Monday, November 2, 2020

The Subtle Art of SEL- Sometimes We Take it for Granted (308)

It is amazing what happens when we listen. Not just listening for convenience or requirement, but for actual understanding. When we truly care about the topic and want to know more, we sit up and take notice. We engage. We absorb and process. We analyze and structure. We remember.

Sometimes we relentlessly turn our auditory recorders on- every hint at innuendo and subversion grabs our attention. We listen for the nuance, the sudden change in syntax and we hunt for familiarity and promise. When we trust the voice, we engage even more. 

Students are hearing so many things these days. They are like sponges, with constant permeation and soak. They are getting agitated and anxious, like the rest of us. They are harboring the same doubts and worry we are. So we have to keep things light. We need to be the sound of hope and faith. We need to be the voice of reason and aspiration.

SEL as so many of us are discussing these days, needs to be amped up. Sometimes we take it for granted. We assume our students know how to cope with the stress, because they are not acting out. But, for a lot of these students the anxiety is hidden deep inside. We will not know unless we ask. We will not know until we have the conversations and really listen.

SEL can be subtle with just a quick check for the smile- I like to ask if everyone feels a smile or a frown? Then we just talk about emotions and how to be aware of our feelings. Nothing huge or drawn out. But, if we do not take the time to check the temperature of their emotions- we can't help them become more mindful and thoughtful.

We all need reminders. 

We all need guidance. 

But as adults we have, most of us anyway, possess the tools to lead us to more mindfulness. But we needed the reminders and guidance to get us here. We needed someone to help us find our connection to SEL. I know for me there have been wonderful voices of hope on Twitter and fantastic authors, and programs of growth and grace. These guide me every day. These are the sticky notes of mindfulness I find along my path.

We forget sometimes that even though our classes are well-behaved and our students are engaged that they are not necessarily feeling okay. They are often stressed and frustrated. They are often sad and lonely. They are often scared and full of nervous tension. They need us to help them discover why they may have a stomach ache or headache- when all else is healthy. Why they are feeling unmotivated and lazy when they are excited to learn.

SEL is the salvation, the security blanket, the pillow that lifts their spirits. It is the antennae from our youth- just at the right angle to detect the signal. So they can find clarity in the jumble and self-regulate. So they can feel connected when they feel distant and empty. This is our gift to them- listening, guiding and engaging. 

We can't assume they are okay- we have to make sure they are- through conversations and activities. Its self-care. It is personal awareness and self-control. It is finding positivity in times of turbulence. It is feeling good about yourself because you understand how we all impact one another- and that we are all so similar and so beautiful- this is being human and this is the ticket to mindfulness and happiness. 


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