It is nefarious and perverse. It can cause anxiety and loneliness. But, worst of all, its vicious depravity, its intentional dive bomb, can lead even the happiest of people, down a dangerous path. Seclusion. Isolation. Division. A confinement of identity. When we feel like we are quarantined and forced on a different trajectory, as those around us, we tend to lash out. Our instinct as humans is to belong. To feel apart of a community. To be accepted by our peers and colleagues. To embrace camaraderie and collaboration. When we feel betrayed or forgotten, we no longer behave like a member of the populace. We become citizens of our own, insulated, abstract, reality and this can cause us to act, in very scary ways.
Quietly or actively, calmly or violently, we react. It may be a disheartening thought nagging us, luring us away from stability. A voice of discomfort and doubt that may linger, a little too long. If we ignore it, it festers. If we attack it, often, a darkness creeps in, making us feel, even more severed. The only solution is to address it, determine its root and rip it, from the ground. Eliminate it, like a weed trying to overtake our garden, of balance and cohesion. Once a migrant enemy approaches, we need to cut it off at the source. We can not let it dig itself in, or we will be over-run, with the densest of vines. Unfortunately, many people do not have the tools to avoid this.
If this 'kudzu' takes hold, it strangles and pins us down in regret. It suffocates us, drawing out our last glimpse of hope. Leaving us in despair. There is an epidemic of disconnection and disengagement, rampant, in our country. A pandemic of violence, that stems from a deep seeded fear, of being alone. A sense that we are missing out on something, that we are ignored and unappreciated. With all of these horrendous events taking place in our schools, stretching back to Columbine, there is a detachment, at the center. A broken circuit, that the perpetrator feels. A loss of commitment, to a society, that has abandoned them in some way. If you are covered in creepers, bogged down by the tightness of their coils, you become buried. Almost invisible, to the budding flowers and thriving fauna around you. If you feel concealed and ghostly, you are more likely, to want to get noticed.
As educators, parents, colleagues and friends, we need to have a machete' in hand at all times. A tool ready to hack down, the tallest of trappings. We have to bend the stalks of invaders. Mow the squatters that settle in, around our students. Ease the desperation, that takes hold and sinks them, under the waves of pressure. Between 'fitting in' and doing well in school, wrapped in athletics, music and academic competitions, our students are overwhelmed. Some of them are overachievers, diving into every activity they can. Yet, many are intimidated by, or fearful of rejection and trying to impress their family and friends. They buckle under the enormous weight of it all.
We, as educators, need to have a green thumb. Take on the role of vigilant gardener: pluck the weeds, nurture the perennials and fertilize the vegetables. All the while, making sure we get enough sunlight and rain fall, to keep us at our peak performance. It can get exhausting, but it is one of the most important things we can give back to humanity. The gift of inclusion and acceptance. The feeling of acknowledgment and community. We have to stay healthy and active.This is how we can make a difference. This is the best way to avoid escalation to violence and rage. Listening with intent and action by follow-through and solution.
Last week I wrote about the underdog- being one myself and seeking out those students, who may be considered misfits or offbeat. It is with that determination, that I live my life. I remain steadfast in my eccentricity and dissidence. I make sure to say hello to, and smile at, the distracted and sullen. They may not want to share their discontent, but they will exchange with me, a nod or grin. I want to make sure that no one, I come into contact with, not a single passer by, of my orbit, feels desolate or alone. I do not infringe on their privacy or solitary nature- I myself am reserved and remote at times, but I never feel, neglected and unwanted, anymore. I have in the past, more often than I can count, and it is the worst feeling in the world.
Exclusion, persecution, oppression: these are the density, of seclusion. These, form the heaviness, of a mind gone rogue. If we, as individuals, can help keep the walkway clear, the gate open and the invasive species at bay- we can make sure, that no one around us, loses their buoyancy. We can lure in, even the most antisocial or misanthropic of people. Everyone, no matter how introverted, wants to feel important and special. We have to make this happen. We have to find the disenfranchised, disillusioned and defenseless and give them a voice. A warm bench in the garden of humanity. Once we feel a connection, we lose our need to try to be connected. We just are. Then our fear and doubt dissipates and we recognize our place in the world- ultimately, we become a member of the group and when we are no longer feeling separate, we no longer need to lash out.
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