The World We Live In
We are a society of talkers,
listeners, influencers, and agents of change: all with opinions and extraordinarily
strong beliefs. We are living in a country fractured, a world in disunity:
along political lines, social divides, and mindful partitions. We inhabit a
landscape where being rude and disrespectful is somehow acceptable and
accepted. Our words, actions and behavior are becoming blurred, we have lost
the comfortable and courteous norms, upon which we once revolved.
The interactions that kept our
society, kind and thoughtful. The niceties and politeness of yesteryear have
become either hyper-focused, with no margin for error or discomfort, or
evaporated into a normalcy of "tell it like it is," no matter how
that may make others feel. Trolls, ogres and demons of verse and comment, are
running rampant on social media. Not only are they looking for a fight, they
are geared up with insults and outrage- sometimes over something
well-warranted, but many times just for fun.
They appreciate and enjoy the
strife they unleash. This casual cruelty is their drug of
choice. Like a sweet tooth, urging a sugary fix. So how can we stay mindful
among the mindful less?
It is spring, the last quarter of
the school year. Standardized testing is in full swing and students are tired,
antsy and short-tempered. Teachers are frustrated, exhausted and cantankerous.
It takes a lot of effort this time of year, to see beyond the behavior and
recognize that students are frazzled and swamped. They may be behaving badly,
but they are behaving in a way they see others behaving- they feel justified.
If we simply punish or condemn
rather than redirect and model, they will not see the value in mindfulness. If
we respond with patience and compassion and explain why their behavior is
inappropriate, they will be much more likely to separate, what they see from
what they do. It takes restraint and composure, but if we invest in these
moments, we can begin to chip away at the roughness of attitude, that has taken
over our society.
Hallways and Classrooms
Students are burdened with end of
year activities, exams, and performances. They take their cue from us and when
teachers count down the days on the board, clear their walls and begin shutting
down- students will do the same. We have six weeks most of us- and we need to
keep our energy up, our actions positive and our mindsets mindful and engaged.
When we maintain our composure and posture, smile and stay upbeat and
respectful, students will feel connected and stay in their lane. They know the expectations;
they understand the classroom dynamic and goals- we just need to remind them
every now and then.
It should never be the norm for
teachers to interact disrespectfully with students or for students to think it
is alright to talk back and be rude to their teachers. Yet, with the world
being as addled with negativity, antagonism, and adversity as it is, the news
is riddled with stories of disdain and distrust in our schools.
The surge of suspicion and
discourtesy within our society at large is seeping into our classrooms and
hallways. Students are getting comfortable with the lack of respect.
Mindfulness is shaping a movement- it is beginning to be a ‘catch phrase’ but
what we need is for it to become a way of life, a core of our consciousness, a
habit.
Self-centeredness has become
ingrained within the You Tube videos and Instagram posts
that our children are watching every day. The memes and gifs are not of
positive quotes and actions, but silly and rude comments and behaviors. The
worst part, is that the behavior, although flippant and insolent, is recognized
as the ‘new normal.’
How can we get students and
teachers alike, to look outward, be aware of those around them, be mindful of other
feelings and mindset, when what we are being told repeatedly is normal, is
often impolite and selfish?
Combating the Surge
The only way is to get on social
media and champion kindness, everyday Tweet, Facebook, and Instagram positive
action. Write posts that inspire and defend decency and respect. Refuse to
retweet and share negative editorials and posts. The deprecation and
dubiousness flows, when we accept the agitation and rudeness, as anything but
what they are- attacks by trolls and ogres. What we need to do is shut them
down.
We cannot prevent them from saying,
writing, and sharing their awfulness, but we can refuse to support them and
prolong their impact. We can ignore them and send out our own positive
discourse instead.
We need people to feel the surge of
tolerance and decency. We do not need to agree, we simply need to make sure
that everyone’s voice is heard. If you want to discredit falsity and
antagonism, you must first hear it, understand it, and formulate a mindful
response. We need to respond not react. If we deliver a monologue- we force
others to listen and then agree or apologize.
But, if we speak meaningful
dialogue in multiple ways and time frames, we provide opportunities for others
to choose to take notice, receive and entertain our point of
view. If we refuse to step upon a soap box, but instead stand level with our
peers and neighbors, our utterances will be accepted as a part of the
conversation rather than a fringe viewpoint.
Casual Cruelty is insidious because
it is often unnoticeable. Depravity and insensitivity are dangerous because we
often feel they are temporary. Impoliteness sneaks into a Tweet or post, it
makes us feel empowered and emblazoned, because we know it hurts. When we feel
under attack and on the defense, we look for weapons. But that is its charm. It
makes us feel justified. When in actuality it perpetuates the cruelty on both
sides.
Most of us enter momentary
mindfulness to contradict, but what we must do is submerge ourselves, deep up
to the neck, in diligence, alertness and circumspection- we must never swim
beyond it. If we make the normal, acceptance and forethought, the negativity
will announce itself long before it takes hold. This way we can shake it off.
Cruelty can be deliberate, often it
is, but it is also, unintentionally frequent, because we have allowed it to
take hold. Our children have accepted it as part of their daily routine. Not
necessarily being mean but succumbing to meanness.
It is the last semester or quarter
for most of us. As we stand in the hallways and interact with our students, we
need to see the populace, as open-minded, flexible human beings, each with the
opportunity to rise above the corruption of negativity.
They are not simply 1’s and 0's
running across a computer screen, they are not pre-programmed software.
Disrespect is not an error in the hardware, it is a misconnect in the data- let
us hit ALT, CTRL, DEL and reboot the system, re-set the code, and eliminate the
glitches.
Humanity is inherently good; we all
want to fit in and be loved. But, as of late, being mean is popular, it has
gone viral. So, let us take back our normal, restart the system- and upload
mindfulness and gratitude…. beep, beep, beep, a flicker sparks and here comes
the screen, alive with potential, what will appear on yours.
Postscript- this post is about social media and its influence on our lives. Deeper conversations need to be had, by parents, educators, and mentors. That will be a much longer post indeed.
But what we can do to start a
positive wave is to be mindful and honest. More importantly, to share our
opinions and accept criticism. Genuine and purposeful honesty is a good thing-
listening with compassion is just as important.
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