A Cape of Good Hope: Student-Teacher Interactions

Trust is not given lightly, for most students. They size you up. They push the boundaries to change the shape of the box. They smudge the lines. They focus on your attitude, your demeanor, your words. Especially your facial expressions- even behind a mask your eyes tell a story. A day to day tale every student is gripped to, like a fantastic novel, written just for them.

But as we all know from experience, some students need a little extra attention. 

Some hide from any sort of interaction- hoping, praying you do not call their name or walk up to their desk. 

But most students, they want to converse, step into your bubble. Little ones they crave it, they need it. High-Schoolers, they want you to think they don't care- their nonchalant desire, worn like a cape of strength. But middle schoolers, junior high students- they aren't so good at the masquerade.

I am the corny teacher. I tell corny jokes, wear a colorful pair of Keds or Sketchers daily- a quirky t-shirt too. I say hello to everyone as they enter the room- smile a huge grin from behind my required facial covering. Sometimes I get a hello in return, sometimes a glance and shuffle. But, I am relentless. Every day a hello, using their name. Eventually I get at least one or two responses. 

My virtual classes are much larger. 30-35 faces on a screen all staring back at me. Its a bit daunting. But, I choose a few names per day to greet individually, as they are beginning their science-starter. I say them aloud- sometimes they respond verbally, others in the chat box. It has taken a little bit longer to get them to warm up to me. But we have a good rapport. 

I make the same corny jokes on Zoom that I do in class. But, my demeanor is different. Sitting in a chair creates a certain aura that you lose in a face to face classroom. The act of mobility itself- creates a sense of blending and ebb and flow- you miss this fluidity in a virtual classroom. So I have to work extra hard to use my hands, and lean in and out of the camera- to create a sense of urgency.

I guess it does come down to that in a nutshell. Engagement is all wrapped up in a sense of urgency. Like, if you aren't listening, you are going to miss something. As if the gripping story that is leading their school lives day to day, has a huge plot twist unfolding. They need the twist, not the long drawn out narrative. They need the character development, the arc, the mystery. That is how students and teachers learn to interact, build relationships. Move the plot forward.

We all wear capes: the small ones that help us fly- and look cool. Or the heavy hooded ones shrouding our faces on those days we feel overwhelmed and frustrated. We hide ourselves as much as they hide themselves. But, it is the interactions that matter the most these days. The eye contact, the smile and yes (I am going to admit here) fist bumps and handshakes. That is why we have hand-sanitizer right?

So I have a few athletes who have been a bit restless and a little withdrawn. They grunt more than they speak. They have tried desperately to avoid making any sort of effort to connect with me. I tried by using their names, telling corny sports jokes, talking about their games and lives- to no avail. Only being met with one word responses and rare eye contact. 

So I decided to create a unique handshake with one of them. My most challenging, my most uninterested student. So I asked him "Do you want a secret handshake?" He stopped dead in his tracks. "A handshake, he asked?" I responded, "Indeed, a silent hello. Then after, we can use hand-sanitizer." He smiled, thought about it for a moment or two- then came up with a quirky grasp, wiggle and thumb wrestle hand-shake. I fumbled on purpose a few times, giving him the opportunity to teach me.

Every day sense, we have done this handshake as he has enters my classroom. Then I squirt some hand-sanitzer in his hands. A routine, a ritual- a bond.

Then as one would expect, the other athletes saw this and low and behold- now I have six unique handshakes with different students. Other students laugh and watch as we do this daily. It is an event that has brought my class closer together. These students are more interactive in class. They say hello to me in the hallway. They wave. They smile. They interact. Our cape is our handshake.

Be quirky. Be you. But also make sure you bring a little oddity into the mix. That's what makes a great story. The unexpected twist of a handshake. The huge smile that may seem unnoticed- but that lightens the burden of those around you. 

A handshake, a smile- they unfurl the cape. Words of kindness, patience, compassion- they are the wind that gets the cape soaring behind you. 

Unfurl your cape. Whatever your cape is. Unfurl it and engage. Create urgency and a sense of surprise. Believe in the story, for it is the reason we wear our capes. Capes are our demeanor, personality, attitude and charisma. They are our moments where THEY teach us, where a gesture of a handshake changes everything. 

Cape, handshake- smile, words of kindness. Be a superhero. That is what they need right now. That is what we need right now. We all need a good superhero.