Waking Up and Smiling

 It's quiet. Only the air flowing through the ducts humming a calming sound. A gentle force, pinging and ponging on occasion but it is consistent with its flow. I sit in a dim classroom, my second home, or so it feels. Entering into a dark hallway in the morning, few teachers, it feels haunting some days, still, somber. That hour of transition from mom to teacher. I smile at these moments- reflecting on those positive moments that keep me coming here day after day.

There is a gap, a wedge that caused students to stumble and grasp on to the air for support. They haven't quite gotten their groove back. Even last year we had two weeks of Covid-related or weather related closures. It weighs heavy on them. Some still in Zoom mode and lacking the social skills to compensate. Some classes are full of those students who have just given up on behaving appropriately- laughing at the negative points on their roster. "I'm at 9" - "I'm only at 5" - they get ten before they are suspended or expelled.

Other students are silent- eerily quiet- hair pulled down covering their faces in an attempt to become invisible. I talk to them as much as I can. I've gotten them to work in pairs and interact with their peers. But they struggle as all students to find their flow, like the ducts in this once factory nor school veneer. These mornings that I feel positive are weening. I usually have more good than frustrating days but this term- for the first time in 21 years- more frustrating then good and its depressing. 

Luckily I do have two classes that are full of juniors and seniors- vibrant and funny. Engaged and dedicated. These lift me up. These keep me motivated to go up and beyond. So today I smile. I look forward to this next week bringing finals and closure to this term. I am hoping for a term more satisfying for my educational spirit. Every 22 days I changed students and course- it's got its positives and negatives- but today, today I smile because I got a good nights sleep and I found my flow- pings and pongs will occur- but I am open-minded and positive today.

Smiling.

Waking Up and Frowning

 Some days education just sucks. Over taxed you force yourself to go into a classroom where you feel underappreciated. Students not doing work (with little consequence) extensions given (required) and still missing assignments and failings. You try everything: incentives, engagement and class time allotted to complete. But, still those who will not engage on your most fulfilling lessons will not do assignments. They are disengaged and frustrated with life. Angsty teenagers. High school is vastly different than the middle school I am used too.

I feared they would be hypervigilant, concerned about every grade. For about half that is the case. But the other half are repeating classes and the second and third time around- still don't care.

I feel deflated after hours of prep and organization and these students still won't engage- still won't do work. I wake up with a frown some days. It takes all my strength not to switch professions. This is the first term in 21 years of teaching where I truly feel like giving up and moving on.

When you Stop to Think About Things....

There is a lot going on these days. A lot of conflict and tribalism. A lot of separation and finger pointing. It is amazing what you hear when you stop to listen. Most people are optimistic. If you sit in a restaurant you hear laughter and boisterous conversations. Most people seem jovial and just happy to be out and about. There is a certain comfort in being out and about. It feels like life is progressing. 

Most people are not wearing masks. Spending the weekend at Inn of the Mountain Gods in the forest of New Mexico - was very eye opening to me. It was loud in certain areas- mingling and upbeat conversations a buzz. There were quiet spots where people were gazing reflectively upon the lake, others where people were sitting in oversized chairs reading. It was a beautiful place to be. Boats or ziplining but also walks and horseback riding. 

I sat quietly a lot. There was a forest fire, 1 of 4 locally here- you could smell the smoke. It gave me pause. It made me think about the homes, wild life, nature succumbing to the flames. I have never seen so many deer. I counted 50 at one time- lingering about the grounds, fleeing the fire. A helicopter came to the lake throughout the day filling a basket with water and then dropping it on the fire. It was a juxtaposition of loud and quiet, clean fresh mountain air and smoky billows. Laughter and reflection.

When you stop to think about things you allow your mind to wander. Your thoughts to trickle out and like a vine wrap around other ideas and motivations. I am motivated more now to write and read. To reflect and ponder. Back in the bustle of the city and classroom life- I am allowing moments to ponder- for that is my release, my escape. Amidst the laughter of students today, I can envision the lake, the billow of natures destruction- and I am thankful for what I have.

One More Time, With Feeling

The crescendo begins, rising and building

it is close, the accumulation

adaptation, pivot and soar

content, knowledge and collaboration

unfolds and roars

the faces will change, the voices will become new

but the learning will endure

the relationships will be secure

because they were forged, like the sound of growth

in steel motivation and molten inspiration

these faces, I will miss

these voices, I will miss

and as another cohort enters- one more time

with feeling

another opportunity to inspire and allow

collisions and crescendos

and I am ready for the cymbals to clang

Why is Ordinary not Extraordinary?

Ordinary sounds less than extraordinary. Add a few extra letters- 5 in fact and the word changes. I feel ordinary most of the time. This is not to say I lack confidence or self-value. I know I am awesome. I search for ways of betterment. I love being a teacher and I am never complacent about it. I know what  do is important. But this does not bring to my mind extraordinary skills. I am good at what I do- but am I worthy of those extra 5 letters?

I do not seek them. I seek to be ordinary because most of us are- we are not less than or mere unordinary- we are us. I always say to people- "Be You"- flamboyant and energetic, calm and introverted. Be kind. Make the world a better place. Strive for mindfulness and finding joy in the little things. But do so, being you. When you are positive, friendly and open-minded you are ordinary. For most of us are. This does not devalue our experiences or existence it just puts things into perspective.

When you grow up being told you are extraordinary, that you are perfect- this creates a sense of entitlement. But when you are told you are ordinary and kind- that you make the world better because you.... then you feel not entitled but invested. You want to do the things that bring joy to others. You want to participate and grow. You want to stay ordinary and amazing. This might seem an odd way to look at the world- and it is.

I was bullied severely as a child- told I was the weirdo or nerd. The unordinary, awkward geek. I heard others being told they were extraordinary- that they had what it takes to be a GOAT. I thought that was odd. Not me, the ordinary girl from California. I did not want to stand out. But I also did not want to be considered unordinary. I liked the thought of ordinary- it put me where I needed to be- with others like me. Those who were themselves and worked hard and treated others with kindness.

These days being ordinary seems to have a connotation of less than. But the extraordinary people to me are not those who are preaching kindness- they are those frustrated and causing havoc - throwing fits on airplanes and performing acts of violence or sending out negative and mean Tweets, videos etc. These are the extraordinary- not because they are better but because they are outliers. Extra to me does not mean better, it simply means different.

So for me- I appreciate that I am ordinary. That I have amazing qualities. That I work hard to earn my keep. That I am open-minded and I accept different points of view. I am not demeaning myself by believing I am ordinary because I am in the largest group, the group of people who value kindness and growth. So here I stay an ordinary girl from California. Bettering myself and learning every day. I do not need the extra five letters- extra does not mean better. I prefer the six letters: growth. The seven letters: mindful. The eight letters: learning.

The Value of Google Classroom

I spent eight years on Canvas, a platform organized for student learning. It organized lessons, assignments, assessments. Much like Google Classroom does. The main difference is Canvas is not free- Google Classroom is available to all. The way teachers can organize and set up classes is similar- day by day or weekly, quizzes, assignments or materials -uploading is simple. BUT, if you have a Google Drive linking documents is quicker and more efficient on Google Classroom. Everything links.

The functionality makes teaching streamlined and efficient, but it is only a calendar, to do list, submission platform. The rest- the teaching, investigations, interactions, collaboration- this is all separate. I use it to have a place students go to see assignments and submit- digital versions of assignments. They can see slide shows, video clips, even hard copy notes and review material all in Google Classroom.

But, the bulk of what we do is hands on. Digits over digital I say. But if I can save paper and have them complete rather on a Google Document or Google Slide- I do that. That way they won't lose it and always have access to all assignments. But coloring, diagrams, lab sheets etc. I print those out. Students collaborate on assignments in class, they digitally complete web quests and escape rooms, virtual games and even draw and create 3D models on-line.

The value in this type of organization is immeasurable- as long as it is not used solely. As long as students are not sitting quietly for class periods just completing work on-line. This detracts from its purpose. Its purpose being- an organizational tool, not an instructional one. But, it comes in extremely handy on virtual learning days, snow days etc. We have used it to keep our school functioning during Covid and other days of virtual learning due to a boiler malfunction and flu outbreak.

I think it is a tool that can be amazing. But, as with all other software/technology it is only as good as far as it reaches. While my school is a Chromebook school (every student is required to own or lease one) many schools do not have access to technology on campus or at home. But if you do- this is an amazing tool to keep students organized and set up lessons in advance (always changeable) and communicate with them via steam or email.

The Evolution and Solution: Classroom Synergy

Classrooms evolve. Voices once quiet become heard. Imaginations change and flow with the topics. Familiarity enhances relationships. Days of good behavior overlap those with shenanigan's and outbursts. Every day is different. The routines might be consistent but the interest level, conversations and attitudes adapt and evolve.

Every class period is unique. And within that uniqueness, there is diversity and vivid personalities playing off of one another- making a cadence of learning. Dynamic and fluid- classrooms are the embodiment of flexibility and challenge. Offering opportunities and growth experiences. They are why teachers become teachers. They are the landscape of our dreams- for we are always planning ahead, and imagining our ecosystems.

Days of desert transform into savannahs and jungles of growth. Icy moments melt to become oceans thriving with life and interaction. We do not need to create these places- they will germinate and pollinate all on their own- if we provide the radiant energy. If we provide an environment ready to transform- our students will dig and plant, feed and nurture their space and merge into the glorious spaces we call classrooms.

When they solve - they discover, build and tinker- students are more than the abiotic factors of learning- they are the vessels the natural beings that embody the ecosystem. They are not the soil nor the rocks but the growth itself. I see this every day: my classroom shifting and flipping, transforming and settling. It takes on the spirit of the voices and attitudes that enter it. I merely the light that beings the process. They the energy, synergy- life of the landscape.

So this week I am watching - staying a mere observer in the tussle and bustle of growth. I trim, I prune but they overgrow their habitats, creating a new succession of growth. and this right here...is pure magic.