Live From _______________It's _____________Night (213)

Some days you wake up and it all seems like one giant comedy sketch. A replay of previous shenanigans. A slightly different script but the same ol’ punch line. It feels like there is a laugh-track following me around. The snickers and cackles bellowing out as I read the news. Loud applause as I try to fall asleep. It’s an endless ruckus.

The Ready for Primetime players, a wacky cast of characters seems to be in charge these days: making decisions, setting plans in motion no one wants. It’s the terrifying merge of dark comedy and absurdity. Slapstick behavior, irrational speech, people trying too hard to make the script work for them, anything for the laugh, acting for the words- not the other way around.

Stage directions keep the programming broadcasting, but the endless limerick of selfish minds is barely bringing the audience to attention. Distraction, disappointment, the sudden urge to dim the lights and empty the stage is raging. Yet, the show must go on. Scripts are being written like an assembly line of typewriters, click, click, clicking away into the void.

Every now and then a famous face will appear, great music, familiar themes, and actions. The audience refocuses, searching for the moment when something will be funny. Something will make the cost of admission worth it. But, the same ol’ characters, the same ol’ story, the same ol’ props and lighting. What is the purpose of a comedy sketch show if it isn’t funny?

Yet our tickets, they were not voluntary seating- they were mandatory. We are stuck on an instant replay setting and we must rewatch, relisten. Eyes trying so desperately to avert to normalcy. But the laugh track keeps playing and the lights keep rising, starting another sketch. We, always looking, hoping for a change of scenery, a new stage, a new setting.

Then we hear…. Live from ____________________ it’s _________________night. And the cycle begins again.

No Battle Plan Outlasts Contact with the Enemy? Well Maybe Some (211)

Highlight your strengths. Listen to your heart. Trust your instincts.

When plans meet the real world, the real world will not yield to your plan; you much adapt to the circumstances- the fluid, rapids of experience. These situations at hand. These disruptions and detours. 

If you get twisted up tight in well-laid plans, if you focus too much on the details- you lock into place. Your tires spin. You can't argue with flow. Water, air, lava, you name it. If it flows, it will groove and it will forge ahead with or without your approval.

As educators, this is a daily occurrence. Every minute of the work day is about problem-solving, unlocking the brakes, paddling with the current. We are not a profession of stagnancy, but one of shuffling, swiveling and revitalizing.

Hard times ahead. Battle plans adjusting. Fortifications crumbled. We no longer have definitive troop coordinates. We no longer have tanks to knock down the walls. For they have been dismantled already. What we have is providence and planning. Not in  permanent ink but in #2, full eraser and outlook open.

We as teachers can outlast contact with the enemy; uncertainty, changing routines, altering expectations. We can outlast because we have the endurance. We can outlast because we listen with intent, we invent, we observe, We collaborate. 

We propose and arrange. We layout and strategize. We see patterns, We have tactics and methods- well tested. We mobilize and conquer those obstacles that lie in our path. We unite in one goal- education of our children. We unite with one intention- growth. We unite in one grace- believe in our students, hear them, and make sure we do what is best for them.

We also unit in a common wisdom. Take care of yourself first- then and only then can you prepare for battle. Then and only then can you be your best for them. strength and resiliency comes from a healthy mind and outlook. A healthy body and spirit. 

Balance is our defense. Collaboration is our battle plan. Expect setbacks, defeats. But prepare for the extended skirmish. This school year is going to be full of advancements and withdrawals. Deep breath, envision the troop movement, the fortification and enter. It's going to take all of your resiliency. All of your patience. All of your positivity and forethought.

Advance.

Just a PLC, Uncertain Plans, Unanchored Minds (210)

It is difficult to plan lessons when you do not know the format, schedule, or expectations. When you are hearing some rumors, getting some facts and trying to process reality. Hybrid, virtual, in class- so many templates for the upcoming year. You can think big picture, but the details need to stay fluid.

The pacing guide will alter, the way we do activities will change on a dime- are we teaching synchronous or asynchronous? Are we going to be on Zoom for individual class periods, or will we combine them into one? Will we be on Zoom for full class periods, or for just parts of the class period and then allowing for students to work independently for part of the class.

Are we expected to give homework? Just classwork? So many questions.

We were trying to plan as a team today and we kept getting cornered into the same question- will this be synchronous or asynchronous? Will we be using Zoom or a different form of on-line, visual software?

All we can do is create a basic scaffold, get to know one another and leave the rest for when we get more information. As teachers this is hard to do, because we want to plan and coordinate. We feel unanchored and it sucks. But at least we got to spend some time just reconnecting. Which is the beginning of the beginning.

Target Pivot, Goal Stationary: Release the Arrow (206)

Round red circles. Surrounded by concentric white. Expanding outward, scale increasing. It sits in the distance, sturdy in appearance. Yet, it shifts. Distancing then closing in. Blurring at times. Yet its presence is constant. An indelible reminder of our upcoming aim.

The one constant in a sea of variables- children will be taught. Teachers will continue to do their jobs. School in some fashion will continue. Behind, the mark- a menacing face of chaos, a mural of rules and decisions. Fears, anxieties. Voices far and wide converging. Yet, educators will enter.

Response, restraint, contingency and uncertainty. Vertical and horizontal perambulation. Those distant- sending their arrows in a single direction- ours. Their quivers emptying. A flash of reasoning clarified. A wave of dissent and relief. Arrows flying, this way and that.

There is nothing to do but to do it. To lean into the situation. It outwardly has a certain mosey to it, a ramble and roaming quality. While those of us in the fold, are running in place. Eager yet told to remain at the beginning.

This is not a race but a pace. Its not a competitive but communal. Yet we stand at the starting gate of what feels like the marathon of our careers.

So many voices, all have a say in the decision process- but in the decision making itself, just a few. Infectious enthusiasm, contagious negativism. Honey pot and decoys. Claims of "past their due date, not necessary, not essential".

Discerning, concerning, saddened. I sweat in the heat of contention. A giant numbered bib affixed to my shirt. Another runner in the race. I must run the track in order to get to the archery. I have a quiver of ideas waiting for me there. 

But first, I have to wait for the air horn.

The signaler keeps moving.

The target is only visible after the route has been set. After the trek has been trekked.  So, I keep listening for the signal.

Last night- the long honk bellowed. Local races began. Yet, it started slow, with hesitation- runners started with a walk. Unsure of how to speed up into a run.

Creativity often creates new things from limitations. The baby steps become leaps once we learn to walk in the sand. Once the pavement solidifies, we begin to jog, then run to our destination. Slowly we begin to remember the task ahead.

Virtual, push back, anger, relief. So much information swirling. So many voices yelling- “Keep going, you are almost there.” While others are screaming, “Why are you running this race? Is it still important?” To me yes it is. Knowing a start date is only the beginning.

A curve, a bend, ignoring the negativity. Especially from those who are not in the field- who think they know how we feel, our intentions, our reason, our deep love for our profession. Striding past those who recognize our plight, who support and admire us.

There it is, at the end of a grassy field. The wooden bullseye, the mark, the coordinated point of purpose. Exhausted, runners arrive. Shaking of the sweat and energy from the race. They grab their awaiting quivers. They take their places. They take aim, they clear their minds. They close one eye.

They raise their arrows- they imagine their classrooms, visualize their lessons, remember their goals and intentions. They pause, they see their target, and they release their arrows.

Target acquired.

Look can you see the shadow? The sheer volume of arrows all heading in one direction. All aimed, all focused. 

Can you hear the wind, crisp and commanding? Giving our arrows lift and thrust.

That is the communal, consistent voice of reason. The dedication and motivation of every educator out there. No matter what forum, we will be present, we will be ready, our arrows are aloft.

The Gathering Swarm: The Sweet Nectar of Deindividuation (203)

“All persons ought to endeavor to follow what is right, and not what is established.”

― Aristotle

“From one dog all the dogs bark.”
― Marty Rubin

Let me start by saying one thing- a storm is brewing, the static electricity is standing my hair up, I have goose bumps everywhere. You can feel it, too right? The rumble of antagonism. I do not mean rebellion, causes and protest. I mean deliberate deprecation, depravity, a malignant mob mentality. I just watch Twitter feeds, Facebook feeds. I am horrified sometimes at the sheer merciless rancor that people are bolting out into the universe. The unpurposeful words of just cruelty for no other reason to spread negativity.

Remember when flash mobs were a happy thing: singing and dancing. Now they can be destructive forces, aimed with spitefulness, venom and cruelty. Although, there are some festive, upbeat ones still out there. I mean there are mobs, a word I use with negative connotation- out there. Mass to me has a positive connotation. A mass of protesters versus a mob of negative speech.

The Internet is both savior and destroyer of worlds. It can lift and then slam into the ground with such force- its winds are forever changing with one post, one thread, one horde. I shudder and quiver sometimes at what I read. The senseless gathering of callous cries of hatred. But, in its defense (as if the Internet needs a defense) there are a lot of positive bubble spreaders too. Thank goodness.

It has always been here. The despot enraged infection of hopelessness. Fear amplifying hesitation into a murmur of resentment and gripe. But recently, after Covid-19 and social distancing, there is an utterance- dark and ominous, that is beginning to silence the voices of reason. It is terrifying and many people are choosing to remain quiet, rather than face the consequences of the hive, the swarm, the killer mass of deindividuation. Once you lose yourself to the throng- you feel very justified, in taking on its odious message.

Deindividuation is the concept in social psychology that states that when in a large group, you tend to lose self-awareness, you forget your restraint and get so caught up in the fervor - you become another bee in the hive. The sweet nectar of anonymity somehow frees sensibilities and allows one to say things, they otherwise would not. This is a matter of contention in many circles- but I have witnessed it. I have watched as people I follow on Twitter and Facebook become negative and derisive.

The swarm behaves as the Queen intends. The first post. The initial utterance of dominion. If the words are convincing, true, or not, they ignite a burst of negativity, leaving a gaping scorch in its wake. This mark of might, may stay local or may expand outward, gathering a larger depression, a more destructive force. It changes outcomes. It shifts power. It puts fear into the hearts of many. This hive, this mob, this swarm- is gathering its pollen.

Its energy is mounting and anyone in its blast radius beware. Turn on your television and look at Portland, Oregon. Listen to speeches. Watch the aftermath. Now protest to speak out for freedom and equality- and against discrimination, prejudice and hate- is a good thing. That is what is happening in so many places right now. But, the 'mob' I am talking about are those spreading hate and cruelty without an agenda. Just to be mean. Sometimes purposeful violence is necessary to spark change.

I know it is safer to remain behind the barricade. Clear of the subversion. I will admit, I tend to blockade myself as well. But, voices of negativity- the mob modulation can be disrupted. If we post and share positive messages, stay on topic (protests are a good thing- speaking up for those in need is powerful) and pause before we speak, refuse to follow those spewing hate speech, counter the deprecation with level-headed, well thought out messages of hope- maybe we can slow their path. They have a strong footing and we need to stop their advance.

It is one thing to be angry, we all get angry. We all have felt slighted, misrepresented, attacked, and forgotten. But we have to channel this into hopeful grace. Hope might seem lost, it might seem only available to them. But hope can not be hoarded. It is energy itself and it travels far and wide. We just have to allow it to find us. We have to channel it.

Grace is in every one of us- it is the power of forethought, the understanding of others’ emotions yet, remaining steadfast in our own mindfulness and positivity. Positivity is not a myth. It is a powerful tool. We have to look for opportunities to grow, not retreat into a bubble, of sweet nectar the hive of foreboding and malevolence wants us to.

We have to maintain a swarm of our own. A structure not of blind obedience, deindividuation, and shame. But a gathering of minds both eager for change and transformation. A convocation of wisdom. A caucus of positive outlook. We can not revolutionize and reconstruct if our focus is on the mob. We have to pinpoint our energy on the goal- progress and betterment.

The gathering swarm is upon us, buzzing, stinging, making us run indoors. While they control the narrative at times. Let’s not let them, win. Let’s make sure the productive protests make their mark. That voices are heard. Let’s din the destructive discourse by ignoring it, not making it national news. Instead, let’s amplify the grace, the hope, the voice of reason.

This is our repellant. This is our flyswatter. This is our bee-keeper suit. Let every voice be heard, even if you dislike its message- that is freedom itself. But squash the feeds of filth and hate. Spread a different sweet nectar- one of common sense and facts. This my friends will even the playing field.

The Game is Afoot: Shuffle, Fold and Deal (201)

4 suits, 2 colors, numbers, and faces. Ace high, or low? Bicycle, Tally-Ho, Hoyle or Maverick. Gambling or entertainment. Tall houses or hands of fate- these rectangular badges of game and risk are not even uniform in size. Poker are 63mm x 88mm, Bridge are 56mm x 88mm, and large are 89mm x 146mm approximately. Purpose decides size and flexibility.

"Pick a card any card," a magician’s favorite tool. A green table of chips and bets will lure in most passersby at a casino. Cards have been around for an exceptionally long time. At first, when you break the seal- they slide out all slick and shiny. It is a struggle to shuffle, for they slip and frictionless wiggle to the floor.

They need to be broken in, used, and dealt. Held and placed. They gain ease of use with age. Yet in a casino they are replaced frequently to maintain the gloss and sheen of attraction and finance. For they need to look lucky.

They need to inspire a wager. These fiberboard, odds playing entities have been used to earn and lose, play War and Gin Rummy. Old Maid and Goldfish. Poker and Blackjack.

They are buried in cabinets, drawers, and steamer trunks. Their faces are likenesses of famous, dreadful, and funny, wanted, and revered, and characters of every story imaginable, fact or fiction. But the standard decks, 2 Jokers and 52, remain the industry and public choice of play.

I mean, I just now went through my house and we have ten decks all different brands, some blue, some red. Some Simpson’s, Disney, and Marvel. Endless choices.

We pull one from the deck to try to impress, we deal a perfect hand of Poker. We even play Uno and other card games- each with their own deck, colorful and alluring. Cards offer so much, play or build. A House of Cards might be fragile, but it is fun to design and it takes a lot of focus to maintain.

Children learn how to hold cards in their hand incredibly early. In a fan design, to see all the cards. Even with small hands they learn to sort and place in piles if necessary. We recognize the difference between suits, numerical order, organizing by face value: Jack, Queen, then King.

We play games based on each of these delineations. A deck of cards and a bored mind can lead to distraction. Hand your child a deck in the car, they are quiet and entertained for a bit. The act of sorting and organizing takes awhile and it is calming.

We shuffle, we fold the two halves together- by doing the bridge or sliding them together. We deal them out, each a random assortment, probability, and a hint of excitement. We fan them in our hands, gazing upon them, some with a tell, others without.

And when our hand is over, we shuffle and offer a new fate, a new chance at redemption, a new chance at retrieval of our wages. We continue this over and over, throughout a game. 

It does not matter which one- the process is universal. Like any game, we are often at the mercy of the cards. Unfortunately, there are cheaters, card counters and tricksters. We know this going in.

We are at their mercy. But many get caught, even thrown out of the game. We just need to keep a vigilant eye. We can choose to walk past the table, never play our chips, never enter the casino. We can draw on 17. We can fold when we are in doubt. We can choose not to challenge fate, for our house of cards might tumble.

Or we can choose to double down.

A simple deck of 54, tickets. Each voucher, depending on the game a different outcome. Each blind, each draw, each penny ante- creates our reality. Bridges, canasta’s, poker’s, and pinochles. Each route a different opportunity. Each deck a mosaic of chance, choice, shuffle, deal, fold.

Right now- as educators, we are not the dealer. We are a player, at an exceptionally large table. Chips stacking, toppling, and shifting positions. We have to stay in play though. Maybe sit out a round or two- but we need to stay at the pulpit. Cards in hand. Eyes vigilant.

The deck might feel as if it stacked against us- that the house always wins. That the dealer doesn’t have to hit on 17. But they do. The odds might seem not in our favor- and for the most part they aren’t. 

The house eventually will lose a round or two. But as with every system- "they are designed to get the result they want." But we can turn the odds against them. We are a part of the system, we do have a trick up our sleeves. 

We need to make a great bet. Keep our wits about us, show them our tell. Our tell is our educational philosophy, our dedication, our belief in making a difference. Our students are counting on us. 

So raise your hand, take a look at your cards- and strategize. You know how to play this game, in fact, you are great at it. See you at the table.

Down the Rabbit Hole, Into the Rut (200)

I have been writing for 200 days. Daily posts. Some about education, some daily life. Most about some combination of the two. Some things that impact both like- mindfulness, mental health, and memories. Writing is important. It is a skip down the 'yellow brick road,' a magic carpet ride, a glimpse into a crystal ball and a fall down a rabbit hole. It opens my mind to new possibilities and enhances my clarity and mindset.

A journey of this sort also, on occasion leads me down the rabbit hole. I mean is that bad? Alice takes makes the trip and she ends up at a pretty cool tea party. Then a scary chess board. But then having a jazzy conversation with a phase changing cat on a mushroom. It was a revealing cascade of sorts. Its amazing what a good day dream under a tree can evoke. Imagination and creativity is everything.

It is one thing to have imagination. Another to have creativity. But doing something productive with it- that is the story. That is the characters coming to life, the design and implementation of new strategies into your brain. Seeing setbacks as opportunities- I mean Alice did. She drank the potion, she committed. The white rabbit was her yearning for something more fulfilling. It was the key that unlocked her way of thinking.

You can get trapped though, think too many thoughts. Feel like you are chasing the white whale, the white rabbit- and yet just keep rowing in circles. I often try to do so much, I simply shut down. I fell hard down the rabbit hole this week. I just sat at the mad hatters' tea party and watched the action. I just felt bruised and battered from the tumble. So I sat, silent, restless, yet stationary among the checkered, splashing tea cups, full of the reality of exhaustion.

Uncertainty is the Queen of Hearts. "Off with her head!" I feel like I am running through the orchard of red heart fruit trees- each trying to grab a foot. Giant cards of heart soldiers, weapons drawn trying to catch me in my plight. Sometimes you just need to hide behind a bush, sit and wait it out. Not try to escape- that is impossible, but wait it out. Wait till the face cards of doom pass. Eventually they will give up the search and you can reenter wonderland.

I did for a few days. It feels a bit safer now. Still chaotic and mysterious. Yet, hopeful. I chose the drop, the chase and the wait. Now I am emerging from the hole- seeking a tree to take respite. Another white rabbit will pass soon I am sure. For now, a good book, a cup of coffee and acceptance and awareness. A mindful journey into the world of imagination, curiosity and a few more weeks before it all begins again.

A Few of My New Favorite Virtual Learning Hacks (198)

Been taking lots of professional development courses- some Zoom style, some self-paced. I am learning a lot of cool tricks. Here are a few of my favorite.

1- https://youtube-clutter.org/  a way to trim educational videos so you can embed them into your platform and use as thumb nail clips in on-line quizzes/assessments.

2- Flipgrid for the classroom - so students can share their podcasts, videos's etc. Easy to get a great collaborative feed going for your classroom so they can reflect and provide feedback to one another in real time.

3- Gizmo's and Phet for simulations and virtual labs.

4- Master view on google slides- lets you fix items in place so when students interact they can only use certain text boxes to respond in. This is good for card sorts etc.

5-Virtual Graffiti talk on Zoom. Share a link to a live interactive slide- have students share their thought live on Zoom. Make sure they use a text box and not type onto the slide or they get messy.

6-Google emoji's search to add emoji's in virtual graphic organizers and card sorts.

7-Annotate pro. To use with speed graders. Just check it out. It creates feedback message buttons to stream line your student communication.

Classroom Distraction: 50 Minutes in a Dyslexic/ADD Brain: A Reflection on Concentration (196)

Concentration Varies 

We have classrooms filled with students, some have IEP's, 504's, RTI's. Some are serviced under the special education heading, others gifted, twice exceptional (2e). Some are not diagnosed but have learning disabilities. Some have SEL, behavioral disabilities. Most however, will not have a diagnosis of any learning or behavioral disability. They will be what educators refer to as, 'mainstream'.

So we have paperwork with accommodations to follow. We have parental concerns, discussions with their other teachers: about their progress and/or difficulties. We sometimes have so much data on certain students, that the 'mainstream,' students get placed into an automatic pilot plan. We check in, we talk to them, we rely on them to make things go smoothly, when our attention is focused on one of our students who needs extra help.

What is going through the minds of students? Through the minds of students we believe are following directions, and completing tasks without any difficulty. They might be able to focus a little better, but trust me they are mentally distracted, hungry, desperate for attention. They just cover it up better. They just have coping mechanisms other students might not possess.

As one student told me-" They have the ability to close off their peripheral vision, they can tunnel, so they don't see another student misbehave or stare at the clock. They can focus because they have the ability to tune things out." As opposed to students who suffer from attention disorders or learning disabilities- every hum, hiccup and hubbub is amplified, it redirects their concentration.

I have Dyslexia and ADD. I have learned over my lifetime to compensate for the distractions. I have taught myself to slow down and read words in a certain way in order to make sense the first time. I have eased into a rhythm of see, do. But even I get distracted and side wind myself all over the place in a 50 minute (average class period).

So I wanted to do experiment. Reflect frequently on what I was thinking about every minute as I attended an on-line PD course. The instructor lectured, had us do mini lessons and then finished with a review and collaborative chat. Much like a typical class period for most of us. Chunking, I thought would keep me more focused. Nope.

Professional Development Dissected

Minutes 1-5- I listened, comprehended what she said. She talked kind of fast. I jotted down some words/notes. I found it hard to really focus. She was on screen. If it had been in person, probably wouldn't have been much better. The cadence of her voice was distracting for me.

I wonder if my voice distracts some students. If I talk too fast?

Minutes 6-10- We were asked to draw on a piece of paper a diagram of the topic.  We could use colored pencils or highlighters. We were not given specific directions. Just a draw an example of... She said we had 4 minutes to complete. I spent the first deciding what to draw. Then drew it, colored it. Didn't like it. Drew another one. She kept interrupting asking if anyone had questions. This distracted me. I finished but I spent more time figuring out how to draw it, then on what I was expected to draw. The purpose and reason for the activity.

I think the talking was distracting. For a Dyslexic brain we need quiet to process. My ADD brain needed more concise directions and alas...purpose. I felt pulled away from the activity. Distracted. It lost its meaning. I am sure students feel the same sometimes. I have to learn to pause for the silence.

Minutes 11-30- We were given an article to read. We were asked to highlight certain portions and make comments in the margins about what we learned. Basically annotating. She assumed we knew how to do this, we were teachers. The article was long and very dry. I read two pages, annotated, then tried to move on, but I got distracted. I got bored because the article wasn't meaningful to me. It felt like busy work. But, eventually I got through it by skimming. Made some notes. Then started doodling for the last 5 minutes.

This really got me thinking of articles in class and the importance of length, purpose and reading level. The article she had us read was not challenging, it was long and it went into way too much detail. It was heavy. I like to read, but this was not my jam. I couldn't tell you anything I read in the article because it wasn't relevant to my teaching, my way of thinking, or interesting to me. So basically it was not purposeful, so why read it?

Minutes 31-45- We came back as a group and started sharing our ideas. In a large group at first. I didn't pay attention really. Too many voices coming at me. I shut them out, because my Dyslexic brain got overloaded. I already tuned out the article. When she asked me to share- I read one thing I wrote in the margin. The only thing that stuck with me.

She said that's interesting, made a quick comment then moved on. I felt like- why did I read this when it feels like my opinion doesn't really matter? In her defense 30 people on Zoom, does lead to a certain pace. But with distance learning this is something to keep in mind.

This activity made me reflect on how we have class discussions. My students do breakout and talk in smaller groups but- as we know they get distracted here too. Is it worth giving them a long article? or is an abridged version better. Maybe just highlights would spark more meaningful conversations- and less time doodling and not really reading the article.

Minutes 46-50- The last four minutes she summed up what we had read. I was thinking to myself couldn't you have just done that? Then she gave us resources of where we could find more articles- no thank you. I would have preferred a quick tutorial rather than an article and discussion where I felt a disconnect.

Do students feel this way? Is there a better way? They do need to read articles but do they need to read the whole thing- can they just read passages? Can we do better than just annotating? That is tedious. It is hard for a Dyslexic or ADD brain to keep focused. There has to be better ways to teach on-line. Let's find them.

Now What

So after I finished the course. I spent a good ten minutes looking over my notes I took throughout. This is what I used to write this post. Distance/Virtual Learning in some capacity is coming. We have to make sure we don't just cookie cutter in an article/discussion format. We have to think beyond card sorts and drawing organizers. We have to go big or literally- kids at home will go home. They will not stay with us in our virtual spaces.

I am working this though in my head. My Dyslexic and ADD head. What do I need from an online course? How can I make sure my students are getting what they need in a virtual classroom. I am creating new lessons and as they flesh themselves out and become tangible on paper- I will start sharing them. But, with my distracted, overwhelmed, overtaxed mind- be patient. I'll get there, I promise.

The Life of an Educator- Concentration, Fragmentation: Contradictory Action (193)

Fragments and Morsels

We are fragmented into so many aspects of ourselves. Roles, relationships, responsibilities. Perspective, personality, purpose. Want, need, denial. Listening side, observing side, assembling side.

Each of our fragments are scattered about. Some days we find the writing, teacher, transformation pieces. Other days our need, quiet reflection, isolation pieces appear. Each particle, like an atom of ourselves, fit together to make us whole.

But we also carry with us, slivers, and grains of such deep emotion that they stay attached to us every day. We wake up and feel them poking into our sides. We stir to possibility and feel them taking shape and clinging to us, as if we just exited the ocean.

Some like granules of sand, buff against our already cold skin. They are reminders, dictations, and jarring clarity- we so desperately are trying to shed. Yet these little morsels stick. They leave marks and pocks our flesh incorporates into itself. Students, teachers, and everyone in every situation across the globes, have these crumbs of pandemic perspective fastened to their psyche.

Concentration Abides

We concentrate, we focus. We accomplish and master. We pivot and adapt. We smile, laugh, and live for moments with those we love. We cry and shiver under the blankets at night- searching for something we do not know how to find.

We turn our imaginations up a notch- overloading our senses. We dream, idealize, see the good in people. Yet, that edge, that sharpness of anxiety remains. We can shake like a dog after a bath- we can dry off with a beach towel- but the miniscule accumulation attaches. Itchy and irritating.

So many contradictory voices, motions, ideas, feelings- they are all struggling for control. Our compasses are spinning. Our binoculars are out of focus. Yet, we keep travelling, searching, taking adventures.

It is engrained in us, this concentration and fragmentation. We are in flux, imploding and exploding, like a giant collision and expansion. We can be irrational, but we can also be so compassionate, empathetic and we are not stagnated beings, we are explorers and rebels.

Lenses Shiny, Social Dimming

When we are given the choice, those of us who have accepted the position to advocate and accept the responsibility of education- we stand heads held high- even when we are in a moment of uncertainty. We have a moment of panic, we vent- but we stay resolved to our path.

We know that even with the pandemic, students need us. Learning needs to, as it has always been, be the center of a child’s life. We must make sure they have an opportunity to go to school. Distance or in person- either way, it has to be equitable and meaningful.

Before and after. This is the event- the cycle- the shatter, that scattered.

My son said yesterday “I am lucky enough to have been in the last graduating class of the before-group. Most of my friends are in the first after-group.” This struck me deeply. I asked him what that truly meant to him.

He replied “I got to have four years of ‘sameness’ of how it has always been. I guess I didn’t have to think about the after. If things would not be the same as they have always been. I had the image of school we all see in movies and television- the social gathering and learning place.”

What does that mean, I asked? “We go to school, play sports, hang out with my friends. Now most of my friends have to go to their first year of college at home. The social aspect of school is gone. The socialization that school was designed to provide seems to be going away. It’s sad.” He shook his head. “I guess I was lucky.”

Sad indeed.

The handshakes, hugs and fist bumps might just be a thing of the past. Fragments of yesterday, scattered to the wind. Seeing each other’s faces, watching each other smile. That connection of facial recognition will be hidden behind a mask.

Sitting in groups, collaborating side by side, one-minute check-ins at my desk, my makerspace sharing corner, our collaborative graffiti wall, all have to become something else.

The lunchroom shuffle becomes classroom eating areas. Staggered class changes and locker breaks. Bathroom restrictions. No more beautification in the mirror with a gaggle of friends. So many ways school will no longer be a social arena.

The After

It is going to be so important for educators, to make sure to continue to safely provide interaction and community building activities. Teacher and student relationships need to strengthen and yes, pivot- but they need to continue to be the focus- for what students are going to need now is familiarity within the fluctuating and altering routines of school. They need it to feel like school. They need it to feel comfortable and safe.

Teachers need it to feel comfortable and safe too.

If teachers want to teach on-line, then they should be able too. If teachers want to be in their classrooms, they should be able too. Parents should have a choice too. These choices, these fragments of the educational system need our focus and acceptance.

Then the learning aspect of school will unfold, and lessons will transform, and activities will provide those ever-needed concentration moments- the opportunities for community and reassembling of an after, that in many ways resembles a before- but with the necessary upgrades.

The Role Playing is Still Afoot

Things are in the afterburn, the afterglow, the fuzzy combination of opinion, decisions, and circumstances. Some schools will be able to open their doors, others will choose to distance and teach virtually. Many will combine the two. The higher ups will decide.

It is a frozen fragment at this moment, a stop in the rhythm- like in the Matrix, we are slowly dodging incoming- we hear the synthesized music, see the trails as we spin in the air. We feel not quite in control, at the mercy of gravity.

We are not NPC’s in our world. We are character’s, we are storytellers, we are shaping the action, interactions, and choices of our guild. We have to remember that we know where most of the fragments are. We just have to collect them.

The only problem is right now- we are at the mercy of the DM, the dungeon masters of our profession. They are sitting behind their screens, rolling their dice, hedging their bets. AND we as players in this adventure, are awaiting our fate. Yet, we remain at the table, for we know what ever unfolds next, will be worth it.

The Element of.... (192)

The element of surprise. Some of us love the unexpected- like a gift or visit. We appreciate the time it took for our friends and loved ones to plan the unforeseen. Others of us loathe leaving things to chance. We need structure. And, during this time of uncertainty everyone is feeling apprehension and anxiety. Everyone is coming up with strategies that work for them, tools to calm, focus and engage.

The element of disguise. We all hide our emotions and vulnerabilities sometimes. We want to appear strong and in control. We do not want others to see us waiver or buckle under the pressure. But there is a lot of pressure these days. There is a lot of reasons to be frustrated, saddened, anxious and vulnerable. But, a huge hurdle we need to overcome is- we have to share our vulnerabilities. We have to be brave enough to ask for help.

The element of curiosity. Curiosity guides us, lures us in to conversations. It gets us listening to podcasts, watching the news, reading articles and books. This is so powerful right now. We are all trying to find our place in the movement, feel comfortable sharing our thoughts in a safe venue, we all want to be our best selves and help others find their best selves.

The element of control. There is a loss of control. Freedom of mobility is hindered. We are barricaded behind a virus, unrelenting. We are protecting and isolating. We feel trapped at times, alone and this can lead to depression. We are sequestered away from our loved ones. Travel is prohibited or not recommended. This is the event, the 'boom' that led to the before and after.

The element of strength. This is a physical pandemic but also a mental one. We need to remain strong and fortified in our movement of equality, our movement of equity, our movement of humanity. We need to remain strong in our sense of purpose- our role in society. How we need to be good role models for our children. Wear a mask, show them it is for a reason. Have conversations- not just to explain away, but to enhance and clarify the procedures. To give children a sense of self and purpose.

Sit in the discomfort. The element of discomfort is necessary.

Change comes from discomfort. Movements and rebellions stem from acceptance of a flawed system, an injustice not just occurring but acknowledged. They come from action. Voice. The masses unifying. Like the virus it needs to be contagious, far reaching, life altering- it needs to spread through positivity however- not fear.

The element of a new abnormal is upon us. Atoms of future, bouncing off of one another, colliding and causing shifts. We are within the collider now- there is no going back. The element of surprise is upon us- we just need to listen and act mindfully and we will form the new foundation for our new beginning.

What Have You Failed at This Week? (190)

High five for walking towards what you are afraid of. Taking the next step on a path that was marred with an avalanche of doubt. Congratulations on not being deterred from what you felt might not work out as you planned. Be afraid of not doing- be not afraid of the outcome. The more you are brave- the more opportunities seem to appear before you. They find you after all.

I hope this week you manifested an idea. You saw a problem and decided to conquer it. You made the choice not to talk about the issue, not to add fire to the conflict, but to take action. You are amazing because you asked yourself- what can I do to work the problem? How can I network and organize an action plan.

You are a beautiful spirit, you live a true life, one in which you make positive choices. You are brutally honest with yourself: you reflect, you take stock in your situation, is it one of your choosing or can you change it? You are strong, motivated and resilient- you do not deny yourself the journey. When we look for the detour- our opportunities expand.

You are not in awe- you are awe. You are awe inspiring, every day you seek the new, the uninitiated moments of growth. You are daily unfolding yourself into a designation of your choosing- you have a sense of self both beautiful and inspiring. You let your flaws shine like battle scars. You are a mentor and a voice of reason.

Failure comes in small packages, a stumble, a skinned knee. You heal quickly from experience and vigor. Sometimes missteps become setbacks and collisions become wrecks. But you shrug off the damage- because you can see the damage repair. You look forward to knocking out the dents. It brings focus and calm.

This week what have you failed at? What situations did not go as planned? How did you bounce back? You pivoted and readjusted, didn't you? Of course you did- you are awesome. You believe in yourself and because of that- you shake, rattle and roll- and that makes life exciting.

Don't Just Remember the Lyrics, Write Your Own (189)

Part of you lives in there, your home away from home- your classroom. The teacher's place. Connections are forged, enhanced, illuminated. Little moments are frozen in time, lingering in the air, gentle reminders of past meets present, semblance and synergy.

This zone is busy, bustling with an energy so recognizable it is like the air we breathe. That is why we love it. Comedians want the laugh, dramatic actors want the tear, the empathy and teachers we want the aha! The buzzing sound as the light flickers on. This is our pause, applause, cause.

What we do requires a click. Not only flickering on the comprehension, but also a thread clicking into place. A cord strengthened by eye contact and smiles- fortified by kindness and love, that together knot into the web, of a classroom community. This is our pause, applause, cause.

We tickle the truth, skirt misconception- sometimes we trip over miscommunication and wind up detouring back to recognition. We are in mini-orbits, bubbles of conversation and guidance. It is a beautiful thing to be a part of. We daily drink it all in, taste it. Feel its brisk, smooth texture. This is our pause, applause, cause.

There is a campus of my personality- in our learning forum. We can see for miles and miles. Corresponding divergence. Deliberate and consistent flow. We learn to expect the unexpected. We don't stop to complain, we don't have time. We assess the situation and keep moving forward. We pivot.

We know the only way to chart and fix a vulnerability, cease a misconception, is to expose it first. So we do. We ask lots of questions, we listen, we observe. We bridge gaps, we paint the big picture and leave the dotted lines free for students to shift and redirect. Its difficult to do because exposure means vulnerability- but we take our time. We let our students drink in new information, settle into it, own it. This is our pause, applause, cause.

As we shift into a new abnormal- a unsettled situation, we must breathe- just breathe. Let it sink in. Recognize our vulnerability. Accept our lack of decision making and focus on the choices we do have. We need not to just remember the lyrics of their songs, but write our own. We will be on the front lines as we have always been, but now with added defenses. Now with necessary counter-measures.

I am nervous about going back- but my classroom is my home away from home and I feel the need to defend it. My classroom is my arena, my circus tent, my beach front property. I want to stand on the shores and watch the waves of energy flow, appreciate the current as it stirs inquiry and curiosity. Entertain and intrigue my students. I want to be back in my classroom, yes with some social distancing and precautions- but there nonetheless.

For now, I am listening to their lyrics, tapping my foot to their tune- but soon hopefully, I can start writing my own lyrics and melodies- my own chorus. I can hear the strum of the guitar- just waiting for the pause, applause, cause- for my arena to open to the public once again.

Brick by Brick: Why Parents are Going to be Key to Distance Learning (186)

The Truth is, No One Knows 

Every time I read an article about what is to come for education in the fall, I feel more unsettled. There are no definitive answers. States have mandates, districts have requirements, parents have hesitations. Teachers have reluctancy, but a strong pull towards their classrooms. Educators did not enter the profession to be behind a computer screen. 

We see our classrooms as our second homes, and we have been missing them dearly.

There are many articles on why we should distance. More on why we need students back in school. There are studies on the effects of missing school, the results of a deficit- of a gap, in learning. There are more on the loss of social interaction, peer collaboration and active learning. We are at the precipice, looking downward at the vast quagmire- one where other people are making the decisions. We are at their mercy.

I have heard and read many stories of teachers retiring early or plain quitting from uncertainty and fear. I have spoken to parents and while most want their children back in a classroom, many want to keep them home- but do not have the time to monitor them, as they traverse the on-line distancing path. 

The Bridge Needs to be Built

Parents I spoke to, expect teachers to be available to conference call 24/7. That believe they can have their children learn from home and not have to participate in the routine, of their school day. (Yes, this was a response of many I spoke to). I was a little dismayed to say the least. We are good at what we do, but we are not all knowing and we will need parents to help if distance learning is going to succeed.

My response to all of the parents I spoke to- there are many things teachers do to foster independence, self-advocacy and to engage and motivate students in the classroom. Not all of our strategies will translate into distance learning, however. We will need parents help to implement new ones- because a child home learning will need another layer of support- in person, face to face contact, that if they are home, we cannot provide.

We can provide an open dialogue, technology support, mindfulness and SEL discussions. We can provide hands-on learning with supplies we can send home in advance. We can create lessons that go beyond computer screens. We can engage them with video clips, web quests and articles of substance. We can get them writing blogs and creating podcasts.

We can integrate math, science, art, engineering, history, and culture. We can be present on screen for them to have meaningful conversations with. We can give them frequent feedback. We can be listeners and observers. We can ask for them to step outside their comfort zones and try new things. We can give them choice. Let them demonstrate their knowledge in a myriad of ways. We can be their mentor, coach, and guide.

But if they are learning from home- this will look different. We will be working from confines of distancing, both physical and social. 

Brick by Brick

We as educators will transform our classrooms to include Zoom and other web-based communications systems. We will keep a connection with every student, talk to them, ask them questions, build a community of learners where they feel safe and comfortable to push the boundaries. But it will be different. It will feel different. 

But we will work harder to make sure it is successful. Because that is what we do.

But we cannot do it alone. If we do not have the support of parents, this will not be successful. If we do not guarantee a device and access to the Internet- the system will fail. If students are only monitored on one end, many will fall through the cracks and we will lose their attention and motivation. Their engagement requires contact and if they are roaming gnomes rather than focused learners- the system will fail.

This is why moving forward if hybrid or full distance learning is adopted- parents have to take a more active role. Teachers are constantly planning, grading, giving feedback, talking one on one, talking to the class as a whole, planning more, creating reinforcement, enrichment, and reteaching activities. We are attending faculty meetings, grade level meetings, team meetings and parent/teacher conferences. We are juggling many things at the same time- while parenting ourselves.

Above All Else, Embrace for Turbulence

I do not know what my district will do. I know we will have some form of hybrid. Some in school days and others stay at home days. Class sizes have to be 50% capacity, so that means a split of classes at home and in school. But we cannot be in both places at once. So, how is that going to work? How can we keep the level of attention with half of our students a day being at home and half in our classrooms?

So many questions. Concerns, fears and reluctancies.

Every teachers comfort level is different. Every teacher has their own fears and reluctancy. But for me, I want to be in the classroom, connecting with students, seeing them every day. Using my makerspace, tinkering, and designing. 

Being way more digits- hands on, than digital- as I have been in the past. Taking the personal- videos, reading, writing, and having that be done at home, while the active learning labs and lessons be in person. We need a balance. I need that balance.

I hope that a balance can be found. 

A balance where students and teachers are safe but are learning and building a community. Where parents are along side us in many aspects, more so than in the past. Because at home learning needs support at home, as well as from teachers. 

Education is all about community, peer interaction, and student relationships. Parent and teacher relationships, teacher and student relationships and student to student relationships.

These deep, indelible relationships begin and are forged within a classroom setting. I just hope we get to have them, that is why we entered the profession in the first place. It is the reason we stay. It is why I will stay. 

Everyone will decide what is best for them. There will be options, thank goodness. 

Ten Things a First Year Teacher Should Know (185)

1- Be yourself. Always believe in yourself, go with your gut instinct. It will be your guide from day one. The moment you step in the classroom, it will be your gut that will show you the way. Trust it.

2- Everything you learned in teacher preparation is just the circle. The outline. The shape of your career. Everything within it comes from experience. Experience is coming. Relationships are forging. Your educator mindset is expanding. Welcome the new, its forth coming.

3- Find a mentor. In your building. On Twitter. Find a community who think like you. Bounce off ideas with them. Ask lots of questions. When I started teaching we didn't have Twitter. Now, 19 years in, it shapes me every day.

4-Respond not react. Simply put, deep breath and realize, they are not out to get you. They are children and children act out, speak out of turn and yes, misbehave. Go with the flow, it ebbs and wanes frequently.

5- Try new things. Never get 'set in your ways.' Strategies, tools and ideas are meant to be exchanged and upgraded. Tweaked and remain malleable. That is the essence of teaching, staying open-minded, growth-oriented and innovation.

6- Think about home-thinking rather than just homework. Give students something to think about and let them think about it. Sometimes we need to just think and talk things through at the dinner table, rather than being alone, nose in a book.

7-Cross-curricular assignments. Bring in STEAM, reading, writing and creative design into every subject. The more we make those big connections, the better students will too.

8- Relationships first. From love and kindness, wisdom will bloom. Listen, ask them questions and ask for student feedback. Building strong, trusting, respectful relationships is the most important part of teaching- hands down.

9- Reflect, a lot. I use Post-its around the classroom, a daily journal and blogging. Show yourself grace when a lesson goes badly and make sure you reflect in order to grow on a consistent basis.

10- Plan and design well. I am not a specifics planner but an out-liner. I change things a lot on the fly. But, I do have a check-list. I have a framework from which I teach. If I didn't, I would not be comfortable. Write plans that work for you. There are many organizers and lesson planners- choose the one you love, it means another level of comfortability.

Alright so 11, I have one more.

11- Its kind of a combination of a few of them. Always set high expectations. Always have high goals and aspirations. Set them for yourself and your students. Then be flexible. Adjust, pivot when ever necessary. Don't forge in stone plans, because there will be problems with technology, or pep rally's or a fire drill.

There will be days where you don't feel well. Where students don't feel well. Where the weather is gloomy, the air conditioner doesn't cool off the building. I could go on, but we all know uncertainty is in full force. Hybrid versus in class learning is inevitable for at least part of the year. So we have to plan for both.

We have to keep our eyes on the prize- teaching students. We have to be ourselves. Listen and ask for feedback. We have to trust our students and they will trust us in return. We need to be patient and show grace. We need to smile, yes and be funny and kind day one- not wait until after a few weeks to be 'cool.'

What we need to do is be consistent. Start with firm and friendly. Set a routine. Set high expectations. Smile. Make eye contact. Create a classroom for them, not just for you. Engagement comes when students feel safe to be themselves and that they are able to collaborate and have the freedom to choose demonstration of their knowledge.

As a new teacher, I struggled a lot because I had no mentor, I entered the classroom with teacher preparation knowledge and no experience (not really). But, when I found my teacher voice, my educator persona and I trusted myself, things changed. Above all else- know for sure in your mind, things will go wrong. Its how you cope with them that matters.

I am here. If you need a mentor to bounce ideas off of. I am here.