A Shift in Perspective -The Covid Diaries #29

I sit, watching my cat sleep in the warmth of the winter sun. It makes his ginger fur glisten. My kitten, white and furry, nestles beside him. It is the quiet part of the day. The morning is a bustle of energy- they topple and scurry- loud thunderous tustle breaks the silence. The early afternoon is calm and they rest. Then late-afternoon the craziness begins again and cat toys are strewn all over the house. We have had our three cats about six weeks now. They have added a new energy- it's comforting.

I am calmer these days- I tend to sit at my desk working on classroom stuff, or reading. I switch my venue from cozy corner to sofa- bed to desk chair. Our house tends to be quiet, an occasion video game yelp from one of my boys rooms- but generally quiet. We meet up for dinner- watch our favorite shows or play board games- but generally we are in our bubble of alone time during the day. Quarantining has definitely created an energy flow both calm and reassuring- yet laced with a burst of high movement and collision. I think of it like a giant lava lamp- melding and stretching- melting and separating.

I have started collecting things that remind me of childhood- stuffed animals and a few dolls. I have taken out my 1990's collection of Beanie Babies and put it on display. My office is a cornucopia of comfort and memory. It adds another layer of calm and reflection. Making my new house (lived here mopt enven 5 months yet) a home of all of our comfort materials- my boys Lego and their own collections- has helped us jumping in and out of isolation bearable. I like to be home. I do not like going to restaurants or big venues. I prefer the womb-like safety of my home.

This last week or so we have been virtual- and I have had pneumonia (for the first time in 2 years). Thank goodness the two cincided because sick days are minimal and being able to virtually teach has been a blessing. Hoarse and tired but on the mend. I am looking forward to getting back in the classroom with my High-Schoolers (who switch courses in a week, finals in a week) and my middle schoolers (who I have for another 4 weeks). I will get two new classes of high schoolers in a week. It is so weird to have two different schedules. But, it keeps me on my toes. At least I get to keep my biology HS courses. Just switching flavors.

So Covid has changed a lot in my life- in all our lives.

It is going to stick around awhile I fear- but we are all adapting. We are protecting ourselves, as we see fit. 

For this I am so blessed to have a beautiful home, a wonderful family and the opportunity to do what I love.

The High School, Middle School Bridge #27

Disclaimer

I am a middle school teacher. I have always taught junior high. But now I teach both- high school and middle school. I have student-taught in elementary classrooms and have observed many grade levels. This post is about my recent encounters, peppered with what I know from previous experiences with students. Every level requires slightly different tactics and strategies, but every grade, every subject area when given the time to build opportunities for self-reliance, self-advocacy and self-confidence, will help create a well-balanced learner who moving forward, will possess the skills to be successful.

Commonality

The core is the same, curiosity, eagerness, a bit of distraction. One may be smaller in stature, however, when you take the time to talk to them, ask questions and listen to their stories- you find that elementary students are very similar, to their taller counterparts. The biggest difference I find, is the affection. Younger students, even after only a few days of teaching them, hug you. Some middle schooler's hug, but only at the end of the year, generally. I taught Elementary STEAM Summer Camp last week and the attachment and endearment from many of the students was outward and steadfast. I loved it. I am used to camaraderie and community, with a bubble of standoffishness.

At the end of the school year, with my students, there were smiles and "we will miss yous", but mostly waves. 7th graders tend to be more stoic and non-emotional. But after summer camp, there were a lot of hugs and tearful good byes, after only a week. It was adorable and the kids were so outgoing and collaborative- a beautiful thing to see. Now, there were some disagreements and a few arguments between them, but overall, they got along great- these 112 students were from fourteen different elementary schools throughout our district and they came together and learned science through cooperation and collaboration. Cooperative endeavors and collaborative action. Some harked from affluent neighborhoods, others from low SES communities, but it didn't matter- at the STEAM camp they were from the same locality, the same region called 4th and 5th grade.

Just like students from different grade levels and different schools, teachers of primary, elementary, middle and high school differ in many ways, yet we all have certain things in common. We are all looking for strategies that work. We do not get on social media to troll or attack one-another, at least the majority of us don't. We join chats and share our ideas through Twitter, not because we can, but because we have the strong, deep seeded urge, to learn and grow from alternate perspectives. What makes education great is educators who look outward, who are willing to take-risks and share their experiences. We are a giant collective, a global phenom, not because we share, but because we listen.

Uniqueness

I observe students a lot. I appreciate the time I have in a student-driven classroom to not speak. I enjoy listening and guiding with simplicity. Of course younger students need more instructions and more specificity, when it comes to how to do things, however, they also deserve the same student-centered design. They deserve choice of product, the ability to tinker and design independently and work cooperatively with their peers. When we provide these opportunities they step up in a beautiful way. Many need the guidance older students don't but when this supervision also allows for independence, all students thrive- because they get to imagine their learning as their own and this gives them the reigns, this lets them climb on and see the view from the saddle, rather then the stirrups.

The way elementary students collaborate is much different than the way middle grade students do. Younger students all jump in equally, they want to handle and manipulate everything, have a say in every aspect because to them it is not seen as learning- it is internalized as a game, a playing field that needs to be conquered. There is no grade attached for them, there is no evaluation, only self-satisfaction of accomplishment. I watched these amazing 4th and 5th graders at camp struggle and get defeated, while a few shut down, most talked about it, figured it out together. A skill universal yes, but often in elementary students it is about "me" not "us." They built bottle rockets, marble mazes, programmed Sphero's and Ozobots, and they got artsy with masks and slime. But, overall, they tinkered, designed and created some awesome things because they did not see the tasks as work, but as fun. Me became us and tasks became play, with a little bit of work added in.

Now, in my 7th grade classroom, there is a lot of communal activities and collaborative lessons- but the underlying focus for most students is the grade. How accurate do I need to be, how much detail needs to be added to the reflection, how am I going to get full-credit? It is very difficult to get my students to see beyond the grade sometimes. When they ask me, "what type of grade is this other or minor?"- I just say "yes." But, once they get the materials, they begin to tinker, design and build: models, diorama's, 3D giant cells- they get engrossed in the process and the grade fades in importance. I have spoken to teachers of 4th and 5th graders and they have told me that, they do ask about grades, but not as much because what the grade will be, or how to get the A, is not what they feel is important. They are focused more on if they are doing it right, because they want approval above a good grade. This I noticed at the STEAM camp, they were not looking for personal satisfaction, but more for outside approval.

This I witness every summer when I get the opportunity to work with 4th and 5th graders. There is no grade per se in camp, but there are points and these points add up and at the end of the week the winning team gets medals. There is an underlining competitiveness- but it is quickly shadowed with "What do you think? Does this look cool? Look what I made?" While, my 7th graders during STEAM activities are saying "Did I meet all the requirements? Does this look like an A project?" The biggest difference I saw when it comes to approval, is 7th graders are looking for self-satisfaction and recognition while 4th and 5th graders are looking for approval- for acceptance. What a difference a few years makes. What happens to change the focus from fun to learning?

Bridging the Differences to Create More Uniqueness

So why does this matter? The younger grades of course have different gradients of the 4th and 5th grade mentality, while high-school students are centered more on grades and GPA. So how can we bridge the gap? How can we make learning more about self-satisfaction and less about requirements and ranking?  In the higher grade levels, it is never not going to be about grades- it can't be, because these grades get you into a good college. Your GPA is a mark of passage, a calling card for admission boards. But, how much knowledge are these students actually retaining? How much rote memory is replacing problem-solving, independent thinking and self-advocacy? Sometimes, facts and data need to be given quickly, but what they do after they memorize is what's important- how they apply their new evidence, details and knowledge is what makes 'big picture' thinking emerge.

Design and Implementation 

I find that between all students I have observed and been able to teach there are a few strategies that work across all grade levels. These strategies not only promote 21st century skills, independence and cooperation, but they also merge the need for approval with the desire to grow and learn. The simple may seem like a cop out to some- but not all lessons need to be elaborate, not all class periods need to be exciting. Productive and purposeful, yes. Engaging and relevant, yes. So how can we keep our day to day activities meaningful, beneficial and gratifying, but still, student-driven and student-centered? We as educators need to plan- be flexible and above all else, be willing to loosen the reigns and let them roam free. We need to step back and let them have more control- routine is great, necessary even, but flexibility negates compliance and inspires innovation. For me, the most important strategy is independence. Don't assign projects with specific products- assign goals with certain outcomes but an endless array of presentation and demonstration- choice over consistency.

We must also design our classrooms, not just our lessons to be student-centered. Make the space kid friendly, engaging and simple. Colorful and attractive, but with splashes of intensity. Too many things on the walls may look attractive, but it can be distracting and it also makes the space yours- not theirs. Leave a lot of empty space- let them decide what to put up on the walls. Provide lots of options of seating: tables round and square, standing desks, cushions and rugs to squat on. Flexible seating both physically and socially based, will create a communal feel and will allow students to take responsibility of their learning, behavior and time-management. This is what I feel is often set aside, student self-regulation opportunities- but if true learning is going to take place, students need to learn how to self-advocate and self-regulate. Responsibility is learned, compliance is assigned.

When we clear the learning space- they get very creative and then the space becomes an art studio, a science lab, a beautiful landscape of their choosing, rather than a structured venue of our comfortability level. We as educators want to feel comfortable and in control- but when we leave our classrooms free of self-centeredness, but rather construct it with a little bit of personal uncomfortability- this is when growth happens. For our students and for us. We feel more confident in our teaching and behavior management and students become more self-reliant and can regulate their interactions and progress. This is when we are forced to submit to the unpredictability of education. Again it is not giving up authority or discipline, it is accepting nonconformity and just a little dissension. Dissension leads to ingenuity and structure while it focuses us towards innovation and change, also shows us the edge and we can choose to steer clear or take the leap. Strict routines however, squash both.

If we set the guidelines, model positivity, trust and respect, reinforce the routine but also provide wiggle room for change and detours- we will be happier as educators. We all want to feel in charge because then we feel learning is taking place. But often when we have every moment planned out and we follow a specific path, with no exceptions- the classroom becomes compliant and predictable. Change things up- have an exit ticket rather than a warm-up, have students purposeful talk rather than write reflections, provide a makerspace of various materials rather than a bucket of specific ones. Give students the opportunity to build, record, write, draw or even act out their knowledge. While some students will shy away from unpredictability, it is important that they see it on occasion because life is very much unpredictable. We as educators will be there to relieve any of their concerns by guidance and nudging into independence.

Every student regardless of grade level will benefit from a student-centered, student-designed space. Where some age groups need more guidance and routine, they will benefit from opportunities to be independent. Opportunities to make a mess. Learning should be messy- our brains all work differently, all respond to challenges in our own unique way- so if we confine our lessons and classrooms into how we think, what makes us comfortable, we are going to lose many students. But if we make them more flexible and student-centered- they will connect to their learning because it will be personal, rather than general and ordinary. Engagement is intimate, growth is particular to oneself- and if we truly desire engagement and growth, we need to be inclusive of all peculiarities and oddities of thought, processing and imagination. A classroom full of collisions, discombobulation and reassembly is a classroom both personal and communal because learning is messy- so get ready educators- get your shovel and rake and get ready to till the soil, plant some seeds and step back and let your garden flourish.

Looking At An Eclipse- Captain Crunch Telescope #25

 Depression is real. It is not easily erased or suddenly overcome. It takes time, patience and a glimpse of what lies ahead. For, when we are dragged down, into the darkest of caves, we may hear voices around us, but we only see the rock: both slippery and moss covered. They seem treacherous and impenetrable. Although, if we just turned around, we could see the way out, our feet stand firm. Our eyes locked on the trap, that lies before us, entombs us. I have been there many times and only because those around me, made their voices louder than the darkness, did I turn and find my escape. 

Eclipses

Eclipses, an obscuring of light, a shadow over an object, a blockage of illumination. They are a sight to see when they are high above us. We can't alter them or avoid them, instead we have embraced them. We travel long distances to be able to encounter them first hand. To us, mere mortals, the moon and sun appear to come into such tight contact, that they seem to merge. I remember as a child, poking a small hole in a cereal box and going outside to take a peak, at one of these events. There really weren't any glasses available to the public back then, so we had to make our own makeshift optical devices. Every child in my class, was told to bring in an empty cereal box, to create our personal telescopes.

    

With Captain Crunch or Fruit Loops boxes in hand, we ventured, onto the grass at school, our teacher explaining the science. I have a vivid memory of feeling very separated from the occurrence, as I peered through the pin-sized opening. The box, smelled sweet of cereal remnants, distracting me. I wanted so much to feel the shadow cross over me, feel like the Earth was disappearing for a moment. But, that cereal box, held me fast to the planet. It was a view both accessible and safe, but guarded and remote. Now, as an adult, these eclipses, both literal and metaphorical, feel more scientific somehow, more meaningful when I come into contact with them. These transitions of light: alter perception, heighten curiosity and ultimately create realignment. They often transfix, but they also kindle our outlook, highlighting the need for change.

Obscuration does not only happen during celestial events of course. Shading and dimming can take place anytime, anywhere. When we lose sight of our achievements, walk away from our dreams, hesitate to take a risk. My grandmother always called these momentary or prolonged 'fits of fancy,' bone orchards. The cracks in the earth, from lack of rain, the places where we wear ourselves thin. Where we let fear choke us from behind. Fear is not something to be despised, it is a lifeline. It directs us away from danger and pain. It is a part of us, down to a cellular level. We have to coax it, appease it and befriend it. This is when it becomes beneficial rather than terminal.

Labyrinths

To avoid the labyrinths, we may come across, we have to keep a map close at hand. We have to stay on the path. Once you wander off into the wilderness, you can encounter nature at its purest, which is beautiful. But, you can also run into a bear or a mountain lion and if you are alone, they can trap you, in the farthest corner of your trepidation. We all feel this creeping, stinging feeling of certain collapse. We all make a wrong turn and become a statue, even if it is temporary, in the midst of the bends and twists, of the labyrinth of our thoughts. Every day we conquer the mazes placed before us- these lessons and puzzles we must solve to continue. They are placed before us not to trick us, but to test our resolve. For how can we make sense of the world, without the trials and tribulations of being human. But the entanglement, the snarl of self-deprecation, can place us smack in the middle of Mordor, the Forbidden Forest, or at the dinner table of the Queen of Hearts. To steer clear, we must find our own happiness, hold fast to our own grace, our own intentions.

Why take the first thought, best thought approach, when you can take a few more steps up the incline and see all the avenues. When we hyper focus on what we want and disregard what we need, we never feel fulfilled. We take comfort in knowing where we are going, but this can blind us, to alternative roads that may actually be less bumpy, filled with less potholes. The bog sets in, when we try to hard, to keep up with those around us. When we place ourselves in someone else's shadow. This quagmire is self afflicted. We can only escape the slough, if we choose to. We have to want to escape. We have to ask for help. The densest marsh, however,  can easily be sidestepped, if we see its muck, not as a trap. But, instead we use the mud to form stepping stones. The structures that heighten our lowland path, to an elevation both sunny and inviting.

Putting Down the Cereal Box

An eclipse does not have to separate us, isolate us, distance us from the action. The light may be blinding and we may have to look away temporarily, but if we put down the cereal box, we can see the positive effects much clearer. Observing from afar can be beneficial, it can be the coax you need, to allow fear to guide you into the flare. But viewing the world through a pin-hole is limiting. Why erect edges around vast opportunity? Why buffer the sounds of encouragement? Because the cereal box feels safe. It reminds us of childhood, both fruity and sweet. 

Our confidence is heightened, when we can see the bright colors, of the cartoons, on the outside of the box and enjoy the memories of youth. But, then we must place the empty cardboard, in the recycling bin, knowing we have gained nourishment, albeit minimal. Cereal may be sugary and provide us with some energy, but it is quickly burned calories. We need to see them for what their worth and then look forward and revel in the notion, that our next meal, will be a juicy burger, or piece of chocolate cake.

A School Culture- Tales from the Student Side #24

 This story is a little non-fiction and a lot fiction. It integrates what I have discovered from talking to my students, what happened to me growing up with moving so frequently, and what I imagine someone would be going through after Harvey. I never had to rebuild after a hurricane, but fires and earthquakes shaped my landscape. Either way, changing schools is hard any way you look at it. School culture impacts these fragile students as soon as they enter the building. As a teacher, I constantly am reminded, with every new face that enters my classroom, that they may put on a brave face, but inside they are vulnerable and scared. I am determined to make connections with every student as soon as I meet them. I want them to feel that what they hear about our school is true, we are a safe, positive place to learn.

Observation and Imagination 

The alarm clock chimes....6:00 am. Just enough time for them to grab a quick shower and bite to eat, before they head out to the bus stop. It feels so normal in a way, getting ready for school, yet so foreign, almost surreal, after what they just went through. They sit, eating a banana, imagining this new school is happy and fun. They are a bit worried, fretting about meeting new people, they often struggle to fit in.

A new living arrangement, new hand me downs, a fresh layer of both anticipation and anxiety. They make their way to a corner, inhabited by the 'regulars', they seem comfortable there. Several different groups have formed, each with a different energy. The bus stop is their first impression of the populace, so far so good, they think, no one has noticed me yet. It is a warm September morning, and the dialogue is centered around, whose house flooded and whose didn't. They are comparing notes.

While some are in conversation, others are new to this arena, like themselves, and are standing alone, hesitant to join the crowd. They, just stand quietly, listening, noticing that these kids have gone through the same thing they have. They braved a hurricane, lost their possessions and are still unsure of their near future, but they know for today, they are attending school.

They have heard good things about this school, but to them it is just hearsay. They won't feel comfortable until they have made it to all their classes, met their teachers and know that they are safe. They are mere observers right now, perched just on the outskirts waiting for eye contact to lure them in. They imagine making a friend today. They miss their usual, normal routine. The familiar faces they are used to.

The Wider View

The building looks huge, as the bus rolls into the back-parking lot. They scan their surroundings, noticing just a few trailers. Their old school had many, almost lining the practice field. It is still dark out; the lights are clouded by a thin layer of fog. For a moment, it feels mysterious and they have the urge to turn and run in the other direction. They don't. They keep walking with the crowd, they still have not been acknowledged. Then as they are funneled through the main doors, a smiling face is greeting students as they enter. Students are hugging one another and several adults that are in the main entrance hall. 

They stop in their tracks. Causing several students to collide behind them. A gentle reach, a friendly repositioning and before them, leaning down, a sympathetic, loving face, eye contact, and kind words. Somehow, they know I am new here, they think. They continue to smile, "Welcome, we are so happy you are here today," this puts them at ease. They feel a connection to this place instantly. They feel relieved and calmer. Now all they must do is find the strength to speak. "Thank you," they say shyly. "Can I help you find your classroom?" "Thank you, that would be cool." The day begins for them, not with an adult leading them down the hallway, but a fellow student. They have just met their first friend.

A Strange New World

That first day is long behind them. It is the week before Thanksgiving. They have made many friends. Their teachers know them by name, make eye contact and most of them are jovial and happy. Some classrooms are boring, but they muddle through. Others are full of life: every student a giant pine, spreading its branches. Creating a forest through the trees. Collectively, sheltering one another and working collaboratively to keep the dense forest alive and thriving. It is these habitats they appreciate. Forests prosper and flourish because of the relationships, the balance, the equilibrium. This harmony is constantly challenged, it needs work to maintain itself, but somehow it progresses, if it is left alone to do so. This school to them, feels like a giant forest, evergreen and ever mindful.

This school where they have found a niche, a personal terrain, is a positive one. There are places where the energy can be negative. There are bullies, but they are recognized, like predators and are dealt with. There is no territory that is perfect. There will always be mean people. Unfriendly people. But, here, the mindful, nice people, far outweigh the negative ones. This is felt everywhere. Especially in the hallways as they are addressed at every doorway and in their classrooms where teachers have expectations and are consistent with their behavior. This creates a familiarity both comforting and secure. 

The most important aspects of a positive school culture, for them, is acceptance, acknowledgement and awareness. All of which permeate these hallways. But, in their eyes, there is room for improvement. A forest can only prevent blight and deforestation, if it never takes its survival for granted. A school’s culture can only blossom and expand if its strength becomes galvanized in continual community and character driven interaction. If doors are open, adults are smiling and networking; with students and each other. There needs to be a symbiosis both endearing and welcoming that takes place. Each member connected in a web of positivity.

Nature's Tapestry: A School's Culture

A school, like nature, is a living, breathing entity. Each part integral to its survival. A cacophony, of noise, focus and ideas, swirling and integrating. The vibration of many thoughts, forming one. A chain reaction of cause and effect. While some are privileged, others hindered. While some flourish, others struggle. This disadvantage can occur, not only by lack of monetary means. But, just as devastatingly, by a disregard of mindful awareness. 

This blight, disregard and disassociation, ravishes the vegetation causing a trophic cascade, a destructiveness seemingly irreversible. A mildew that creeps in often unnoticed. This infestation is silence, seeped in negativity. A contamination of spirit. A scourge not only damaging the flow of energy, but the will to overcome its halting. If we remain quiet when such an affliction occurs, we allow it to devour us from the inside out. We must take a deep look at our culture, every day. We must eliminate the pessimism. Extinguish the annulling, invalidating speech. Once the words are spoken they poison joy and corrupt even the most idealistic of people.

However, with the reintroduction of key stone species' and balancing factors, a healing process can provide a rebirth. Even the smallest of changes can cause a positive domino effect. Remember that first moment when they entered the building? They were put at ease by the genuine, honest words of a fellow student. This needs to occur every day, like a circadian rhythm.

Adults need this same encouragement. If the reticence is replaced by generosity, the spread of negativity will wane. In the immortal words of Phil Collins "You can't hurry love." No matter how long it takes, you must keep trying. It is give and take. It is words and action. It is a flow of energy, like in that thriving forest, where every organism plays a part. You remove a prominent species and collapse is imminent. Heal the habitat and the ecosystem will recover. It all starts with a choice: one to make a difference.

The Next Chapter

The bell rings and as students pack up for the holiday break, they are excited to have a week off. They look around their classroom and remember the first time they entered it, all those months ago. They feel comfortable here. Safe here. The hearsay was right, they smile, they exit the room in a pack of friends. They make their way down the hallway and out to the bus.

The building doesn't feel so big now. They wave goodbye to their friends and make their way to their bus. Several teachers and administrators are gathered nearby. "Have a great Thanksgiving," they say with a joyful smile. "We will see you in a week." They return the gesture with a "You too." and with no anxiety, they happily climb aboard. Knowing when they return, this safe haven will welcome them with open arms.

Ekitai Rashku #23

 Ekitai Rashku a Japanese phrase meaning “to want to shout out.” Yet, interpreted or translated as – “like liquid.” Either to me works. I choose to be solvent, flexible, fusible. Staying open, eager, wishful- even a little zealous. I can fill a container, push at the sides, leave a mark. But I, like a true fluid, resist any force tending to cause one layer to move over another. I stretch, bolster and amplify- I expand and I inevitably, retract daily. But this resistance is offered, only while movement is taking place. Thus, I never stay still for long.

The moment I forget my imaginative heritage, my little pieces of paper, the ones I hide behind something more exigent, the liquid becomes viscous. I fight the adhesiveness. Feeling fastened and tacky, I struggle, I get tenacious and courageous. But I stay in place, clinging to nectar of opportunity halted. The more you labor, the more you get swallowed by the goo. The more you are look at the fixed, the less you agitate.

Stay liquid, learn not to resist the glutinousness. Slowing to the discontinuous- however frustrating, it is necessary. Listening for the intermittent, leads us to the persisting. The continuous little pieces of paper, the ones we hide behind the more exigent. The ones that fall to the floor, as we open a dusty book of goals, we placed on a shelf. The shreds of what we were so focused on, a few months back. The glitter of lost hope. 

They might be frayed and tattered- but they were never disposed of. Just hidden, out of focus, a little blurred in the pinpoint, of requirement and predicament. Dig them out, slide them to a center, make a giant pile (if there are many). If there are few, create a mosaic, both motley and tessellating, like a vibration of the past- can you hear it? Feel it? Then stop struggling and accept the viscous honey. Its sweet with endeavor.

Here, in this moment- think it over. Find the resolve to agitate. No joke, nothing is free. Time being the most expensive. Yet, its affordable, if we budget. 

This last week has been very hectic, nothing syrupy but definitely, mucilaginous (I love this word). It reminds me of Metamucil the fibrous supplement. An aid in the unclogging, essentially. I utilized the tool of extrication this week. I had to make room for the uncomfortableness of recognition, the requirement of compensation and the joy of mentorship. I had to unclog and unsettle- and unencumber mind, spirit and body.

Accepting acknowledgement has always been difficult for me, especially when I yearn for it, yet when I receive it, I tend to underplay it. But, inside I am screaming, Ekitai Rashku. As Sally Field so eloquently said at the Oscar’s in 1985 “You like me, you really like me.” I was one of many, yet it felt personal. I felt appreciated and for a long time, I didn’t. It means a lot coming from parents. It means a lot- that I was considered worthy.

I worked many hours beyond the school day, morning and afternoon practices- three nights at the STEAM center, a Saturday tournament, in which I hosted at my school. Yet, I also had the opportunity, to follow and mentor my team. I got to see each of my teams play and watch their synergy and dedication. I got to host, but also mentor. So, it was a great day. 

Sunday morning, exhausted, I get to reflect by writing here- one of my two blogs that some people read. Now that is definitely honey. Silent approval. 

I tend to write about the struggles. We all feel the viscosity. But we also feel the fluidity, the liquid, the freedom, we have to fill the container, coat the sides, stretch ourselves. We also have the ability, to stay calm, undisturbed and stay stagnate and undecided. Filling the container but accepting our vessel. The thing about vessels is, they are meant for transport. For traveling, for movement, for a destination. 

They are the bearers of liquid and if Ekitai Rashku is truly our nature- we have to have a way to channel it. We have to have an arteriole motive (see what I did there?). We must construct a vast network of give and take. We have to over-extend, become solitary and then sit back and submerge ourselves, in the luscious, ichorous, aqueous, solvent. Whether we free style, wade or bathe- we have to swim. 

This week I paddled, floated on my back as I slept, and let the current carry me to Sunday. I opened many a book, let the little pieces of fall- created a mosaic, that at first seemed messy and discombobulated, yet at weeks end- as I take a long look at the cracks and colorful tiles, is very much concise and calculated. 

In the moment we may feel like a molecule swishing and circulating- but if we relax and let the liquid elevate, even become a little viscous, we will see we are essential -maybe not a keystone to many, but definitely a keystone to some. On occasion, we choose to be anchored, settle, float to the bottom. But, when we look up- we see the translucency and we know if push off from solidity, we will find the flow of liquidity. This week, I was zealous, stubborn, purposeful and mellifluous- and here I am- eager for the next.

Out of the Mouth of a Disney Princess #19

I grew up with Disney Movies. The era of Escape to Witch Mountain, Freaky Friday (Jodi Foster version) and The Cat from Outer Space, come to mind first. But, I watched the earlier live action movies just as much- That Darn Cat, The Parent Trap with Haley Mills, and Pollyanna. Strong female characters that helped me see my strength and gumption.

The animated princess tales started long before my time. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella. Damsels in distress. Then came the 90's films Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas. Strong female characters again back in fashion. The most recent Disney or Pixar films focusing less on the damsel in distress and more on the self-reliant, self-confident female roles like Frozen, Brave, and Moana.

I like seeing the strong female roles. I appreciate the portrayal of problem-solvers, inventors and creators of our own destiny. Just a thought going through my mind lately. Reminding me that we need to keep pushing our females students in math and science. To show them how strong they are. To remind them of the amazing feats and innovations the world has and will have because of women.

I'm just saying. Out of the Mouth of a Disney Princess- most quotes you see are all about sunshine and happiness. 

"If You Dream A Thing More Than Once, It's Sure To Come True." — Aurora

 “Where There Is Kindness, There Is Goodness. And Where There Is Goodness, There Is Magic.” — Cinderella

“Let Your Power Shine.” — Rapunzel

all inspiring quotes for sure. 

But my favorite are about doing, accomplishing, being active participants.

"The only way to get what you want in this world is through hard work." — Tiana

Lesson: The things you want in life aren't going to be handed to you, but hard work does pay off.

"No, I will not stop. For every minute for the rest of my life, I will fight." — Rapunzel

Lesson: Never give up.

"There comes a day when I don't have to be a princess. No rules, no expectations. A day where anything can happen. A day where I can change my fate." — Merida

Lesson: You control your destiny.

I have just been thinking about this lately.

Iron Clad Momentum #18

There is a cold lurking- it tickles and aches. I never feel quite warm. Our campus is in an old factory and its drafty. The furnace struggles - as we do to keep momentum. To stay active and energetic. Albuquerque is not as cold as many areas these days. But its a dry, deep, guttural cold. It makes you feel heavy. Feet sliding across the panels of the wood floor. Students shuffling and dragging from class to class.

Sniffles and coughs. Its rarely silent. But, most are here. Trudging through. Students are active and learning in class- quiet and lackadaisical. Its a weird juxtaposition. They seem Zombie like as their corner the hallways. Not too much lingering. But you hear activity and conversations from most classrooms. Potential energy to kinetic energy very obviously transferring.

Long weekends usually create an ambiance of tiredness. This is recognizable.

Many absent.

Minds not necessarily on full throttle.

I made it a quiet catch up- retake a quiz to get an A- open note redo day.

I think we all needed it.

To not have to interact or converse.

Just to gather momentum- the iron clad momentum we embrace every day as

educators and students

It is hard some days- but things come full tilt- tomorrow we will be more energetic after the hibernation day 

Identity: Helping Students Find Their Uniqueness #15

My name Melissa lends itself to many nicknames: Missy, Mel, even Liz to name a few. When I was in grade school, we moved around a lot. I never quite fit in. Stayed long enough to not get teased anymore- then we'd move. I was not a social butterfly- more of a wallflower. I have Dyslexia and I struggle with eye contact and conversation. In other words, I stayed to myself and in the 1970's and 1980's you were forced into a clique. If you didn't find one- you were left stranded and defenseless. 

For some reason I chose Liz as my nick name. It was original in my classroom, as there was already another Melissa. She proudly held the title of Melissa. So Liz it was. I wrote it on my papers, I corrected my teacher when she called me anything else. I was insistent. But, in Catholic Schools in the 1970's and 1980's- they were anything but lenient and open-minded. So I got reprimanded a lot. Just for being me.

I was quirky. I saw the world differently. I never tried to blend in or conform- step into the shadows yes, but never hold to, keep up or be in accordance with anyone else. I guess looking back, that could have been why I never fit into a clique in my elementary K-8 years. I just wanted to be myself and myself was bothersome and ornery.

When I was released from my parochial prison, and made it to a public high school, things changed dramatically. There were other quirky people who thought like me, dressed like me, had weird hobbies and passions- just like me. We gravitated towards one another. The clique organically formed a union of similarities and acceptances. It is a time when I finally accepted who I was and learned to appreciate my peculiarities. 

I should have been able to be me. Flamboyant or muddled. Unconventional and eccentric. Now I was never outwardly loud or the center of attention but in my mind I was a wild female stallion amongst tamed horses. I felt caged in a stall. Forced to watch the other less adversarial counterparts. I did not misbehave, I just insisted in not conforming- but I guess to my teachers that was misbehaving. So none of them liked me. Flashback- mean words, eye rolling, ignoring me- these were my punishments.

So, early on I knew I wanted to be a teacher. An educator in middle grades- those 3 years where one feels abandoned, awkward and admonished. I knew when I was 11- I needed to create a place for as many students as possible to let their creative, beautiful, unique flag fly. I needed to make sure they had a voice- that I let them speak their piece, even if I did not like their opinion. Honesty is always the best policy, even if it stings a bit. For we get better as educators when we illicit feedback.

The thing is, in middle school sometimes they aren't quite sure how to be themselves. They feel hormonal and strange. They are experiencing new feelings and new situations. No longer under the wing of the same teacher all day- like a cocoon. They feel thrown to the wolves- not in a pack but being tracked so to speak. So it is our job as middle school teachers to help them find their den. Help them be alright with the strangeness of it all.

I share a lot of stories about my youth and how I found my clique. That sometimes we have to feel on the outside of the bubble to find the wand and mixture to create new ones. Not all bubbles last, not all bubbles make it to flight- some pop on impact. But, as all children know- we keep blowing bubbles until the sky is full and glistening- iridescent and filmy. Some disappear into the sunlight- others leave a residue in our wake. Bubbles are unpredictable yet predictable. I tell my students "You have the wand and soapy suds- keep making bubbles."

There are many strategies you can read about- SEL, mindfulness, Character Building to name a few. But, honestly, the pure, unadulterated way to bring students out of their shell and interacting with their peers is to let them. Let them have conversations and play a bit. Give them opportunities to be themselves- be quirky, ask silly questions, make students laugh- be different. Because when we are allowed to be ourselves we start to believe in ourselves. We start to see how our differences make us individuals who can fit in when we want and stand alone when we want.

Nicknames, strange utterances, cosplay even- this is how we find ourselves. As far as activities and classroom lessons- choice and freedom of assignments offers those who are artistic or love to read, play an instrument, athletic, engineers and everything in between- find an outlet. Offer clubs. In the past I have had Comic Book Club, Pokemon Club, Lego Club, Mario Smash Bros. Club- Poetry Club- the list goes on. It brought together a group who needed to find one another. It was amazing weekly to just watch them shine.

I know every teacher out there wants to help their students thrive. Sometimes we forget to pause and let them be kids- at least in middle school. We have such a pace we keep we forget to slow down sometimes and just let them be kids. Childhood is topsy turvy, bumpy, and tumultuous- remember yours? Maybe yours was not strife like mine- but I am sure you noticed those students who did struggle. Remember as Ferris Bueller famously said "If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Dragonfly and Unicorn #13

I love dragonflies- they are good luck and you see them a lot around here in New Mexico. Chilly peppers too. A simple image that just calms the soul. Like unicorns and fairies. Mystical and mysterious- yet comforting. I ride passenger side on my way to work and home- and as I travel down the streets of Albuquerque, I love the individuality, art, statues and colorful murals that don our city. Each a reminder that someone slowed down and added it to our home turf.

The mountains edge in around us, like a warm hug. Often snow capped and awe inspiring. Lifting up the bustle of every day life. Cars speed by, always in a hurry. Red lights mean - one more coming through- not stop. You have to slow your roll to make it through commutes. Be ready to just wait a few seconds before pulling through an intersection at a green. A few moments before a left turn. You get used to it.

Like I have gotten used to these last six months- the elevation and dryness. It is very much a part of the culture. Wide roads and iron footed drivers. But the best parts of this city are the ways in which the residents adapt. Help one another. Seek outdoor calm. Remember to say thank you. It is a city smaller than most, less densely populated than most. Yet, more full of generosity and kindness than most.

It is a dragonfly- soaring and nurturing. It is a unicorn- flamboyantly and unconditionally honest and loud. It thrives off its quirkiness and pride. It is colorful and noisy. Many of my students believe this city to be boring- as we were discussing in class today. I told them I have travelled the world- I have lived in many places- and this niche in the mountains might not be full of tourist attractions, but it is abundantly and gloriously filled with small gems that you need to slow down and look for.

The unexpected. The often harsh- but adaptable spirit of its residents is why it is so diverse and beautiful. Accepting and grateful for what it has. Does it have problems- yes. All cities do. But the edges are less sharp than other places. Its curving and winding down its own path- and that is how we like it. Brash and bold- with a lot of heart.

Its the Quiet Moments #11

Sometimes it is all about interaction, collaboration- students active and chatting. But, it can take awhile to get students to open up and actually engage with one another. Two days in to this term and I have to nudge and lure them into conversation. When they finally open up and start working together, it is a beautiful sight. 

I have gotten accustomed to hands-on, group activities and think-pair-write-share moments. It makes the class lively and buzzful- I know buzzful isn't a word- but to me it describes it perfectly. The hum of wings flapping faster than the eye can see. The colorful bobble of flight. When students are in the collective- there is a lot of honey per se.

But, I have been calming my mind lately and letting the quiet unfold too. After a honeycomb of learning both students and myself just need some mute. They begin their frontloading, they open computers and delve into their bubbles. I think they like these bubbles as much as they appreciate the buzz. So I have been recognizing the need for it.

There are so many times where the shift is needed- the lag between flight. And I am embracing it. It is not the whole class period, but it is incremental unspeaking that is important. The downtime. I appreciate the noise, the bustle, the hive mind and I make sure that part of the class is honey making. But, I have neglected the noiseless as of late. 

I sometimes feel noise means active learning. I forget that silence can mean active learning to, just mind active.

But I have come to realize that active learning does not need sound, vibrations or activity with others. What it needs is engagement and engagement can be loud and boisterous or voiceless and focused. A mixture of virtual and brick and mortar- solo and accompanied, that is what students need. It is all about listening and anticipating what they need. As of late, my students need a blending of both- alone time chat time.

A moment to embrace learning from others and a moment to go inside and contemplate. Me too I say.

Tomorrow the Same for Everyone #10

Days pass, hours zoom or drag

Eager faces trying to figure you out

Time seems to lag or cause a snag

to concentration

A threshold, a reconnection another Monday

We veer and steer onto another route

New faces, behind masks

New topics, unfolding the facts

Tomorrow

the same for everyone

24 hours, home, work, leisure, fun

We decide how to spend it

But the time, the laughter sorrow

determination, motivation

that is the same

it comes from within

dynamic or tame

We do not hibernate in cave or den

We enter and engage

We barter and we wage

For we know that the classroom is the stage

students are all the rage

and we are witnesses to greatness

It is You, It is Me- It is all Educators #8

 Who Are We

Are we sculptors- shaping and carving in a studio of our making? The chisel and mallet in hand, forcing clay to do our bidding? Are we machinists- with a specific job along a giant assembly line? Day after day, constructing our section, of the finished product. Are we activists, with our goal in sight, never pausing to see the alternative? Are we words, or are we action? Do we speak truth and operate in our own mindset? Do we practice, precision, accuracy and certainty? Do we sit in our bubble, snug and protected, safe in our outlook?

Are we thieves of creativity? Do we buckle the protective device so tight, that there is no give? No wiggle room, for the innovative to redesign and engineer a new mechanism. Are we afraid to rock the boat, afraid to let a little water pool at our feet? Do we listen and ignore? Do we use our hesitation and suspicion to knock others down, so we feel better about ourselves? Are we a person who lifts or buries? A person who collaborates or complies? Do we see the landscape of education as barren, parched- a wasteland. Or do we see a thriving labyrinth, imaginative and thriving- just in need of a little focus and nurturing?

Are we more than our mistakes- overcoming adversity- looking down the barrel of complacency and negativity? Do we notice beyond the scope of judgment? Do we embody change as a profession? Who are most educators really? There are those that have lost their way- we all became educators to make a difference. There are those who sacrifice and entice, fully submerge themselves. But, there are others who dedicate themselves but find a balance between 'educator mode' and 'personal mode.' Who are most educators, really? They are flawed and gifted, emotional and professional, engaging and committed people. They love what they do and they enthusiastically share their ideas with their students.

We Are

We are scientists, astronomers, astronauts- not looking at the stars, trillions of light years away, but at the brightness of stellar bodies within our grasp. Not a light years journey, but a moments. We are surgeons removing the doubt and fear, that plagues learning. We are not the road or path, we are the signals, signs and suggestions, that steer the vehicle. We are words of caution, beacons of hope, forewarning dangers of miscalculations with well-tried assurances, heralds of self-advocacy and self-thought. We are not sculptors, we are not art critics, we are mavens of imagination, we are museum goers, anticipating the next masterpiece, as we approach. We are not machinists, we are not, assemblers, we offer blue prints, tools, strategies and of course- blank paper, because we know with uncertainty that our cleverness is only as good as our readiness. We are the telescope- seeing beyond the aura, beyond the eclipse and noticing the potential for another 'big bang.'

We need to be more than a controller of time. More than a suppressor of certain behaviors. We need an arena for exploration, investigation, and participation. We need to use mud and form every brick. We need to stack some high, some low, leaving room for additions. We need to offer the mortar to our students, let them solidify their foundation, let them add the layers as they master each level. We need to above all else, be listeners, so we can give them the right tool for the job. Educators are givers of patience and guidance and receivers of challenges and obstacles. This is what makes a great educator. The understanding that nothing will be easy, everything comes with a price- too much boredom comes misbehavior, too much chaos causes upheaval. But, just the right amount of give and take brings engagement.

Educators

Are we perfect? Absolutely not. Are we experts? I believe an expert has mastered their craft. I want to believe I am emerging always farther from new obstacles and pushing myself beyond any limitations. Do we have a calling? Most of us do. We want to make a difference- sometimes though we lose sight of this and get in a rut of complacency and stagnancy and we need a jolt of imagination and curiosity to realign our goals. We are a vision, a vision of hope and love and joy. In every educator there is an endless landscape of twinkling stars that light our path. These sparkles are our students and if we pause, for a moment or two every day and listen, really listen, we will remember. Remember that sound of eager reluctance, purposeful distraction, meaningful momentum that we started our first day of teaching with and our students will be thankful that we do.

The Alternative Routes- Classroom Routes and Byways #6

 Interstate becomes County Road

Hallways, a certain sheen about them, like a freshly paved highway. There is a slight bump as new road merges with old. Students traverse it with a bit of trepidation, the first few weeks. This seam that you rarely notice, as you are driving, until you pass over it, becomes apparent. A quick signal that the road ahead is not, necessarily even. Personal and profession merge, one becoming clearer in the rear view.

This thump, adjustment, is worn down overtime, blending in with the concrete underneath. Speeding vehicles no longer notice the transition and sync with the grooves. These indentations have ingrained themselves in the asphalt. This corrugation becomes familiar, comfortable. A signal that our focus has aligned with our surroundings. We no longer need the GPS, we know our route. Each landmark, guiding us down the bustling highway, we call a school. The academic interstate that is our educational road map.

Interstates, freeways, tollways: whatever pavement you choose to navigate is a busy thoroughfare. Rarely empty, generally hustling with momentum and velocity. Lane changes, acceleration and traffic flow. In a constant flux of commuting and road trips. Some transporting goods, while others are simply trying to get home, after a hard days work. Gridlock may be avoided, but there is always a movement. A haulage of information that keeps the interchanges dynamic and the off-ramps, clear. A continuity like no where else.

Once exit occurs, onto county road, there is a sense of calm. There is a crispness, less exhaust fills the air. Horns are silenced. There is a lull for once. Flashing signs, guiding one to the the 4-way intersection. Street Lights swaying in the summer breeze. Tall city-scapes transition, to fields of possibility: wheat and corn rustling. The slow pace of life, tractors plowing, animals strolling, lines of mailboxes line the artery- the connection between urban and rural. The trail may narrow but the community deepens.

Farm to Market

When I lived in Texas I discovered that there were two main differences when it came to the roadways and traffic. The first was many roads are called FM with a number. FM 246 or FM 425 etc. I had lived here for a few months, before I was told that FM means farm to market. A road that linked rural farmers to the town market places. This instantly made my local area seem much more community oriented. It felt like a connection, a deep seeded history that even now, reverberates in the many small towns across the state.

The second was access roads. The long business clad avenues that parallel the major interstates like I-10. These are basically speedways. They took me awhile to get used to. If you are in the left lane, cars are exiting the interstate and if you are in the right lane they are merging into traffic, from the parking lots that contour the other side. The speed limit is 45 miles an hour and let me tell you, it looks very much like a game of 'Frogger' -cars weaving back and forth in rapid succession. It was amazing to see at first, even with my clenched fists grasping the steering wheel.

Access roads make any of the large Texas cities, feel very crowded and chaotic. This hustle and bustle feels like a bell has rung and a class change is underway. The noise is fluid, ebbing and flowing with the different small groups as they laugh and play. But as the classroom doors are closed, as commuters reach their destinations, there is an energy that remains. The intensity of concentration, the vitality of action, the endurance of city sprawl. It is entrance onto the FM roads where true learning takes place. Where growth leads to wisdom. Where the town square is the center of it all. Gazebo filled parks and mom and pop shops. This is where crowd becomes individual and student body becomes community.

New Mexico 4 Ways Across the River

The main difference between Texas and New Mexico roads are the drivers. More of them in Texas, more aggressive ones in New Mexico. You can get anywhere in Houston by taking a myriad of roads- including the I-10. But in Albuquerque you have to cross the river to get to Rio Rancho. $ routes often traffic laden. But wide and this causes a lot of lane changes and erratic behavior. Much like a classroom that might lack organization and discipline.

I have been here four nearly six months and I am still in a state of awe while on the road. Head on a swivel, defensive driving now at the crux of my commute. It creates a different feeling when I arrive at work. Less calm. So when I arrive a bit earlier- I need time to calm myself and get in teacher mode. Two different cities, two different vibes- my classrooms feel the same- but my transitions are very different. Think about what it might be like for students- parents drop off, or bus, or bicycle- it is no wonder they arrive with all sorts of energy too.

Slowing Down to a Rural Pace

Hallways become highways, classrooms town squares. Lifestyles amplify and intensify. Time seems to dwindle at an astonishing rate. We all need to exit the thoroughfare, travel the FM road and enter our own township. The quiet, idyllic locale where we call home. Where the rustic, simple, gait slows us down so we can enjoy the landscape and venues we seem to miss at our usual speed.

Where we stroll alongside a quiet, country road. Where foot traffic is the pace. Where nothing is expected and the din of city life eases and the stable, wholesome cadence of diversion filters in. Voices are lulling and tranquil. Family is around the dinner table. Electronics are off and conversations are the entree. This neighborhood is small and its residents are related. A Main Street, where the entire town loves to congregate. This is home.

If we remain in the commotion for too long, our senses are dulled. If we keep the acceleration constant, when we brake, it will feel sudden. Our tires will skid. But, if we practice our deceleration, learn to turn in to the skid, we will safely make it to the shoulder. If we keep our eye on the oil gauge and fuel level, we will be prepared for the road trip. These road trips, long weekend drives, these are what keep us healthy, energized and excited to be an educator.

We are educators because we love the journey- the different scenery we view from our vehicles. We are educators because we appreciate the panorama that a school provides: bustling hallways of vibrant faces, the community driven classrooms we inhabit, the programs we can mentor, the relationships we build. Ultimately though, we are all vehicles, travelling at different speeds, intersecting, passing and following one another in an endless labyrinth of roads, avenues and thoroughfares- and this is life. Just make sure you find those dirt roads that lead to nowhere, this is where we relax and refuel. This is where we rediscover why we are educators.

Wheels Up #5

I was looking through the photos on my phone. I went back quite a ways and found some of my students and classroom pre-Covid. Seeing their faces, mask-less and smiling brought such a deep nostalgia. But, also great sadness that masks feel very much part of the school uniform. A barrier to facial expressions and grins. My students were building with makerspace stuff in some pictures, having a puppet show in others. Pride from ear to ear.

There were pictures of us outside taking a mindful break with silly string and kickballs. It brought back such a feeling of joy and contentment. The relationships I built with those classes. It was a memory I won't soon forget. I had the same students all year long- it felt like a normal school year. Then the pictures transitioned to mask wearing- or students on Zoom waving and learning on screen.

Wheels up- its 2022 and the masks are still very much a part of the routine- at least in New Mexico. But, my pictures are still adding up. Makerspaces and mini-plays. Stations and hands-on learning. Just a veil between conversations- but conversations none-the-less. I do not plan on having no turbulence, or even having time to reach cruising altitude. I just make plans for looking out at the view and the in cabin entertainment.

It's going to get worse before it gets better I'm sure. But it will get better. We have great things happening in classrooms around the globe- we have dedicated educators- seatbelts fastened and hunkered down for the long haul. I believe in education. I believe in educators. There are naysayers. There are things about education that need fixed- but we can not discount those who are on the runways every day.

Those educators who are taking off and landing- circling the airport and taxing to the gate. For those educators deserve praise- they do not deserve to be lumped in, with the negative aspects of education. To every educator out there- wheels up- landing gear retracting- you are aloft. Thank you for joining the flight crew today and every day. Thank you for being pilot, navigator and flight attendant- you are all rock stars.

One Million #3

You hear a number like a million- 1,000,000 and it seems too huge to quite fathom. My #OneWord2022 fathom- I wondered how I could get it incorporated into my blogs for awhile and there it is. When I was growing up millionaires were few and far between and now billionaires out number those millionaires of old. It is a number we tend to hear about with finance or budgets- not people. 

In 24 hours the United States has 1,000,000 new cases of Covid-19 reported. So the number is definitely larger. But that number was so huge I thought- it can't be right. I know the holidays sparked some maybe lackadaisical protocols, but a million new cases reported? So I listened to the NPR article and went to the CDC site- both confirmed. They say it will increase now that students are back to school. Just mind numbing.

In my mind there is an end. But, it is like winning the lottery- a far fetched dream that you hold on to when the jackpot winning becomes in the triple millions or billions. Most don't even consider buying a ticket, if it is a million or less. Crazy right? When did a million dollar jackpot become a -not worth it ticket? But a million new Covid-19 cases in 24 hours? That should make us Americans quake in our boots.

Jimmy Fallon with two vaccines and a booster got it. Several members of my family- me included most likely had it- although I stayed home and didn't test. The symptoms were there- they were mild due to my coverage but- it was a horrible few days. It is creeping in almost every nook of this global community. It seems to be taking hold again- digging in deep for the winter months. Stay safe my friends. Stay healthy. 

And Just Like That.... (#1)

Looking back the year was not 365 days of blissful opportunity or even keeled circumstances. It was tumultuous- a winter freeze in Houston- bringing down our ceiling and flooding our house. It was a relentless month and a half looking for a new house in Albuquerque- many homes being bought from under us. It was saying good bye to friends in Katy ISD. But it was also, meeting new friends and starting at a new school, in a new home town.

The year began with the weight of Covid-19 and political events still haunting us a year later. A new president, a new outlook- but a heaviness that never abated. It still feels foggy and tight. There is still an uncertainty, a deep seeded fear most of us are carrying around. Weather disasters and violence, wild fires and blizzards. Climate is relentless. But so is the human spirit. As much as we get knocked down- we rise, we keep going.

2020 is a new calendar year, but for me it is not a cleanse, tabula rasa, new beginning. It is more of an awakening- to watch the dawn each morning creep in from the darkness that preceded it- is morning. To become more aware, set intentions and accept the road blocks is part of the change over. To not get frustrated and downtrodden over the unavoidable will not be my plight of this next chapter. I believe in the fathom of it all. My #OneWord2022. To unravel and make sense of things. To have to hear things and see things and analyze things before I make a decision- that is my goal.

I started this 2022 very sick in bed. Stomach flu. It was a strange few days of delirium and fever. It was sweats and fatigue. Dizziness and extreme migraine. And while I slept I had dreams of excitement about being well, but was also cursed by nightmares of heft and confinement in my haze of illness. But now, as I stir back to cognizance- I write my first 2022 blog. 

I will write 365 in a row- because the last two times I completed this task- I felt more connected, more focused, more aware. That is my intention. To find more ways to be more focused and more aware- mindful. And just like that....a year has ended and another has begun. But in my bubble, it did not start with fanfare and reverie- but sleep at the end of a horrible flu. But to be honest- New Years has never been my favorite holiday- always to much pressure to party- and I am a homebody.

I hope New Years Eve was what you needed it to be. That your year started with excitement and confetti. I hope you find your path, whatever it is. My path is education, my path is writing, my path is family. My fathom and focus is there. I do not write resolutions or goals- that sets an expectation which I do not want. I create intentions because intentions fluctuate and merge into new ones and this I appreciate and enjoy. For I have intentions that created new routes on which I now find myself.

And just like that.... blog #1 of blogs 1-365. I hope you read them all and decide to join in the blogging bubble- it is rewarding.

Most of my blogs will be about education. But some mindfulness and others balance and family life. But I hope they all resonate with you. 

Happy New Year to all.