- but talking didn't do it- they needed a week long experiment, investigation, to really understand the concept. Then we went outside and filmed the eggs as we dropped them on the ground. It was awesome.

Having students lead the discussion is a great way for them to take responsibility for their learning. Hold them accountable to demonstrate their understanding. Students usually sign up for a day to present something of interest about a topic. We do 1-2 a day and this allows them to learn from one another, not just me. Shy students start to open up after presenting and it really sparks conversation to life after they see one another go through the process.

Lastly, 1 minute-check in's are my go to. Every week - 1 minute with every student. A check in, a time to chat or review with them individually. This fosters communication, lessens stress and builds relationships. It heightens awareness and brings my classroom into a more mindful mindset. These are a few of my favorite things to do- they work for me, I tweak as necessary, extend when needed and together our collisions are frequent and our learning growth oriented.

Superhero Bonanza!

The superhero craze is very much alive. Students talk about them, compare powers, discuss movies. It is something everyone can relate to. The struggles of Peter Parker. The strength of Thor. The villainy of Ultron and Thanos. How can we bring these fantastical characters into our classroom? There are so, so many ways. The science behind them, the physics of their powers, the psychology of their behavior, the mathematics of their speed, strength etc.

My classes are creating superheroes. My 6th graders are creating superheroes with powers that interact with heat- thermodynamics. They can have powers that utilize particle motion shifts, the collection or release of heat, the harnessing of cold- in other words thermal energy transfer. We are discussing how to create and write an origin story and they also need to create a 3D model of their character. Villains are allowed as well and some students are combining their characters into stories. 

My high schoolers need to go deeper. They are creating superheroes or villains that mutate or enhance physically. They need to explain 6 body systems and how they have altered to create the characteristics of their superhero. They are creating a story to explain the origin and transformation of their character and drawing portraits of their characters.

This week is all about Superheros and it is AMAZING! Bam! Pow! Excelsior!

Just Breathe

Uniformity is dangerous. Thinking alike, falling into the pit of we must think this way or that. This is never going to happen. Thus a divide the size of the Grand Canyon is tugging at both sides- separating, deeper and deeper the fall.

Diversity is freedom. Uniqueness and creativity comes from the core of individuality. The sense that what we think and how we think can bring change. As we have seen this change might not be for the better- we may despise the rhetoric, we may want to throttle the trolls- but without freedom of expression- we squelch innovation.

The beauty of the Internet and social media- is we can choose not to look or listen. But, we should look and listen, if only to understand what we do not. We need to hear, not necessarily agree or appreciate- but understand, for we can not change if we do not understand the reason we need to do so. Yes, some things that need changing are blatant and obvious. But the darkness that lurks underneath and behind- the root cause under the soil- we miss and then we can not prevent.

Just breathe. Just listen and try very hard not to recoil and ignore. Being happy and brutally positive is not the trick either. But being willing to listen- to respond not react- that is key. I hear and see things that make me want to scream and hide every day. The world keeps spinning around and around and with the movement comes so much negativity it can be overwhelming.

But, I listen. I try to understand. I am trying desperately not to judge- but I am human. I can not be positive and perky many days and thus steer clear of social media- I tell my children and students daily- "It is no ones business that you are in a bad mood."- "Your politics and opinions are yours alone , we have individual frameworks that allows us to interpret and make sense in our own way." If you want to shout from the rooftops your anger and frustration, be ready for the other voices to respond.

I choose to keep most things to myself. It is simpler that way for I am an introvert. I do not like or seek out confrontation. This does not make me anything but cautious and yes- unique and individual to my own thinking and reactions. My responses are my own and I like to think a bit before putting them out into the world. I am not a toxically positive person- I get stupidly frustrated and vent like the rest of the population. I just do it in the comfort and isolation of my home- offline.

I choose to just breathe.

A Splat, Scurry and Solitude

burst

splat, explosion of ingenuity

expansion

leaving a mark

the doldrums scurry

further expansion

edges blurring together

forward and back

the subtle silence lingers

as rumble and giggle encircles

watch

listen

creativity unfold

and yet

my mind never quiets

it always tugs

A week of Blogs (Feb 22- March 1)

 A week in a day. Sometimes it feels like it is a month in a day when you are in education. Virtual classes, in-person classes, snow days- it makes a week seem so fast. But it also works in reverse. When you get a disturbance in the normal schedule- a week undisturbed feels like an eternity. I prefer a full week with out disruption but this week has been another with a snow day.

Crazy times. Been so busy converting brick and mortar lessons into virtual ones. Blogging took a back seat. But, this day is calming things down and now I can get my thoughts out.

The word fine, is a word that I think is a spackle word- it covers what lies underneath. When someone responds fine- it does not tell the true story. But it has become a phenomenon- this word. Its not okay to complain, its not okay to brag about how happy you are- how great things are going for you. People have put up a shell these days.

or

They are loud and boisterous- letting everyone know they are unhappy. Venting.

It seems there is not a center these days. Educators are tired. But, we put on a brave face and hunker down. We keep things to ourselves most time. We say things are fine. But are they?

I hope everyone is feeling better than fine. 

Mask Mandate Lifted #49

Most states already lifted their mask mandate. I think it was just New Mexico and Hawaii that were left. So our governor lifted ours at 1:00 pm today. It was sudden. No one saw it coming. Least of all schools. I heard about it on social media. Then at about 4:00 pm our school sent out an email and robocall. Masks are now optional.

The debate lingers here, as everywhere. Sides, debates, fits of rage and condescending stares are running amok. So it will, I am sure, filter into the campus and cause some situations on Monday. I've been behind a mask in school, in Texas and  New Mexico for two years. It feels a necessary step is warranted, normalcy is warranted- but the conversation needs to stay alive.

The concerns of many need to be addressed. I have stayed out of the conversation- heated, tumultuous arguments are not my jam. But I am sure there will be some on Monday. I will carry a mask around with me. If I am near a student I will put it on. If I am lecturing or at my desk away from students I might take it off. Either way it is a choice. I feel this choice is necessary.

Many of the teachers at my campus feel uncertain and will wear one all the time. Some won't wear one at all. The same for students- many whom are vaccinated while many are not. It is a familial thing and an individual thing- a choice and I for one feel choice is important. We probably will see a surge of cases as new germs are assimilated and dispersed- but we need to try to find a balance.

Bitter Cold a Coming #48

Boilers are important to a school building. In the winter when they don't work- classrooms, hallways and lunch rooms are bitter cold. Sweaters, scarves and coats are great for outdoors but not desks and chairs- learning is hindered with distractions. But, also it is very hard to focus and concentrate on much when the chilly sensation of winter is knocking.

We closed for a week, last month while they attempted to fix the boiler. We layered and huddled for a day then administration decided we needed a warm place to learn- virtually from home. We came back and fought against the chill for a few days but then a winter storm (our second in 3 weeks) jumped in and dropped our temperatures below freezing again. Thus we are out for another 3 days.  

This is so strange to me- virtual, in building, virtual, in building- what a roller coaster. Of the 4 week course with HS I just taught I saw them 2 weeks in the classroom. Now we are in another term and I just missed 3 days with them. It is necessary, but frustrating. But it is the quandary of a charter school. Things are independent of the local school district. It is finally fixed and hopefully it will stay warm in the building moving forward.

They just lifted our mask mandate and Monday will be our first day on campus with the option of wearing a mask.

The Muck #47

Muck is a good word. It brings to mind muddy waters, thick gooey puddles of sticky slop. You can imagine the traps, the dungeons of hope and fortitude filling up as the liquid disperses and sucks in the fear. Like a quagmire, it might at times hold you in place- make you feel cornered and stuck.

But it can also build a wall, A wall on which we can lean and take a rest. Muck. We have all swam in it, sank below the surface in it, and discovered how to built a raft in order to ride the waves it causes. We avoid it, we jump into it- we welcome it.

For the muck is everything we misunderstand, we find ugly, we care deeply about, and we use to kick ourselves into gear. We step out of it more enlightened, more exhausted and more cognizant of what we need to do. But it can be heavy, it can weight us down and slow our pace. But, it allows us to see the scenery and make decisions and choices.

The muck is something we need to experience. We need to be at the center of it- not in the outer rings of its orbit.

So lean in, even crouch if you need to, sink a toe in- and follow the current.

Hearts, Bouquets and Lots of Sweets #46

Masks can't hide the pride students carry around on Valentine's Day. Smiles vibrate from beneath the mask- candy hearts, red lollipops, Fun Dip, giant Teddy Bears. The wave of red and pink is giant on this day.

I enjoy watching students interact and just feel connected.

Its a very colorful and energetic day indeed.

You Energy is Your Essence #43

 Let's be honest, we don't always have a good day. We are not always in an upbeat mood. We have lulls in our day, where we are just plain old tired and irritable. We get cantankerous. Unfortunately, we as educators, are not provided time to take a break and change our mood.

We have to keep teaching, trying to stay cheerful, even when we want to rip someones eyes out. It could be home life, traffic on the road, even that we just don't feel our best- but we have to keep going, keep moving forward, no matter our comfort level.

I am always writing about mindfulness strategies and they may seem silly, or exaggerated but I assure you they work. I spend a lot of time reading books about behavior, first impressions and 'reading' people and the one thing they all have in common is- we have to pay attention, listen and be patient. We misjudge all the time as humans, as we all know.

But, if we just spend a little more time thinking before we speak, we can make some huge changes in our lives. If we pay attention to our demeanor: facial expression, eye contact, body language and word choice- we can eliminate some of the opinions, that get made about us, before we even start to speak to someone.

We all have an energy. Just like we all have pheromones, a chemical smell we give off. We also give off an energy, it may be invisible, unscented and unnoticeable to some respect, BUT it is felt down to our core. We feel it others, sense it. We make choices to avoid those who may be giving off negative vibes, while migrating towards those who inspire us with their optimism and joyful attitude. We all have a presence- sometimes it is mindful, other times it isn't.

There is nothing I can say to change your mind. If you do not feel the importance of mindfulness, deep inside your bones, then nothing I say will mean anything. My students when I started our positivity-mindfulness strategies- looked at me sideways and literally snickered. They didn't believe me. They thought it was just another flavor of the week.

Yet, day by day, week by week, they started to listen. They started to believe in the process. They began to say more kind things, behave more neighborly in my class. At first it was cordial and felt rehearsed. But after a few weeks it became more natural and heart-felt. You could feel the change in attitude and disposition.

Our energy precedes us. It travels faster than we do. It connects with the energy of others, before we even reach them and if its cross or dismal- we may lose a connection. If it is erratic and crestfallen, others may avoid us and then we will feel isolated. We have to change our energy. The only way we can do that is to be self-aware and self-regulatory.

We have to do the proverbial thing "take a walk in someone else's shoes." Not to feel what they feel in this instance, but to see ourselves through their eyes- their emotions. When we do we might just be horrified at our behavior. But until we see ourselves as harbingers if energy- we won't be able to convert the negativity to positive verve. Believe in the process and you might just surprise yourself.

Another Virtual Week #38

Times are strange. Things at times feel like they are coming together, reaching some kind of normalcy. But then a boiler goes out an after a week of virtual due to Covid cases, we come back for a day then go out again virtual. almost two weeks of virtual. A reminder to stay on your toes as you will need to pivot quickly these days.

Updating lessons to digital quickly is something I can do, thankfully, but coming back for the last day before finals- is a bit disheartening- I barely got to meet my HS students this term - I saw them 2 of the 4 weeks in person. 

Stay open-minded- that's all we can do these days.

Cake and Eating it too: Teacher Love #37

 Don't let anyone tell you that teaching is a cake walk. That people do it for the summers off or weekends or federal holiday's. Don't let people tell you that 'those who can't do, teach." Because you know what? -teaching is a lot of doing. More than can be written in a book or described in a blog post. 

Every teacher has their Tupperware container of strategies and lesson plans. Their go to activities or video clips and warm-ups. There is a certain level of comfort every teacher has- maybe it takes awhile, but they find it. And each one is unique.

Honestly teaching is a set of parameters, and where each of us as an educator falls within them, depends on a few factors. Angles. Parallel or perpendicular. But we fall within them. Because once we take the vow, commit to the profession, we establish our location. Some on the fringe, others well in the center. But, we choose early on where we want to reside.

But as we unpack and settle in- we each have to varying degrees, our Tupperware tool box, full of strategies to cope with and work with the following: Just thinking about them means you recognize them. Some are familiar others foreign but all need our attention.

1. Teacher and student resilience
2. Following the rules
3. Bending the rules
4. Fortitude of action over words
5. Keeping our ego in check
6. Binoculars and microscopes
7. Listening with intention
8. Responding not reacting
9. Is anybody here? Is anybody listening?
10. Leave your pacing guide behind, must we color in the lines?
11. Each class is different, each student unique
12. Learning is not universal
13. Lesson plans do not mean ease of execution, they only give you a starting point
14. Teams are important, no matter how long you have been teaching
15. Technology is not a replacement for anything, just a way to make things more accessible
16. Zoom and Room are equal
17. Digital and digits- never one shall overtake the other
18. Stations are great when they are purposeful, not just another way to read while standing
19. Why long - if you can be succinct and leave more room for exploration
20. Homework should be minimal to leave room for home thinking
21. Do we ever master teaching or are we always in progress?
22. Education is an amalgam of what you like, what they need, and the time and place of collision
23. Brick and mortar versus keys and screens, should be minimal- Zoom is a classroom, it needs inclusion, innovation and your full attention

Just what I have been thinking about. Maybe chapters in a book. Maybe just thoughts. We shall see. Either way, they are what educators are facing. I just wanted to give words to the jumble.

Resistance is Futile #36

 Resistances confront you. Anxiety sets in, when you become conscious, of how much you are avoiding preparation. The sheer thought of writing, shuts you down. You get stuck trying to prove to yourself, that you still got it. The proving ground, enlarges, each blade of turf standing on end, just waiting for the 'cleat' of inspiration to crush it. Yet, no indentation occurs. Only a silent breeze, causing it to waver. Both extremes present themselves, they always show up. All in or avoidance.You can let things percolate, which seems lazy and evasive, or you can ninja attack it. However, too many swipes at open air, not making contact, can set things, even more off course. There are many tough drill instructors out there, ready to redirect and guide you. But, you have to be your own. That is the only way innovation can set in.

Something has been afoot recently, not distraction per se, but a density that feels suffocating. You need general maintenance. A reboot. A shut down. This is the only way to hear the ping...ping...ping.. in the fog. The only way that your crucible can be resolved. You breathe in deeply, taking in the ether. Lessons come in the ether. Ideas linger there. You have to grab them before they go away. You have to be open to the experience. If you proceed with precision, like a scientist, you may miss it. You have to find the spot of relaxation, calmness, flexibility. Inspiration can be deep inside, swirling a mile a minute, but if you are dissecting it, rather than inhaling it, it can become sterile. You have to let go, to not prepare so much, that accidents don't happen. When you are too dialed in, you often get a busy signal. Accidents are opportunities, that allow beauty, to find its way to you.

If you give yourself thirty choices. you will always be disappointed. you will second guess your choice. But if you limit yourself to three, you are more focused and wind up more satisfied. Choice is necessary, we all desire options and preference, but when over-stimulated, by franchise and selection, we get blinded. The ether is not precise, nor is it filled with advertisements or claims of betterment. It is merely a celestial center, in which our thoughts can find their voice. It is a cosmos of opportunity, based on what we can identify in the moment. If we struggle within it, it will dissipate. If we lean in, it will be a comforting blanket, of hope and direction, that will inevitably bring in to focus an idea, a creative notion, a moment of clarity.

This week my ether was no where in sight. I got lost, not in a focused fog, but a quagmire of indecision, distraction and murk. Each step was viscous and glutinous- slowing my every musing, to a syrupy, sludgy pace. I could only function in automatic pilot. I did not Tweet, blog or even read ferociously, as I tend to do. It is Thursday tomorrow and I am just now, starting to see the wispy entrance of my ether. The filaments are emerging, from the darkness and an awakening is taking place. I can see the revelation. Burn out is real. Fatigue will conquer fortitude, if we allow ourselves to be weakened, with too much responsibility. Sometimes there is nothing we can do, but to let it. To abdicate, to its charm. Escape is very inviting. We all need to be rescued at times, from our overzealous nature. Our minds have to go dark. But, after a personalized, well-deserved remedy, we bounce back. I am finally bouncing back.

Classroom Hidden Gems #35

 Hidden: potential, optimism, strength, confidence. We all have these qualities- yet sometimes they allude us. The dirt settles, they get covered with the dust and miasma of a hard days work. They get forgotten because we get so hyper focused on our jobs, our life. These beautiful characteristics at times need to be aired out, like crisp sheets on the clothes line. Refreshed with every gentle breeze.

We get weighted down, our classrooms feel stagnate at times, when we are feeling the loss of movement and interaction. But, we can still have them. We can instill in our students the tools to scavenge and dig, to find these: potential, optimism, strength, confidence. Remind them they possess these powerful tools. Our focus is distracted, diffused like scattered beams of hope. We are all trying to be present, stay motivated- when we are afraid of the virulence of it all.

We need to make sure in our classrooms to dig deep. To open the chests of submersion and discover the shiny excitement and engagement that all of our students are eager to put on display. They are ready to interact whether on zoom or at a desk- they are ready to discuss, collaborate and share ideas. We just have to have safe ways for them to do so.

I used a lot of breakout rooms on Zoom this week. I used round tables in my classroom for discussions. I had 1-minute check-ins. I asked broad questions and let my classes discuss openly on a discussion board and in a verbal conversation. It got noisy- but only temporarily. They on their own figured out a way to make it work. I simply listened and I learned a lot from them. Opinions matter, dissention is inevitable but trust and respect is achievable with one simply action- the act of humility.

The act of listening. The act of taking turns. Of making sure we choose our words to express our meaning not to demean the words or ideas of others. We often are afraid to let our students truly take the reigns. But, when we do, once we have set up parameters and designed a positive community, we can. We can because they will feel safe to share and disagree- but in the end- they smile. In the end they go to the next class, not drudging this conversation behind them- but moving forward having learned something from it.

I was amazed to see how well my classes interacted and discussed with such trust and respect. I model this of course- but when it happens it is such a beautiful thing to witness. Hidden gems. Those quiet students who shine when everyone chooses respect and tolerance. When everyone looks for the good in one another. I absolutely love teaching, love being an educator, love being an observer to the open dialogue that trust imbibes in a classroom. 

Spirit is everything. It can be hidden under the weight of  contagion but it is slowly removed from the dark crevices when we believe in our students. I for one, believe in mine. Not just on paper but in action, in interaction, in organized chaos. In noisy engagement and quiet reflection. In the real world, talking over each other but then settling into the conversation moments.

I know that they have a lot going on and are carrying a lot of doubt and fear. They need a haven for expression. A safe place to just be themselves- not just feel they have a voice, but to use it. This week we got to use ours to really talk science and reasoning- and the gems, they glistened bright. Never to be buried again.

Reality takes a Front Seat #32

 Being Specific, Talking Slowly and Precisely

Flattening the curve. A term we hear every day on the news. Learning curve. Something educators are repeating, like autopilot responses, in every email response we are sending.

Parents are frustrated- mostly due to confusion and incomplete directions. Students are anxious, they often get lost in the multi-platform, various ways to turn in assignments- the submission quagmire.

As a parent, today in fact, I screamed at the top of my lungs. A week of work turned in by my ten-year old, on the district platform, now has to be entered on a different platform. I kind of lost it.

A crying ten-year old, didn’t help keep my mindfulness in check either. The response from the teacher- ‘I sent an email a week ago, the first of the four I sent.” Really? Do you know how many emails parents are getting? Teachers are getting.

I simply replied. “Thank you for all you do.” I know she is a fellow educator and she is flattening the curve too. Finding her groove in the learning curve. But it got me thinking. 

Has this happened to any of the parents of my students? Was I not clear at some point, and they chose to say, “Thank you for all you do,” instead of venting at me?

Reality Check #1- Emails get lost. Send out clear, precise, very specific directions at the beginning of every week. Link it to the module or lesson as a must do before they begin anything else. 

A post and a podcast. Some parents and students need verbal instructions, while others prefer text.

Not only will this minimize emails to you and questions for you- it will more importantly, ease parental anxiety and student frustration.

The Rules Have Changed, But the Game Remains the Same

Relentless routines grind down the peaks. It is no one’s job to create a peak- it’s a hassle and time-consuming, to say the least. But we can build our determination.

We can help our students find their fortitude and tenacity. But, if we do not design lessons (yes even on-line) that engage them, this dedication will wane quickly. We as educators need to look for moments of substance and impact in everyday life.

Distance learning needs games, not just practices. We are no longer present, looking them in the eye, for 45 minutes a day. Even if we are chatting in an on-line group, we still have very little control, over what they are doing.

Let’s face it, behavior management has shifted from teacher to parent and with a house full of kids, it is difficult to maintain. I personally, have a quick 15-minute chat and a 15-minute conference each week as a class. That’s all.

Then I set up some assignments for them to do independently. And a blog/discussion where they can interact and bounce ideas off of one another, without me.

It’s not easy to erase the chalk line between habit (what they look for) and the unanticipated (what we hope they see). Familiarity and notability are at odds.

We need to break this consistently and prevent student expectation and boredom. In other words, stir things up a little. Ask an absurd question, let them have some fun discussing how to answer it.

Our lessons need to be recognizable and comfortable to a certain degree, especially for differentiation purposes, but they also need to have some wonder.

Reality Check #2– On-line lessons often run off of modules or a sequenced list. Unfortunately, this is a recognizable, familiar format and should be left as the scaffold.

But, without pulling in too many unknowns- too many outside places to submit things, we should keep things interesting. But compelling and stimulating need not be some totally new format.

Add a funny comic for them to interpret, or piece of art to creatively write about- within the same platform. Don’t add more components- just more layers.

Break the Script

Let’s face it, the ‘moments’ we were having as a class, in person, are on hold. The magic and light shows, our pyrotechnic hooks and introductions, seem unattainable currently. In a way they are. The performance art, every educator utilizes, seems unnecessary, but is it?

The idea is easy, the execution is hard. They can click on millions of links at any time. There ARE far more flamboyant, humorous and entertaining videos and games available to them- than us.

Reality Check #3- We are not the most cool or engaging thing on the Internet. Or in their learning world.

But, we can up our game. The venue might be set, but the stakes can be raised. The sensory appeal can be attractive enough, that we get them away from their devices for a while. We can avoid the soul sucking voice of reasonableness.

Italo Calvino- “Seek and learn to recognize who and what in the midst of the inferno, are not inferno, then make them endure, give them space.”

I see this as an opportunity to use the space, the distance between us as a tool. Use it as a pause button. This can give students time to figure things out, without us bombarding them with stimulus and questions.

We need to use the routine, the scaffolding of our on-line platform- but the problems we present to them can remove them from it. Flip the script. Have them create a lesson and share it with the class in a blog/discussion.

Let them find new websites and games that will help other students.

Break the script by simply giving students a topic- a single vague question and then tie it to the unit. Make sure they understand the parameters and then set them free.

You will be amazed at the level of complexity and thoroughness they will show.

There is an ‘I'm’ in Imperfection

Distance learning has taught me one thing. My classroom is run like a loose confederacy.

I rely on the commitment of my students. It is my job to create a place, albeit a virtual one, where my students don’t just understand something, but that they feel something.

I need to deliver a jolt. There is a certain freshness and sport, about this whole new learning platform. There is a novelty of first times in our lives. It helps when we make sure to bring this into our lessons. It creates a sense of curiosity.

Reality Check #4- There is beauty in imperfection. There is humility in vulnerability that leads us to more connections with parents and students. Be honest, deliberate and understanding.

Listen, read an email, then read it again. Respond not react. Take the time to be imperfect because if you focus on being perfect, you will miss opportunities to problem solve, with parents and students. We are better together.

Soak up the Bumps

You can’t schedule a realization. Or prompt a student discovery. You can, however, leave clues for them to follow and hopefully at the end of the maze, something clicked into place.

Reality Check #5- Students are not Lego bricks and sometimes, they just don’t connect with the content.

So how can we make sure, that they trip over the truth? We need to make sure that every student is figuring things out- yet, we absolutely do not want to make things too challenging- this is a time for simplicity.

Then with those students who need some enrichment- we can design for some obstacles. It is an oddity, a juxtaposition for me, to have modules they need to follow. It feels too structured. It takes away some of my creativity. BUT it is necessary.

Consistency is absolute. What lies within the assignments, the layers within are where the creativity lies? Where choice can be presented.

We are presenting a pile of Lego bricks- but we need to allow them choice of size, shape and color- the architecture is personal, the tools are universal.

Let's not let the Wish be the Father of the Thought

What we are doing as educators currently, with distance learning is- TRUTH- forcing us into a screen. An entity students have long ago accepted as a tool for fun and adventure.

So, we can make our lessons remarkable or forgettable- we have to choose because, we already have a barrier, the computer itself and all its glorious options.

Delighting your students is unattainable, unless you provide the basics. There is a constant face-off between time and attention. Every quibble relocates their attention and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.

Reality Check #6- It is hard to keep students from adopting a siege mentality.

We need multi-trackers- promotion(keep them excited and surprised)and prevention(removing heft but keeping value). Bright spots are necessary.

Students are living in an emotional cul-de-sac. It feels like they are trapped and in a sense they are. We have a risk- one that leans towards in-action. How can we combat this?

1-Create a local analogy- a similar problem, something we all have in common, quarantine, distancing, anxiety. In other words, a granular problem for them to solve.

2-Create a regional analogy- another problem to compare it to, (activity specific). In other words, a conceptual problem they need to solve.

3-Ladder up the lessons- On the lower rungs give them a view of the situation, to find similarities. Then the higher rungs, offer more and more options of how to answer questions- give them reasons to go outside in their yard, play a board game, play their instrument or dance around to their favorite song- and ask them to make connections to the content.

As the week goes on, and the content solidifies, we can get more and more abstract. They can ascend the ladder until they have understanding. If they don’t. Offer some binoculars (review podcast, outside websites and articles) for them to be able to see the view from every angle.

Some students will get there early, some will take every rung. It doesn’t matter, as long as they keep climbing because they are curious what they will find.

Reality Check #7- Not everyone has a ladder. Not everyone wants to climb a ladder. We have to present our lesson at ground level as well as throughout the ascension.

1- The platform is there for a reason. To make things as clear and simple as possible.
2- Too much information is not what students need. They need simple, but also open-ended enough for them to put their own stamp on it.
3-  The layers are what matter- the components are universal the layers are personal.
4-  You can’t avoid confusion. You can’t prevent misunderstanding. No matter how clear you think you are (text and verbal in a podcast) there will always be someone who needs help. Be patient.
5- Students don’t need pyrotechnics they need moments of reveal and a stream of consistency. You are not their only teacher.
6-  Parents need one email, if that, a week. Keep it simple and direct. They are bombarded, under siege at every direction. Put yourself in their shoes.
7-  It should never be about the grade. Always about the growth. Growth comes from curiosity- its that simple.
8- Let them communicate with one another- social interaction is virtual and we need to let them just talk, as we do in our brick and mortar classrooms.


Now...take a deep breath....the learning curve is flattening, the contagion curve will take more time. 

Find your favorite song- the one that makes you energized, reflective and passionate.

For me it's "Across the Universe" by The Beatles. If you haven't listened to it in a while- you should. It will give you a new perspective.

A Shift in Perspective -The Covid Diaries #29

I sit, watching my cat sleep in the warmth of the winter sun. It makes his ginger fur glisten. My kitten, white and furry, nestles beside him. It is the quiet part of the day. The morning is a bustle of energy- they topple and scurry- loud thunderous tustle breaks the silence. The early afternoon is calm and they rest. Then late-afternoon the craziness begins again and cat toys are strewn all over the house. We have had our three cats about six weeks now. They have added a new energy- it's comforting.

I am calmer these days- I tend to sit at my desk working on classroom stuff, or reading. I switch my venue from cozy corner to sofa- bed to desk chair. Our house tends to be quiet, an occasion video game yelp from one of my boys rooms- but generally quiet. We meet up for dinner- watch our favorite shows or play board games- but generally we are in our bubble of alone time during the day. Quarantining has definitely created an energy flow both calm and reassuring- yet laced with a burst of high movement and collision. I think of it like a giant lava lamp- melding and stretching- melting and separating.

I have started collecting things that remind me of childhood- stuffed animals and a few dolls. I have taken out my 1990's collection of Beanie Babies and put it on display. My office is a cornucopia of comfort and memory. It adds another layer of calm and reflection. Making my new house (lived here mopt enven 5 months yet) a home of all of our comfort materials- my boys Lego and their own collections- has helped us jumping in and out of isolation bearable. I like to be home. I do not like going to restaurants or big venues. I prefer the womb-like safety of my home.

This last week or so we have been virtual- and I have had pneumonia (for the first time in 2 years). Thank goodness the two cincided because sick days are minimal and being able to virtually teach has been a blessing. Hoarse and tired but on the mend. I am looking forward to getting back in the classroom with my High-Schoolers (who switch courses in a week, finals in a week) and my middle schoolers (who I have for another 4 weeks). I will get two new classes of high schoolers in a week. It is so weird to have two different schedules. But, it keeps me on my toes. At least I get to keep my biology HS courses. Just switching flavors.

So Covid has changed a lot in my life- in all our lives.

It is going to stick around awhile I fear- but we are all adapting. We are protecting ourselves, as we see fit. 

For this I am so blessed to have a beautiful home, a wonderful family and the opportunity to do what I love.

The High School, Middle School Bridge #27

Disclaimer

I am a middle school teacher. I have always taught junior high. But now I teach both- high school and middle school. I have student-taught in elementary classrooms and have observed many grade levels. This post is about my recent encounters, peppered with what I know from previous experiences with students. Every level requires slightly different tactics and strategies, but every grade, every subject area when given the time to build opportunities for self-reliance, self-advocacy and self-confidence, will help create a well-balanced learner who moving forward, will possess the skills to be successful.

Commonality

The core is the same, curiosity, eagerness, a bit of distraction. One may be smaller in stature, however, when you take the time to talk to them, ask questions and listen to their stories- you find that elementary students are very similar, to their taller counterparts. The biggest difference I find, is the affection. Younger students, even after only a few days of teaching them, hug you. Some middle schooler's hug, but only at the end of the year, generally. I taught Elementary STEAM Summer Camp last week and the attachment and endearment from many of the students was outward and steadfast. I loved it. I am used to camaraderie and community, with a bubble of standoffishness.

At the end of the school year, with my students, there were smiles and "we will miss yous", but mostly waves. 7th graders tend to be more stoic and non-emotional. But after summer camp, there were a lot of hugs and tearful good byes, after only a week. It was adorable and the kids were so outgoing and collaborative- a beautiful thing to see. Now, there were some disagreements and a few arguments between them, but overall, they got along great- these 112 students were from fourteen different elementary schools throughout our district and they came together and learned science through cooperation and collaboration. Cooperative endeavors and collaborative action. Some harked from affluent neighborhoods, others from low SES communities, but it didn't matter- at the STEAM camp they were from the same locality, the same region called 4th and 5th grade.

Just like students from different grade levels and different schools, teachers of primary, elementary, middle and high school differ in many ways, yet we all have certain things in common. We are all looking for strategies that work. We do not get on social media to troll or attack one-another, at least the majority of us don't. We join chats and share our ideas through Twitter, not because we can, but because we have the strong, deep seeded urge, to learn and grow from alternate perspectives. What makes education great is educators who look outward, who are willing to take-risks and share their experiences. We are a giant collective, a global phenom, not because we share, but because we listen.

Uniqueness

I observe students a lot. I appreciate the time I have in a student-driven classroom to not speak. I enjoy listening and guiding with simplicity. Of course younger students need more instructions and more specificity, when it comes to how to do things, however, they also deserve the same student-centered design. They deserve choice of product, the ability to tinker and design independently and work cooperatively with their peers. When we provide these opportunities they step up in a beautiful way. Many need the guidance older students don't but when this supervision also allows for independence, all students thrive- because they get to imagine their learning as their own and this gives them the reigns, this lets them climb on and see the view from the saddle, rather then the stirrups.

The way elementary students collaborate is much different than the way middle grade students do. Younger students all jump in equally, they want to handle and manipulate everything, have a say in every aspect because to them it is not seen as learning- it is internalized as a game, a playing field that needs to be conquered. There is no grade attached for them, there is no evaluation, only self-satisfaction of accomplishment. I watched these amazing 4th and 5th graders at camp struggle and get defeated, while a few shut down, most talked about it, figured it out together. A skill universal yes, but often in elementary students it is about "me" not "us." They built bottle rockets, marble mazes, programmed Sphero's and Ozobots, and they got artsy with masks and slime. But, overall, they tinkered, designed and created some awesome things because they did not see the tasks as work, but as fun. Me became us and tasks became play, with a little bit of work added in.

Now, in my 7th grade classroom, there is a lot of communal activities and collaborative lessons- but the underlying focus for most students is the grade. How accurate do I need to be, how much detail needs to be added to the reflection, how am I going to get full-credit? It is very difficult to get my students to see beyond the grade sometimes. When they ask me, "what type of grade is this other or minor?"- I just say "yes." But, once they get the materials, they begin to tinker, design and build: models, diorama's, 3D giant cells- they get engrossed in the process and the grade fades in importance. I have spoken to teachers of 4th and 5th graders and they have told me that, they do ask about grades, but not as much because what the grade will be, or how to get the A, is not what they feel is important. They are focused more on if they are doing it right, because they want approval above a good grade. This I noticed at the STEAM camp, they were not looking for personal satisfaction, but more for outside approval.

This I witness every summer when I get the opportunity to work with 4th and 5th graders. There is no grade per se in camp, but there are points and these points add up and at the end of the week the winning team gets medals. There is an underlining competitiveness- but it is quickly shadowed with "What do you think? Does this look cool? Look what I made?" While, my 7th graders during STEAM activities are saying "Did I meet all the requirements? Does this look like an A project?" The biggest difference I saw when it comes to approval, is 7th graders are looking for self-satisfaction and recognition while 4th and 5th graders are looking for approval- for acceptance. What a difference a few years makes. What happens to change the focus from fun to learning?

Bridging the Differences to Create More Uniqueness

So why does this matter? The younger grades of course have different gradients of the 4th and 5th grade mentality, while high-school students are centered more on grades and GPA. So how can we bridge the gap? How can we make learning more about self-satisfaction and less about requirements and ranking?  In the higher grade levels, it is never not going to be about grades- it can't be, because these grades get you into a good college. Your GPA is a mark of passage, a calling card for admission boards. But, how much knowledge are these students actually retaining? How much rote memory is replacing problem-solving, independent thinking and self-advocacy? Sometimes, facts and data need to be given quickly, but what they do after they memorize is what's important- how they apply their new evidence, details and knowledge is what makes 'big picture' thinking emerge.

Design and Implementation 

I find that between all students I have observed and been able to teach there are a few strategies that work across all grade levels. These strategies not only promote 21st century skills, independence and cooperation, but they also merge the need for approval with the desire to grow and learn. The simple may seem like a cop out to some- but not all lessons need to be elaborate, not all class periods need to be exciting. Productive and purposeful, yes. Engaging and relevant, yes. So how can we keep our day to day activities meaningful, beneficial and gratifying, but still, student-driven and student-centered? We as educators need to plan- be flexible and above all else, be willing to loosen the reigns and let them roam free. We need to step back and let them have more control- routine is great, necessary even, but flexibility negates compliance and inspires innovation. For me, the most important strategy is independence. Don't assign projects with specific products- assign goals with certain outcomes but an endless array of presentation and demonstration- choice over consistency.

We must also design our classrooms, not just our lessons to be student-centered. Make the space kid friendly, engaging and simple. Colorful and attractive, but with splashes of intensity. Too many things on the walls may look attractive, but it can be distracting and it also makes the space yours- not theirs. Leave a lot of empty space- let them decide what to put up on the walls. Provide lots of options of seating: tables round and square, standing desks, cushions and rugs to squat on. Flexible seating both physically and socially based, will create a communal feel and will allow students to take responsibility of their learning, behavior and time-management. This is what I feel is often set aside, student self-regulation opportunities- but if true learning is going to take place, students need to learn how to self-advocate and self-regulate. Responsibility is learned, compliance is assigned.

When we clear the learning space- they get very creative and then the space becomes an art studio, a science lab, a beautiful landscape of their choosing, rather than a structured venue of our comfortability level. We as educators want to feel comfortable and in control- but when we leave our classrooms free of self-centeredness, but rather construct it with a little bit of personal uncomfortability- this is when growth happens. For our students and for us. We feel more confident in our teaching and behavior management and students become more self-reliant and can regulate their interactions and progress. This is when we are forced to submit to the unpredictability of education. Again it is not giving up authority or discipline, it is accepting nonconformity and just a little dissension. Dissension leads to ingenuity and structure while it focuses us towards innovation and change, also shows us the edge and we can choose to steer clear or take the leap. Strict routines however, squash both.

If we set the guidelines, model positivity, trust and respect, reinforce the routine but also provide wiggle room for change and detours- we will be happier as educators. We all want to feel in charge because then we feel learning is taking place. But often when we have every moment planned out and we follow a specific path, with no exceptions- the classroom becomes compliant and predictable. Change things up- have an exit ticket rather than a warm-up, have students purposeful talk rather than write reflections, provide a makerspace of various materials rather than a bucket of specific ones. Give students the opportunity to build, record, write, draw or even act out their knowledge. While some students will shy away from unpredictability, it is important that they see it on occasion because life is very much unpredictable. We as educators will be there to relieve any of their concerns by guidance and nudging into independence.

Every student regardless of grade level will benefit from a student-centered, student-designed space. Where some age groups need more guidance and routine, they will benefit from opportunities to be independent. Opportunities to make a mess. Learning should be messy- our brains all work differently, all respond to challenges in our own unique way- so if we confine our lessons and classrooms into how we think, what makes us comfortable, we are going to lose many students. But if we make them more flexible and student-centered- they will connect to their learning because it will be personal, rather than general and ordinary. Engagement is intimate, growth is particular to oneself- and if we truly desire engagement and growth, we need to be inclusive of all peculiarities and oddities of thought, processing and imagination. A classroom full of collisions, discombobulation and reassembly is a classroom both personal and communal because learning is messy- so get ready educators- get your shovel and rake and get ready to till the soil, plant some seeds and step back and let your garden flourish.

Looking At An Eclipse- Captain Crunch Telescope #25

 Depression is real. It is not easily erased or suddenly overcome. It takes time, patience and a glimpse of what lies ahead. For, when we are dragged down, into the darkest of caves, we may hear voices around us, but we only see the rock: both slippery and moss covered. They seem treacherous and impenetrable. Although, if we just turned around, we could see the way out, our feet stand firm. Our eyes locked on the trap, that lies before us, entombs us. I have been there many times and only because those around me, made their voices louder than the darkness, did I turn and find my escape. 

Eclipses

Eclipses, an obscuring of light, a shadow over an object, a blockage of illumination. They are a sight to see when they are high above us. We can't alter them or avoid them, instead we have embraced them. We travel long distances to be able to encounter them first hand. To us, mere mortals, the moon and sun appear to come into such tight contact, that they seem to merge. I remember as a child, poking a small hole in a cereal box and going outside to take a peak, at one of these events. There really weren't any glasses available to the public back then, so we had to make our own makeshift optical devices. Every child in my class, was told to bring in an empty cereal box, to create our personal telescopes.

    

With Captain Crunch or Fruit Loops boxes in hand, we ventured, onto the grass at school, our teacher explaining the science. I have a vivid memory of feeling very separated from the occurrence, as I peered through the pin-sized opening. The box, smelled sweet of cereal remnants, distracting me. I wanted so much to feel the shadow cross over me, feel like the Earth was disappearing for a moment. But, that cereal box, held me fast to the planet. It was a view both accessible and safe, but guarded and remote. Now, as an adult, these eclipses, both literal and metaphorical, feel more scientific somehow, more meaningful when I come into contact with them. These transitions of light: alter perception, heighten curiosity and ultimately create realignment. They often transfix, but they also kindle our outlook, highlighting the need for change.

Obscuration does not only happen during celestial events of course. Shading and dimming can take place anytime, anywhere. When we lose sight of our achievements, walk away from our dreams, hesitate to take a risk. My grandmother always called these momentary or prolonged 'fits of fancy,' bone orchards. The cracks in the earth, from lack of rain, the places where we wear ourselves thin. Where we let fear choke us from behind. Fear is not something to be despised, it is a lifeline. It directs us away from danger and pain. It is a part of us, down to a cellular level. We have to coax it, appease it and befriend it. This is when it becomes beneficial rather than terminal.

Labyrinths

To avoid the labyrinths, we may come across, we have to keep a map close at hand. We have to stay on the path. Once you wander off into the wilderness, you can encounter nature at its purest, which is beautiful. But, you can also run into a bear or a mountain lion and if you are alone, they can trap you, in the farthest corner of your trepidation. We all feel this creeping, stinging feeling of certain collapse. We all make a wrong turn and become a statue, even if it is temporary, in the midst of the bends and twists, of the labyrinth of our thoughts. Every day we conquer the mazes placed before us- these lessons and puzzles we must solve to continue. They are placed before us not to trick us, but to test our resolve. For how can we make sense of the world, without the trials and tribulations of being human. But the entanglement, the snarl of self-deprecation, can place us smack in the middle of Mordor, the Forbidden Forest, or at the dinner table of the Queen of Hearts. To steer clear, we must find our own happiness, hold fast to our own grace, our own intentions.

Why take the first thought, best thought approach, when you can take a few more steps up the incline and see all the avenues. When we hyper focus on what we want and disregard what we need, we never feel fulfilled. We take comfort in knowing where we are going, but this can blind us, to alternative roads that may actually be less bumpy, filled with less potholes. The bog sets in, when we try to hard, to keep up with those around us. When we place ourselves in someone else's shadow. This quagmire is self afflicted. We can only escape the slough, if we choose to. We have to want to escape. We have to ask for help. The densest marsh, however,  can easily be sidestepped, if we see its muck, not as a trap. But, instead we use the mud to form stepping stones. The structures that heighten our lowland path, to an elevation both sunny and inviting.

Putting Down the Cereal Box

An eclipse does not have to separate us, isolate us, distance us from the action. The light may be blinding and we may have to look away temporarily, but if we put down the cereal box, we can see the positive effects much clearer. Observing from afar can be beneficial, it can be the coax you need, to allow fear to guide you into the flare. But viewing the world through a pin-hole is limiting. Why erect edges around vast opportunity? Why buffer the sounds of encouragement? Because the cereal box feels safe. It reminds us of childhood, both fruity and sweet. 

Our confidence is heightened, when we can see the bright colors, of the cartoons, on the outside of the box and enjoy the memories of youth. But, then we must place the empty cardboard, in the recycling bin, knowing we have gained nourishment, albeit minimal. Cereal may be sugary and provide us with some energy, but it is quickly burned calories. We need to see them for what their worth and then look forward and revel in the notion, that our next meal, will be a juicy burger, or piece of chocolate cake.