Tale from a Dyslexic Mind

I have never met a student who didn't want to learn. I have met many who were reluctant, who shied away from a challenge. I have met many for whom learning comes easy and others who struggle, with the simplest of concepts. But never have I met a student who didn't want to learn and feel like they are smart.

I was a student who never gave up, who struggled in a huge way, not because I wasn't trying, but because my teachers believed I couldn't do it. They said as much. "She is just not smart enough to be in this class." or "She isn't trying hard enough, she is just a lazy student." A label, that followed me though out grade school. I changed schools seven times, before high school and at every school I attended, I was labelled as lazy and a student who needed to focus more and pay attention more and then I would be able to be a better student. I have Dyslexia not laziness.

What is a better student? What does it mean to try harder? Is there a scale of trying hard? Does it progress exponentially? As a child, these words meant nothing to me. The phrase "If you do your best, you can accomplish anything," didn't mean what it was intended to mean. To me it meant, you aren't good enough. I did my homework. I listened in class and did my best at taking notes. They weren't thorough or perfect, I struggled with listening and transcribing. But what teachers saw was, I was easily distracted and never took complete notes. Again, perspective. I never want anyone of my students to feel the way I did growing up. I felt isolated and dumb. There is no other way to put it. It sounds harsh, but true, I am afraid. 

I have been talking a lot to my Dyslexic students. Asking them questions and making sure they never feel isolated or less than. We just get to know one another and what works for us. What tools we use to make learning more fun. We can talk about strategies, till we are blue in the face- but until we negate generalizations and really get to know students, personally, this will never happen. I know some fantastic teachers, out-going and caring teachers who just miss-connect with Dyslexic students because they are taught certain methods to help these students.

Yet, none of us who have Dyslexia are the same. We learn differently, absorb information uniquely and have certain techniques we use every day to cope with being slightly outside the bubble. The bubble of the normal people, I used to call it. We will never be ‘normal’ because we are extraordinary like everyone else. What is normal anyway? Until relationships are in place and students feel safe to tell teachers their fears, they will never truly feel connected in the classroom.

Dyslexia is personal. It is a way of processing and assembling new information into a schema that makes sense to us. This never really happened for me until high school. Not because at the time, 1980's a lot was understood about Dyslexia or that a bunch of new strategies presented themselves to teachers of the time period. It was because of relationships that were made with my teachers. The tools they provided were not mandated or measured, they worked because they came from a place of security and that is why I incorporated them into my learning framework. Now this is not to say that there aren't some amazing strategies out there for teaching Dyslexic students. For me, it means that these methods are just the shape of the solutions, the middle and ultimately the vibrancy will come from a teacher’s time, patience and communication.

When you see a student pull away and retreat- nudge them back in, not with new strategies alone, but with conversation. A current student I have, who is Dyslexic, told me this, on an exit ticket, she wrote this amazing response and I find it the most meaningful feedback, I have ever received. Not because it is positive, but because I wish I had had a teacher whom I could have said this to growing up. It is a reminder that we often forget to just listen.

"I have never been good at science. Too many words and concepts being thrown at me, bombarding me. When I asked questions it was, see me after class, or come to tutorials. I didn't want to spend extra-time learning something everyone else was learning in class. But, since I have been in your class, the vocabulary is presented in so many ways, I get to talk to you one to one every week, and I have lots of time to talk to other students. You really listen to what I need and make sure I get it. I know I am smart, I just need to be reminded sometimes. Not with grades or praise, but with after a hard lesson, I get it. I get to leave the classroom feeling as smart as other students. This is why, I love your class."