Hype and Hyperbole (90)

With any situation- good or bad there is anticipation. Not just on what is going to happen. But unfortunately for many, how can I profit off of this? The build-up, knowing something is about to happen- it's like a flurry of activity, bombardment of ideas, advertisements, BOGO, half off sales. It is a cornucopia of - this is the best way to do this and you will be better if you use our product.

It is like in Minority Report when Tom Cruise is walking down the street, hoodie on, and there are adverts yelling at him from every angle. No matter where he went they saw him, they tailor fit the advertisements just for him. Choices, options, things you need, things you don't. Simply so much information- he went on overload. This is the current situation, our brains are beginning to tune out.
I know mine is.

The hype around education is palpable. Social media is promoting every aspect of teaching- free or not. We as educators see this. Like flashes of loud, neon, pulsating allurement- they are everywhere. Buy my book, here is my top 10 ten list, my way is better than yours. Now I know that a lot of things are free- this is awesome. I love how things that were never offered discounted or free are now readily accessible. There is just so much of it.

Saturation overload.

Invitation, enticement, gimmick and hook. Subtle or overt there is tug, pull and prod in every direction. It is hard to maneuver. 360 constantly, it might seem panoramic at first. Then it suddenly becomes like 'incoming.' projectiles, landing beside you, in front and behind. A constant dodge to shield yourself - protect yourself.

You want to peek. Pick and choose- then you sink into the quagmire of "I'm not good enough." and "If I am not doing the 25 things in a week these other people are doing, I'm lazy." It just gets heavy. Discarded casings lie about and their clank as we knock into them, reverberating and thrumming, is a constant reminder, I can't do it all. The only way to see over the heap- is to focus on goals. Write out a schedule and remain flexible.

Hyperbole is magnification of what others want us to see. Some lay it on thick. Some use embroidering, when they should actually be using simple stitching. Some are making their mountains so tall, our mole hills seem minute and insignificant. Wading in the vast pool is easy for a lot of people. BUT, most are trying to swim up stream in turbulent waters. Most are just exhausted.

Things are settling. Routine is starting to be established. Isolation is heavy. But, purpose and product are comforting. Things are starting to make sense. No embellishment needed. Just honesty about struggles and perseverance is what most people want to hear. Skip the overstatement and metaphor and stick with the truth. The vulnerability of authenticity.

What I need- is camaraderie. I need to read posts about overcoming a hiccup. Posts about working through emotional and social isolation. I gravitate not towards the - buy me, you need me, look at me look at me. But the here it is plain and simple, no artifice, just genuine, personal perspective.
This is comforting. This is refreshing. This is veracity.

Sandcastles (88)

Our memory fades. Our perception changes frequently. Our hope intensifies and wanes, with the changes in our lives. Our dreams crumble, only to rebuild into solid goals, with game plans and strategic steps. We wing it or we plan ahead- either way we live our lives with certain expectations.

Our health can be fragile- but we often bounce back. Most of the time, we 'laugh in the face of danger' as Simba says. We fight off disease, build up immunity and exercise, all in order to, stay in tip top shape. Only to be toppled down by unexpected germs. Life is precarious.

We rely on another for our mental balance, as humans we crave interaction. We yearn for companionship. We are feeling very isolated, distanced, afraid to be close at this time. We forget the normalcy of aches and pains and generalize them as something worse.

We are machines, systems of function. Each interlocking and providing energy. Each synchronized to keep the machine alive. Organic and full of energy we thrive. One small flaw in the process, a cog in the machine, can shut down the harmony.

Each of us a fragile, sandcastle that with even the gentlest of waves will crumble and be reabsorbed. YET we are so strong and so stubborn- we often remain sturdy even with the strongest of waves. We are durable. We are tenacious. We are stubborn. We will endure, even this.

This situation reminds me that no matter how, tip top shape, little things can clog the system. Many things- like hopelessness, anxiety, and fear can add a lot of chaos to the machine. Maybe not as much as any bug or accident- but it shuts down certain aspects of the hole. It weakens us. So we need to stay positive and mentally fit as well.

A sandcastle
Grains intertwined, we build our endurance
Relentless against gravity
Yet a gentle rumble, can shake its core
Unsettled ground can shuffle down the structure to flat
Each grain once assembled, tries desperately to remain adhered
But they wiggle back into re-absorption
Disappearing into the vastness of grains
Simmering and Glistening
Under the light of day

Until we gather the granules
Pack them tightly
Shape them into our dreams, hopes and aspiration
Smooth the edges
and
Slowly lift the veil
Leaving the fantastical, magical semblance
of Life

We get knocked down
But we always rebuild, reshape
We grow taller
More firm in our resolve and
We remain flexible, knowing that even
with the mist of the oncoming tide
Our continuity, consistency and connection
will remain
indelible

Reality 101: A Course in Observation (86)

This happened this morning. I had convinced myself that every thing would be normal. Feel normal. But, it wasn't.

Components of the Course

There is an underlying anxiety and an overt sense of self-preservation. It looms heavy over us. As we pull into the parking lot, its merely empty, as I anticipate most of the shelves will be. Carts are left askew- as if somehow putting them back would mean contagion.

Red tape is adhered to the concrete, at 6 foot intervals across the front of the store, on the sidewalk. A red glinting reminder, in the light of dawn.

Visual scurrying and quick-paced shuffles to and from vehicles. Drivers deciding whether or not to remain in their cars until the doors open. The sight, reminds me of bugs scattering as you lift a rock.

Piles of discarded gloves by the, not full, trashcans. As if putting them in would mean infection. The consternation is palpable. It's sitting in the air like an invisible fog. For if it was an actual fog, it wouldn't feel so eerie.

A line forms at the end of the scuttle. The doors aren't open yet, for the masses, and the cue is fifteen strong. It doesn't feel like a line, it is vast, spread across the parking lot. Giant, yet manageable increments of space, of yes you guessed it- 6 feet. A young girl bounces out of her car, walks with ease, earbuds in, joining the end of the line. She emanates care free. The juxtaposition is stunning.

An older woman, turns and shouts at her, loudly for everyone to hear "6 feet." She doesn't hear her, but definitely feels the visual shock wave. She steps back a few feet and the elderly woman, points a finger at her, then turns back around.

I witness this as I am crossing the parking lot with my husband. We are dropping my son off at work, a local grocery store. We decided since it was opening time to try and find a few things. The doors pop open and an employee waves us in. People hesitate a moment.

Making sure the line dissipates in an orderly way. Not coming too close to one another. My husband and I dare not breach- feeling like if we did, we would get the same pointing finger and shout of discipline- so we watch for a moment till the fog clears.

Objectives

Eye contact, if made is returned with a silent "What are you looking at?" Face masks and gloves are the norm. If you are not donning - the evil eye lurks about at every angle. You feel it on the back of your neck from 6 feet away.

We grab a cart and enter the nearly empty store. At least 1/3 of the shelves are bare. Employees are at the registers, masked and gloved- behind newly assembled plastic guards. Now employee and customer have an extra barrier of protection. An extra layer of separation.

Each check out has a bottle of hand-sanitizer. The eagerly awaited, almost priceless, commodity. The employees seem nervous. They are fidgety. My son takes his place, at the end of a scanner and awaits his first round of bagging.

We had a grocery list, we stuck to it. No paper or cleaning products available to be purchased. But, we found some frozen meals, cheese and milk. Two things of bread- the limit. 1 thing of frozen chicken- the limit. Yet, soda and candy is fully stocked. We opted not to impulse buy. We stuck to the necessities.

It is almost quiet, in a grocery store, at 8:00 in the morning. It feels surreal. As I am standing at checkout- the manager is putting up a sign- Now Hiring. I think to myself, I hope those who lost their jobs hear about this. But, I know many won't want to work at a grocery store. But, I hope they do. These will stay open no matter what, so they hold many job opportunities.

As we drive home, we are quiet. I watch the traffic, a little too fast for my taste. But I know teenagers are restless. They need to blow off steam and speeding down the road is their way of taking control. We are all looking for control- to feel empowered. Some are lashing out- being rude. Some are hoarding. Some are Amazon junkies- I know I am. Some are venturing out, while others are quarantining.

Assessments

At times things feel normal. But leaving my house, which I rarely do- brings with it a sense of anxiety, I don't have at home. I get stressed and overwhelmed and then choose to filter my intake of information.

I get overstimulated and choose to meditate and read. Just distance myself from the distancing. But, then I go to the store, early in the morning, and the film of agitation and dismay covers me.

Today at 2:00 Governor Abbott had a press conference. New executive orders, new restrictions. Potential for extending school closures. Anticipation of more to come.

Today has been answering questions for my students, responding to reflections and setting up lessons for next week. Keeping busy, keeps me sane.

It is hard to transition between being a teacher, an educator, a mom, a wife. I usually am here, there and everywhere. Busy, busy, busy. Now the hustling is within isolation. Feels strange.

Reality 101- talk about your feelings with someone. We are not emotionless, packages of flesh and blood. We are impassioned, sensitive and at times of stress- we can be impulsive and irrational.

I witnessed this today within the sixty minutes I was exposed to the 'outside world.' 6 feet away and the fervent, fiery vibes were pulsating. It is going to be this way for awhile.

But if we return the evil eye with a smile- as I did. Maybe it will ease the fear a bit. Without a mask I was able to smile at others. Most looked at me and smiled back, I could tell under their mask they were smiling. Mindfulness is so important right now. Forgiveness is so important right now. People are going to act in very strange ways in reaction to a very unique situation.

Instructional Strategies

So be patient and remember to breathe. Ventilate your feelings to someone. Stay connected. Play. Realize that every moment of your time does not need to be consumed with Covid-19 and education. Take a break.

The guilt can be heavy- as educators we feel we aren't there for our students- we feel empty not being in our classrooms. But, we need to focus on what we have- platforms to interact, our mindful spirit and our resolve. This resolve is going to keep us powering through.

Thank you to the medical professionals who are relentlessly fighting this invasion. To the retail employees who are working to keep our supplies accessible, even if they are dwindling. Thank you to the parents for supporting educators and working together to make sure your children are learning.

To all the people out there who are doing small things- like coloring positivity art on neighborhood sidewalks- so children can take walks and be reminded of kindness and joy. To those who are sending out posts of hope and community.

This is what we need to focus on- what we can do. Not what we can't. Reality 101- most things are out of our control these days. Reality 101- not everything is out of our control. Find those things and stay positive and spread mindfulness- every single act of kindness matters.

Distance Learning has it's Crumbs- Less is More (84)

I think information is a good thing. If you have a large group of people communicating. If you are all trying to reach the same goal and numerous people are asking the same questions- if the confusion is universal, for the most part, it seems like one announcement, not a mass email, but an announcement on the platform- seems reasonable. This way everyone has it cleared up, instead of one by one responses.

But these days less is more. Trying to navigate parental frustration, district requirements and student questions can be tough. I think having gone through two days of distance learning- keep it simple. Answer the questions one by one. Send one announcement in the AM per day. Then do not send anything else. This will minimize their full inboxes and brains. Getting several updates daily is just plan messy and frustrating. Less is more.

The cookie jar is vast, lots of hands reaching in our brains, during this distance learning. Students have emails and requirements. They are lacking social interaction. They have siblings and parents surrounding them with chores, school time, leisure time. It's bound to be overwhelming. My two sons- 4th grade and 11th are inundated this week. I have chosen scheduled times for them to do school work. It is important they stay in school- yet also have time to relax and be kids.

30 minutes a day per class. That is all we are allowed to require. So if we put all assignments out on a Monday they have a week to complete all the assignments. That is reasonable. But, over-achievers will try to get it done at one time- again they have multiple classes- and thus, it seems like teachers are overloading students with work, when it is students trying to do too much in one day. We need to find a balance. In the morning AM announcements maybe remind students- you have a week, take your time, take frequent breaks.

Lot's of breaks. No grades this week. Just participation. I have a feeling though, they are so anxious about getting behind they are trying to do too much at the same time. I think so much information is just overloading their brains and parents are watching them unravel. Parents, who are now responsible for their children's school-time regiment, are simply getting frustrated- after only a day of distance learning. Let them come to you with questions- parents don't need too much information either, trust me.

So, remember less is more. Be concise and specific and then let students and parents ask questions individually. If students choose to over-load with a lot of work in one day, that is not on you. But, it seems like sending all weekly assignments, in one bundle works for most students and their parents. Not daily assignments. This allows them to plot a schedule and create a check-list to make sure everything gets done. Time-management.

Odd times indeed. As a parent, I understand, the overload. But, as a teacher we are required to do what we are doing. District assignments are out of our control. It is a time where we are all uncertain and uneasy. Especially when it comes to our children. Parents and teachers need to communicate.

They need to support one another. They need to understand we are all doing the best we can. So let's work together to help our children be successful- schedules, breaks and incremental learning- that is the best way to go. Send out a survey to parents- at the end of the first week: 1- Do you prefer a bundle on Monday's of assignments or for them to be spaced out daily? 2- Would you like extension activities for more in depth learning? 3-How best can I serve your student during this time?

The more feedback we get, the more we can make sure that distance learning is beneficial and purposeful for everyone. Parents are our ally, so listen to their concerns. Students are the ones doing the assignments- ask for feedback. If a platform isn't working well for them- change the format. This should be easy and accessible not frustrating for them.

There is a learning curve and we are in it. Hopefully together we can smooth the edges and allow for some great learning these next few weeks.

Srotacude (82)

The world changed suddenly. Roles altered. Behaviors adjusted to distancing. Opinions raged and yet became more open-minded. People started to listen more. They were separated, but they were more connected somehow. The new norm looked different. Felt different. But, many aspects of life had to continue. Certain things had to remain in tact. Society may have changed its behavior but the reality of circumstance remained the same.

There is a group of individuals who have a very strange profession. In the previous world and the new normal, as many people are calling it. They had earned a degree, did time in the trenches even before they had the opportunity to take the reigns. They voluntarily joined the field. It is not a lucrative profession, nor are they revered across the globe. In fact, in many places they are ridiculed and parodied. Yet, they continue to give it their all.

They have scheduled bathroom breaks. Only a short time to re-nourish themselves. They come into contact with various germs every day. They have to keep their guard up, redirect, engage, discipline, organize, attend requirements, write reports and perform morning or afternoon duties. They are dedicated, focused and resilient even in the face of bad attitudes, conflicts and judgement.

When the world shifted, they took up arms and moved brick by brick to a virtual platform on which their voice was continuous. They kept discussions alive, collaboration a foot and support unwavering. They know unequivocally, that what they do matters, even when others do not see it. Even when they can't look others in the eye, they send messages of hope. They send visual smiles of reassurance.

The bonds they make with one another and their apprentices are ever-lasting and strong. Even through distance they are vibrating and resonating. They answer emails at all hours of the night. They create experiences that keep their docents interested and intrigued. It is harder to do when they are not in front of you. But, they do. 

Not for a paycheck. But because this profession, as strange as it is, is in their blood. It is a passion, a calling, that not even distance could disrupt. These Strotacude are empowered by action. Every single one displacing uncertainty and insecurity with consistency, mindfulness and relationships that have been forged since August. These relationships are the glue, these actions are the foundation.

These strotacude- educators are united and in it for the long haul. So buckle up educators- these students love you, respect you and need you. You are bigger than your classroom. You are louder than a speaker. You are truly amazing. Let's get to it- lets educate.

Overwhelmed Much? (80)

I feel like I'm out of phase. Like nothing appears crisp and life-like. A constant dream state. I listen, watch as others fret in the store, as they look at empty shelves. Cars seems to change lanes a bit too quickly. Yet, things seems slow. It is like a Looney-Tunes cartoon, but the picture is wobbly and hazy. Like the antennae of our youth. I want to stand up and walk over to the show - being broadcasted- this current event and readjust the signal.

I feel in control of myself, protecting my family. But outside these four walls- I feel things are slipping- like melting wax on the side of a candle. The stick disappearing, the wick well below its threshold. Slippage, a vanishing of societal norms. It is only beginning. Bored teenagers have started the ruckus. They are bored and myopic, and it is a loud reminder things aren’t normal.

Today was overwhelming. I was allowed in my classroom during 9-11am and I used the opportunity to enter my room and gather supplies: home-schooling for my child, paper products and cleaning supplies. Hand-sanitizer of all things.

It didn’t feel strange to be there, at first, it felt almost like it was summer. But when I entered and left, I had to sign in and out and there were reminders over the intercom of the remaining time we had left in the building. It began to feel surreal very fast. I saw a few teachers, they waved and scurried down the hallway. But it was mostly empty.

Then I went to a Neighborhood Walmart. It wasn’t very busy, but everyone was wearing masks and gloves. A lot of the shelves were bare. But we were lucky they had just restocked meat and cheese. No paper products. But alas, my classroom was a goldmine there. Few cars on the road during peak travel time. Pouring rain. It felt eerie and disconcerting. I couldn’t wait to get home.

I try to keep the news to a minimum. Read, write and just be with my family.

We had our first Zoom meeting where we got the lay out of our distance learning. That hit home in a big way. We will be distance learning for some time to come, I anticipate. I hate uncertainty and well, I am in the middle of an uncertainty nightmare. All we can do is wait and see.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates: Sometimes You Know What You're Gonna Get (78)

I am a silver lining type of person. I like to make sense of things. I have anxiety and a rare panic attack- but generally I am a positive person. I hate uncertainty, I really loathe surprises. Most importantly, I want the hard truth, tell me like it is, be honest and direct. Sweet, caramel- no extra flavoring needed.

Don’t shelter me from the harsh, light of day. This I am prepared for. Nothing was ever been handed to me, I had a tough time growing up with bullying and Dyslexia and as a result, I have thick skin. I stay calm in the face of turmoil and fear. I may have anxiety, but during a crisis- I am remarkably stable and calm. A hearty toffee, milk chocolate and nuts on the outside, crunchy goodness on the inside.

If I didn't practice Buddhism and mindfulness, however- I am not sure, I would be so positive. My daily mantra’s and intentions set the beginning, of my day. The repetition and maintenance of both, is my solid ground. I have to have a clear, succinct path. My mantra’s and intentions are the map that keeps me traveling, in the right direction. They are my reminder to be optimistic and purposeful. Buttercream, soft and silky. Smooth and mellow.

Most of the time, I adjust to social norms quickly. I smile, hold down meaningful conversations-yet I rarely strike them up. I tend to be quiet and in my own world. Currently, in this new situation, staying distanced, I feel more at ease in so many ways. 

Does this sound bad, that I like the distancing? I don’t miss the social interaction, yet. I like knowing there is a whole box of chocolates, waiting to be opened and enjoyed. Albeit, in a new format. I like the moment of silence, the time to think and innovate.

The connection with my students is going to be the biggest loss, for me. I love teaching. That is the one social adjustment I was happy to make-and every day they bring me joy. But I will continue to build relationships. Use on-line platforms to connect. Send mindfulness strategies and positive emails.

This is a temporary hiatus, from them, I hope. Fruit flavored gems of cherry cordial or orange, a bit of pop, yet reminiscent of stability. We may be separated, but we are still a class.

I am not a touchy-feely type of person- I rarely shake hands. I only hug my closest friends and family. I am a 'distanced' person already, for the most part. I don't mind small groups of people, but I tend to get anxious, if I have to be in a large group. I steer clear of holiday sales. I prefer to order on-line, even it costs a bit more. I not the peanut cluster, crowded with nuts. I am more of a chocolate covered Oreo.

Even faculty meetings are a bit overwhelming, for me. Too many voices and opinions, I guess. I hear every cough, every sniffle- every side-bar conversation, as the principal is speaking. I like to focus, but with the shuffling and whispers, I am easily distracted. Dark chocolate, coconut filled, it takes some focus, to make sure the bits, don’t get lodged in your teeth.

I am better on-line: no face to face, eye contact, with adults at least. When I am on-line, I can phrase my questions better. I can read rather than have to listen. Then I have a moment to process information and fortify a response. So, this whole quarantine, isolation strategy, works for me. As far as this is concerned.

I like the idea of some 'space.' But I want to be able to look my students in the eye and have meaningful conversations with them. Podcasts and Vodcasts will have to suffice, for now. With the distance also comes uncertainty. Will parents maintain a semblance of learning at home? It’s tough to get students to engage when they feel they are disconnected. What will the end of the school year look like? A variety box, self-chosen for the most meaningful experiences or a pre-packaged assortment?

With a great box of chocolates, now-a-days, you can choose your morsels. Pick and choose your favorites. Even a few new ones you’d like to try before you commit. When I was recently in Albuquerque, I went to my favorite chocolatier, See's Candies and had a 2-pound box created just for me. We don’t have them in Texas, so this was fun for me.

I haven’t opened the box yet. Somehow having an unopened box, keeps a certain level of anticipation alive. But also, in hindsight, a 5-pound box would have been better. I’d have extended comfort choices then. It is a sizable box, yet I know I won’t be visiting a store anytime soon, so I want to savor them. 

Funny how little things like a box of chocolates is a conundrum- do I start eating them now, or wait? Both comforting and distracting.

The juxtaposition of chocolate. Options: white, dark, milk. Fillings and assortments abound. Nuts or no nuts. Fruit or caramels. Butter cream or toffee. Hard or soft centers. Belgian, French or good old Cadbury’s from England. Chocolate is universal.

The style and individuality of a culture’s confectionaries are unique. Just walk down a candy aisle at the store or into a chocolate shop, the options and varieties are practically endless.

It’s a beautiful thing, choice. But chocolates haven’t always been this diversely available. The global market has bridged and connected us, in amazing ways. Obviously, chocolate being a minor one- and yet, a significant one as well. 

Chocolate is family. Chocolate is community. Chocolate is shared, given as gifts. Valentine’s Day love tokens, just one of many. Chocolate is a way to connect us.

In my childhood, we didn’t have the cornucopia of options, we have today. It was a time, when boxes were simply pre-packaged and put on the shelf. Some companies gave you a list, which was quickly lost, of the boxes’ contents. But, they were often put in the wrong slots- so it was an adventure every time a new box was opened.

Others made you wing it. Then, by the time, some of us got a hold of the box, there were only these half-eaten morsels, in each of the waxy, ridged paper wrappers. As a child I never got first crack, at the box. I got the leftovers. Generally, they were the nut filled ones, I couldn’t eat. So, the infamous quote in Forest Gump, hit home for me.

In all my adulthood, I have never gone into a chocolate shop and had a box created, just for me. So last week, among the rattling and separation of society, to be able to choose my favorites and get them packaged, in a pretty white box, was a treat. Well, simply put, it was kind of invigorating. A meaningful, personal experience. I felt I had a choice. I had control of something in my life, in a time where we all feel, very displaced and disrupted.

Looking at my unopened box of sweet, creamy, no nut-filled, chocolates. I hesitate to open them. Does that sound crazy? Maybe. But, a part of me wants to have that excitement last. The anticipation linger. Keep a little uncertainty, by choice.

While the rest of the world is in flux, maybe in the corner of my room- my new office and classroom for a spell, can stay childlike. It can hold a secret, only I know. That there is an unopened box of chocolates, that carry with them, the hope of normalcy. The subtle, unique gift of calm and focus, in an otherwise uncertain world.