Thankful

The holidays are always a trigger for a lot of emotions. They are the time of the year wh,en we take stock in our lives. A season where we recognize what we are thankful for. A moment of the year where we travel long distances to be with those we love. We forgive past transgressions and choose to love. We volunteer, we donate, we sacrifice. We see our larger role in the universe, we try to be the best versions of ourselves. Days become months of smiles, hugs, and good tidings. But then January rolls around and slowly these feelings fade into daily life. But they begin anew and we fade into them with a renewed spirit.

I open my eyes, stir in bed, until I smell the turkey. The smell of sage, rosemary and thyme wafting into the bedroom.This arouses me and I climb out of the sheets eager to begin preparing my traditional dressing. It could be any Thanksgiving of my childhood. The Macy's Thanksgiving Parade on the television in the living room, mom chopping celery in the kitchen. I have always had fond memories of this particular holiday. While I was growing up Thanksgiving was always a grand event, every side-dish you can imagine on the dining room table. The nice linen and china set in amazing table settings. Every last detail of decor organized by my mother who at the end of a long day of cooking was usually too tired to partake in much dinner.

As an adult, you try to create new memories for your children. A particular movie, change up the dessert, starting early with the Christmas tunes. This year current alternative rock, Community on the TV and board games. Lots of board games. To get all four of my boys in the same room, interested and engaged in a common event is nearly impossible but the holidays bring out the best in us, most of the time anyway. The best Thanksgiving episode this year was This is Us 'Pilgrim Rick" even my 18 year old was quiet and reflective during this show. Family together, arguing but together. Realizing that families do bicker and fight, say things they don't mean, upset us, frustrate us, make us cry, but they are family and we forgive and love them despite all of their shortcomings.

This was my Thanksgiving. A day of four boys bonding over board games but only for awhile before one upset the other and my youngest lost a game and ran out in a fit. But, rather than getting upset, I took a deep breath, and smiled for a perfect dinner, calm demeanor, smiling children was never in the cards for this family. That is what makes us, us. The arguing, stomping away, spilling the milk, messy kitchen, frustration but eventual rejoining over pumpkin pie and hot cocoa is this family. We have a big group all trying to be the loudest, center of attention, well trying to be heard over the din of six voices. This odd ball, loud, crazy, irritating, but loving family is what I am truly thankful for.

After the dishes are finally done, kitchen clean, nerves calm we sit down to one last moment of family time. We each say why we are thankful, which for teenagers can be quite challenging to put into words. But they do. Family, health, opportunity, knowledge, acceptance, forgiveness, understanding, love. We are thankful for challenging each other and forcing us to take a long look at ourselves. To set goals and to help each other reach them. To listen even in anger, to respond not react, and to never go to bed angry. Unconditional love and family now that is the ultimate prize to be thankful for.