I asked students what they thought expert meant, being perfect at something might feel like: They said expert is something you know a lot about, but also accepting you don't know everything. They also said that being perfect at something is impossible, because there are too many variables. All I can say is- I agree.
Permission Slip
I know I am a good teacher. Great, is a word that to me, evokes some kind of perfection. This I do not have- I make mistakes, I shy away from too much technology, and I focus my attention on the little things, small changes not big ones. Because, I feel that the large shifts can't occur, until the core is stabilized. If not, the quakes can me immeasurable.
I am not an expert on social emotional learning, in the mere fact I do not have a degree in psychology- yet. I am not an expert on all things education- not that I could be or want to be. I am great at a few things, above average at many things, and mediocre at some. I am not trying to be demeaning to myself at all- I am keeping it real.
My strength, my strongest teacher trait is I understand middle grades students, somehow I am the 'junior high student whisperer.'
I am just a teacher. I am not an administrator, school counselor or influencer/speaker on education. I focus more on my classroom than on bigger issues. I am a boots on the ground educator, in a classroom every day, interacting, reflecting with and learning from my students.
This is my tether to the larger landscape of our profession. This is my permission slip to contemplate and dismantle what I see as flaws in the system.
I want to understand why students behave the way they do, why they feel the way they do, and more importantly, how I can guide them in their adolescent endeavors.
We need to defeat defeated. Students often feel beat down, boxed in, over-extended, misunderstood, ignored and self-conscious. A state of mind, as an adolescent, I, as most of us, experienced every day when we were their age and even today.
The Stuff that Changes Us
Distance learning has magnified many of these emotions and negated some too.
I was curious about the trade-offs. How do students feel in this temporary shift from classroom to living room learning.
I wanted to know why, if they do, prefer their home-learning to my classroom. Or, why, if they do, miss our classroom community, and have a hard time accepting that we will no longer have that.
I sent out a survey to my students. I asked for brutal honesty and helpful hints to make next year better. What I got, was brutal honesty and helpful hints to make next year better.
In other words, they signed my permission slip. The following, and tomorrow's post, is an amalgamation of their responses. I used their words, their imagery, their vision.
Sponge and Mirror
I feel like a sponge. Just placed in a bucket to absorb as much water as I can- I'm saturated. I miss the interaction, camaraderie we have in our classroom. We would laugh and have fun with the content. That is what made it relevant. Now everything feels ordinary.
I don't have to get dressed, do my hair and feel comfortable in my own skin. I look in the mirror and even with messy hair and eye boogers I can finish my geometry homework. I like the no zero's aspect of learning and that we can turn stuff in late with no penalty.
I prefer to work at my own pace, I spend each day of the week on a different subject. This helps me organize my week. But, if I don't stay organized, I get lost mid-week and give up. I prefer physical assignments, not necessarily group work, but paper in front of me directions or using the makerspace to tinker and build something.
I miss the big picture. The taking everything we do individually and making something with it. Finding a way to connect everything together at the end of the week. Motivation is a struggle when I have a lot of pieces and no deeper set of instructions or guidance to put it all together. I know we have chats and conferences- but I still feel isolated.
Paint on the Canvas
The computer is like a paintbrush and Canvas (our district platform) the literal canvas- but my brush strokes seem more watercolor, runny and pastel, rather than vibrant colors. There seems like something is missing. The content is way easier, I get done really quickly then I don't really remember any of the information.
The workload is a lot simpler and I don't feel challenged. In class we are given a problem to solve- I feel challenged and awake, at home I feel half asleep and bored. I miss my friends yes, but I can talk to them on the phone. I guess I miss you joking around, I miss the interactions we had as a class- you always made us feel like a team.
A Beginners Mind
We are lucky because this content is easy. I shudder to think how it would be if we were learning Genetics or Human Anatomy in this format. I really did not like visual notes or on-line discussion questions, but now I miss them. I don't like having everything on the computer.
Responsibility of my actions and staying organized is something that is very difficult. I don't feel the need to get my stuff done on time, or to even spend much time thinking about the content. There doesn't feel like a reason to know this stuff. It feels like memorization not application. I miss doing stuff together as a class.
I hated stations. I loved labs. I loved makerspace stuff. But, having to work in groups was annoying, so I guess I prefer distance learning because now all the responsibility is on me. I don't have to rely on anyone else for my grade. Grades seem less important now- they don't matter, how can they?
I want to be in the classroom because it felt like an experience, an adventure. Now learning feels like a chore. Just something the government tells us we have to do. Choice is gone. I know I can draw or make a podcast, but I want to be able to do a puppet show or skit in front of the class.
We are all beginners at this distance learning stuff. Now that we are six weeks into it- its easier, but not fun at all. Just tedious. Next year, I hope we are in a classroom. Somewhere where we can use mindfulness, like you did to help us feel closer as a group. I miss the morning prompts and mindfulness discussions. It made me feel connected.
Full Speed Ahead
Nothing and everything to say. Students had a lot to say about distance learning, classroom learning, social-emotional learning, mindfulness and community. Tomorrow I will share their tips on how to make sure my classroom stays positive, mindful and fun next year.
What I found most interesting on part one of my survey- how much mindfulness was brought up. How much not having to feel self-conscious was mentioned. How feeling connected is missed. I totally expected the less work comments, the flexibility of grades responses, but never expected their desire for challenge and problem-solving.
See- learning is something they enjoy- the big picture is something they are seeking. Relationships are crucial, but individual, personal struggle and challenge is something they yearn for too. In other words, balance is everything.
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