As We Become Aware of Ourselves, We Discover Ourselves (104)

The outside world has changed. Our routines, luxuries and adventures have altered. The comfort of the classroom has evaporated. For our students- this shift is physical for sure. But, remember their way of thinking is the same. Mentally they might be exhausted and discombobulated- but they are the same for the most part.

Their quirks are still there. Their sense of humor is still intact. The same learning disabilities, the same behavior issues. It's just now, they fall a lot on their parents to maintain. We must differentiate, they must get them in front of the computer. But, many times they aren't.

I have a lot of MIA students or some who check-in but then do not complete any assignments. This is happening for numerous reasons I am sure. I email, no response. I call, get voice-mail. I am sure they are overloaded and just do not want to deal with school on top of everything else.

There is a shift in understanding going on- amidst a shift in culture.

We do not know as much as we should know about who we are, who our children are when it comes to academics. We see their grades- but not necessarily their work ethic. Now parents are bearing witness.

We need to understand on a deeper level- who we are, what we are and how we differ. We tend to categorize not individualize. With distance learning it is even harder to do so. The work load for many educators has not decreased, but increased. Plus, generally there is a district wide requirement lesson plan.

We have lost our voice, our ability to get creative. We feel boggled down by bureaucracy.

We all are struggling in our own vectors. It is very difficult to keep our thoughts and intentions aligned when we have lost our voice.

Can we truly be efficacious? When our hands are tied and our playing field is boarded up.

I know for me- Week 4 is beginning and I am trying desperately to keep up with 180 students, not being able to see them daily is a struggle. I miss them. Every single one of them.

As we become aware of ourselves- how we think, what we need, how we cope with stress and frustration- we discover ourselves- strategies to tie everything together. How we can keep our curiosity and creativity alive in this virtual world, keep our families safe and on track and how we can maintain our own health and balance.

sigh...

Discovery undergoing, curiosity engaging, balance, well...that is yet to come.

uncanny valley (102)

There is a theory in the field of aesthetics called the uncanny valley. It holds that when something looks almost like a human being- an android or department store mannequin, it creates revulsion in the observer. 

The revulsion comes from the fact that the appearance is so close to a human being, yet just off enough, to evoke a feeling of uncanniness- something both real and alien. It makes us feel discombobulated and sickened.

This whole temporary, extraordinary likeness of normalcy- feels both legitimate and conflicting. Authentic and estranged. There is a layer of ash of our former day to day lives, coating everything. We dust it away and can glean remnants of the past.

But, the ash returns- as if a blinding, disconcerting storm of anxiety and uncertainty is unwavering. Every news story, every press conference, every reality check- heavy. Adding to the piles of ambiguity and misgiving.

I think as a country, we are coping. We are listening to recommendations and stipulations. Most have provisions. Most have entertainment. Most are staying isolated.

Some people are more innovative, these days, because their minds- stepping away from the day to day- are for the first time in a long time seeing the pause, hearing the quiet- both leading to ingenuity.

Uncanny is a great word- strange, mysterious, unsettling. Our situation in a nutshell. Valley- a low point or position. Definitely visible and palpable. Visceral in fact- leading to insomnia, depression and guilt.

Rising heroes. Illuminating voice of courage. Any time of upheaval not only prepares the exemplar, it gives a platform for the villainous. In every one of us lies an adventurer, defender, guardian and warrior. But with fear and anger - another side may appear- one from self-preservation and misunderstanding- vandal.

The thing about uncanny valley- our coping mechanism's that allow us to deal with our situation, our reaction to the revulsion in other words, is dependent on our emotional response. Our mental and physical preparedness. 

Our willingness to adapt. Our mindset- are we open to new ideas and opinions. Our reasonability- our acceptance of fact over fiction, truth over lies. Can we see correlation versus causality? If we keep our minds in check, we can squelch our abhorrence, at least a little.

This in turn will keep us centered and focused on the problem-solving we each must do. It will set the stage for mindfulness. It will allow us to forgive, appreciate and look for opportunities to help others.

Uncanny valley does not mean- hunker and ignore. It means look at the situation with clear eyes, knowing it feels familiar, our surroundings appear somewhat normal. But also the effects of the global pandemic, which have made our locus out of phase. For some a little- for some a lot.

Look at the edges, the shapes are the same. See the big picture, the fine details, the difference between uncanny and commonplace. Things will go back to normal eventually and remembering this recoil will be important.

It will keep us from falling back into the same groove of separation through devices and taking for granted our normalcy. This recognition will hopefully, help us set the stage for a canny peak. Canny-having or showing shrewdness and good judgment at a place of advantage.

100 Days of Change, 100 Days in a Row of Writing (100)

I have been writing a blog post and posting for 100 days in a row today.

It seems very insignificant in the scheme of things.

But, a milestone.

Several years back I participated in #blog365 and wrote for 365 days in a row.

That is my goal another full year- an achievable goal. I am sure I will have a lot to write about.

This being a year of a lot of adjustment and uncertainty- it is much easier to latch on to an idea to frame a post around.

A presidential election. Covid-19. Distance learning. Quarantine/Isolation.

Today though, I just don't have much to say.

Listening to music, wireless headphones- more of an escape.

Today's goal- Grading. Reading. Binging TV.

Just another week.

Just another post.

Like Systems Tend to Integrate, Friendship a Must (98)

Only you know how to be happy. How to find contentment. You have wise words- so listen to yourself. 

View Optional

We must keep a birds-eye and a worms-eye view. The world is a very big place, our personal identity requires a view from many angles. We are the embodiment of our shape- our curves, our size and thoughts. 

We are systems integrated. Personalities, learning styles, outlooks and mindsets. Not to mention we are machines of such power and veracity. We function well within normal parameters, much of the time. But we should, when we can give ourselves a head start.

We always have a zenith and a nadir. No matter if we are healthy and happy, energetic and hopeful, or crestfallen and anxious. These are our highest points and the lowest points, relative to our location. Our mental bearings, our social standing and our physical position. They are dependent on our frame of mind and level of efficiency.

We also have a set point, the optimal range of function of our physical and mental bodies. Our bodies are in constant battle, in order to keep us healthy. A system of interrelated functions, working together, depending on one another. The set point fluctuates, as does our zenith and nadir. Shifting as they try to keep our shape. Our integration.

Shape Flexible

Our set point is not a number, or a statistic but rather a process, where we tune into our body's natural cues. Where we listen for the telltale signs of exhaustion, fatigue and illness. Our shape, our integration, depends on the parameters of our spiritual, environmental and physical frame. Each a component of us.

The shape of things, how we interact with the external and how our internal behaves, has everything to do with where we are mentally, how we react and how often we have mental and physical check-ins. How well we take care of ourselves. No one can do this for us. We are on our own here. 

Our shape is our responsibility. Our integration is solo work.

Friendship Optimal

We are not just our own personal trainer, psychologist, diagnostician and physician but also our own friend. This sounds strange, I know. But if we are not our own friend, we tend to neglect the other aspects of our shape. We hyper focus on what we want and not what we need. A true friend is honest. A true friend is present when we need them.

The shape of things is crucial. The shape of us- is what we have control of. 

Now, we might get invaded or we might find ourselves in a dark place emotionally- but if we are cognizant and in touch with our cues, our warning signs, we can get started on the healing sooner rather than later. 

This is what a friend does. They see the big picture and point out our blind spots. Sometimes they have to be brutally honest for our own good.

Truth is, we lie to ourselves sometimes. We fool ourselves. We don't trust ourselves. We even feel bad about ourselves and if we do not build a friendship with ourselves- an honest to goodness relationship- we will go mad during these times of isolation.

Even if you are surrounded by family, as you are cooped up inside- even if you are living communally- you still feel the weight of things. Its your mind that traverses the social media universe. It is your restraint that keeps you focused and safe. 

Listen to yourself, you know whats best for you.

Flash of Reality

There are certain aspects of our shape, that can only be viewed from the rear-view mirror. They happen so fast; we don't notice until it's too late. There is always a critical moment of transmission.

If we are truly in sync with ourselves, however, we can get proactive. We can accept the forewarning, no matter how foreboding. We can learn to tip the scales in our favor. 

Ground is either gained or lost, our zenith heightens or falls, our nadir deepens or rises. It depends on our awareness, our mindfulness, on how fast we bounce back. We may need the guidance of others, but ultimately it is under our purview.

We are in a constant battle between fatigue and fastidiousness. Its ongoing and imbalanced. We can’t end it. We can only adjust it in our favor, and only if we pay attention. Again mindfulness. Kindness towards ourselves needs to come first.

Like oxygen on a plane- secure your balance first or you might just tumble down and bring others with you.

Equilibrium is impossible- it is a set of problems to overcome, not an endgame. 

Our set point remember, fluctuates. But we can minimize the disruption, if we listen to ourselves. Believe in ourselves. Stop comparing ourselves to others. Instead, by looking at ourselves, searching inward and amplifying our strengths and beauty, we can make ourselves happier.

Like Systems Tend to Integrate

Like systems tend to integrate. When we find an orbit we mesh with, we tend to fix our revolution to it. When we find connections that fulfill us, we tend to gravitate towards them. When we appreciate ourselves, for who we are, we are open to new challenges, we seek new solar systems to cross, and ultimately, the vast expanses, that scare us, shrink.

This happens because we are not frenemies with ourselves. We are best friends. This might sound corny- but you know its true. When we are true friends with ourselves- great things start to happen.

Our shape, begins to look familiar. Our integration feels solid. Our outlook is no longer one of one, but a single of many. We find commonality, individuality. Yet, we hold our shape- strong and steady. We find more friends.

We flex, curve and extend. Then those around us bend, stretch and tilt, until our isolation becomes integration. Like systems tend to integrate. Our components integrate into our whole shape. Each component critical in the maintenance of our aggregate.

We are a sum of our parts. If we remain positive and mindful just maybe our zenith will remain high, our set point optimal and our being healthy. I think during this time, we can be happy, hopeful and content. We can embrace our solitude and integrate our mindfulness and physical well-being. We just need to listen. We just need to trust ourselves.

OODA - A Cycle of Sanity (96)

The OODA loop (Observe, Orient, Decide, Act) is a four-step approach to decision-making that focuses on filtering available information, putting it in context and quickly making the most appropriate decision while also understanding that changes can be made as more data becomes available.

Confine to a cycle. Recon needed. The OODA loop was designed by a military strategist, but it is very much relevant to most of us today. We are bombarded with information, we hear conflicting ideas, devastating stories, hopeful scenarios- and we are left in a daze.

We observe normalcy at times and what feels like apocalyptic circumstances at others. The range of what we believe to be real or fake news- hype or fact is astounding. Today alone I have read six articles all conflicting one another in regard to the spread of the virus, symptoms of the virus and taking care of those who are infected.

I read about OODA and I thought, interesting. How can I integrate this into a routine where I can make sense of the barrage of data? Sift through the innuendo and charm and recognize the helpful and meaningful. Truth- not everyone is honest. 

Truth- some people are deliberate in their deception and are trying to make things worse in social media. Truth- we are quarantined, or distancing and we have to not just seek but find reliable data.

Observe

I find that not relying on Facebook for my news is helpful. Actually, going to reliable sources- news outlets I trust. Then finding another source. If I read six conflicting reports- I wait until the next day. I give them time to get their data straight. To align and write research-based articles. Sometimes they publish before they get all the facts.

Orient

Orientation can be a challenge if I am feeling a sense of gloom and doom. Which at times I do. I mean have you read news articles lately? They are scary. Over exaggerated and extremist. But to get a sense of the truth I daily read all kinds of articles. I like to know what both scientists and politicians are saying. It helps me acclimate and position myself in an offensive mode, rather than a defensive one.

Decide

Decisions are personal. The welfare of my family is personal. How we protect ourselves is personal. I do not want to make irrational decisions nor do I want o feel boxed into a corner, because I do not know all the facts. I am a researcher at heart. I do not make decisions lightly. I make lists, pros and cons, and I analyze data. That is the reader in me. The more information I have the better equipped I am to make a good decision. The observe and orient stages allow me to do that.

Act

I am definitely someone who acts. I do not sit on the sidelines and hope everything is going to be alright. I am a rule follower, until the rule does not make sense and I have data that says, try something new. This is a precarious time where rule following is important. Staying home is important. That is my action. Distancing and choosing to stay diligent and rational.

OODA

It’s funny how if you do not stay busy, your mind creates situations of doubt. The second you cough or sneeze, you get worried. But allergies still exist. Influenza is still invading. Stomach aches, headaches and runny noses are happening all over the globe- and they are not Covid-19. Yet, sometimes they are. Diligence but rationality is needed.

Research and data collection. Finding fact. Listening to reliable intel. This is so important right now. OODA- a cycle that requires recon. It requires patience. It requires you to not allow bias to consume you. 

Do not let yourself make a judgement or let an uninformed opinion guide you to make rash choices.

Stay home. Do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of data. Choose your few reliable resources and stick to them. I use the CDC, New York Times and NPR. Although I glance at CNN and Reuters. Then I compare their information. It is tough to stay level-headed, but this cycle- this loop of OODA, keeps me sane.

Knowledge is power.

We are all Red Woods and Yellow Daisies (94)

Tall Sequoia's grow tall and strong, because they bend with the wind. Their priority, survival. Their design, sustainability. Rigidity, can cause them to crack and cleft. Yet, flexibility allows them to crook and arc, wobble and teeter, when necessary.

It's impulse is to photosynthesize, germinate and cultivate, a niche for itself. Stimuli are constant: water, light, temperature, touch. A continual response system allows these successful plants, to anticipate, propagate and reciprocate with ease.

They have endured climate change, deforestation and attack from local flora and fauna- but, they remain, steadfast, deep rooted and towering over the younger, more vulnerable greenery. It is all about stamina and perseverance.

Red Woods or Daisies- fauna is meant to endure, even the harshest of climates. We as human's have the same design.

Impulse and stimulus, for us Homo sapiens, will only take us so far. It will spark curiosity, increase enthusiasm, cause engrossment and attentiveness, but it will be temporary, if the allegiance and adherence is waning. It is one thing to have skill, it is another, to have a steady stream of devotion, dedication and duty.

Time is our biggest obstacle. An unavoidable barrier to fulfilling, every one, of our interests. We can't be in two places at once, therefore we have to set priorities. Now a days we are quarantined- yet we still are trying to do everything we can. We have to have a schedule.

Our fatigue and unrelenting pressure is mounting. Students have this same pressure placed by parents, as well as themselves, and even with 'distancing' things are beginning to become more  taxing on them. We have to let kids be kids. We have to lighten the load.

They need to know that they have an escape route. That they can choose to wean themselves off, of so many investments.Time is precious and children need quiet time, reflection time, and family time. We need to find a way to challenge our children, but still let them have fun and just play.

We have to have limits. Their brains have to have a shut down mode- a sleep mode. As parents that needs to be our priority. As educators we need to make sure the focus is on growth not grades. Learning not requirements. This time is stressful for all of us. Let the Red Woods stand tall and the daisies have their space. We all have our 'best effort.' We all have our better judgment- let's use it and make sure every child is thriving.

Just a Post, Nothing of any Consequence (92)

Today is April 1, 2020. We have been distance learning for a week. There were hiccups with technology, overloading of an educational platform, isolation and just plain old frustration and exhaustion of millions of educators. Deadlines extended, on-line communication, a new way of teaching. All because of a microscopic organism that decided to invade the human population.

I could go on and on about fear, anxiety and how even introverts like myself are struggling with the quarantine. But, there are thousands of articles out there to read about that topic. I could share full-proof strategies, must haves for every teacher- but there are even more of those out there. I could write about what I'm doing in this time of distancing. But I know- who cares.

I am not being negative. I really am not. I am being honest. I have good ideas and I write about them. I rant a little. I spread mindfulness and kindness quotes. I do not Tweet negativity of any kind. I write as positively as I can. Hiding my darkness. I try to stay optimistic. I know I am a very good teacher. I work hard. I am dedicated and focused.

I have not written a book- I am trying. I have a few chapters, but then I think about it and well...who wants to read what I am writing when there are louder voices, people who know people and who can get something published. I write a blog- not many people read it. Especially now that hundreds of thousands more educators are blogging and sharing. The market is saturated.

I have a chat- people come. This is hopeful. My voice is not as quiet as I thought. I visit chats, a lot of the time no one responds to me. I just send out responses. It can be daunting. I have 4 children at home. 3 teenagers. We do not live in a giant house, but a 3 bedroom, one story,  square foot home where there really is no place to go to get absolute quiet.

So I try to stay up late, so upon slumber, I can have a moment to think. This throws off my rhythm. But, how else can quiet exist in a tight-knit family? Quarantine is difficult. But as with all aspects of this situation- doable. So I do. I am not a flashy teacher- never have been. But I do my best to keep lessons interesting and the mindfulness lessons integrated.

This is just a post, nothing of any consequence. I will not even Tweet it out widely. So most likely no one will read it. But it needed to be written. It needed to be posted. This #EduBlogYear journey is the second time I have embarked on daily writing, for a full year. It is hard but worth it. It is meaningful only to me. It is an outlet for my words that jumble and twist, inside me, until they are out.

That is the important thing about quarantine and distancing. Our outlets were removed. Our audible conversations have been muted. You could use Zoom with 'zoomtrollers' jumping in and hacking your conversation. I am just overwhelmed at the amount of negativity in the world that people need to break into someone else's conversation with porn and hate speech. I mean really?

But in any situation there are the opportunist, negative, jerks that have to ruin it for people. They are unhappy and they need to let out their frustration too, but the only way they know how is to attack. Like the virus, they are hateful attackers. But, when you think about it they are worse- for the virus is a survival strategist- they simply want to live, exist, thrive. Where the trolls want to cause mayhem and havoc. They are just mean.

So I end today, my just a post, with just an ending- be nice to one another. Store your baggage in an overhead compartment. Over your head. So if it shifts during flight- it lands on your noggin. Maybe if you are positive, you'll catch it or dodge its fall. But, if you are a troll or a negativity seeker- maybe it will just smack some sense into you.