The Emotional Side of Teaching: How Can We Process the Stress?

I can be very emotional as a person. In general though I put on a brave face when it comes to pain, discomfort or stress. I internalize the heartache, uncertainty, and doubt. I tend to withdraw into my classroom to process the days events, feeling beat up and isolated at times from those around me. This in turn causes anxiety and stress. I am an outside the box thinker, I take risks, I try new things, I stir the pot. This in turn causes resentment and judgment from others. This I internalize and cry alone about rather than facing it head on. This is the case I believe for most of us. Enduring the emotional roller-coaster that is education.

Confrontation is what locks the door behind me keeping me at arms length from other teachers. I offer my suggestions, often louder than other to be heard, to be met with resentment and judgment. How can we balance this need to belong and be accepted with our unwavering need to do what is best for our students? I know that there will be naysayers I prepare myself for them. But, the negativity gets layered and layered and then you just break down. I am coming up with strategies to compensate and keep focused. But I still get weakened and discouraged by those who do not understand my teaching style. This causes me to doubt myself and that saddens me because I never want to lose sight of my goal as a teacher: Students come first.

This blog post is not one about a solution but one of exploration because I myself am weak in this department. I have many strengths but also many flaws this being one of the most pronounced. I deeply care about what other people think of me. I try to please everyone for fear they will not be happy with me. I am trying to train myself to let go and not internalize what I can not control. Then I revert and believe I can somehow control others impressions of me. But, then I accept the fact that I can't. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you put out into the world, positive vibes or negativity, it does not matter, someone will not like you for it. Someone will judge you. Someone will make you feel bad about it.

Teaching is a profession where all eyes are on you, literally. Your personality, organization, teaching skills, behavior management, lesson plan writing all come under scrutiny. When you are successful the eyes may venture off in another direction temporarily, but eventually you are the focus again. So we are always on our toes, planning and learning, looking at data, tweaking plans, after-school clubs, making copies, building relationships, all of it swarming around us. Until we all are so exhausted we shut down, get sick, or become more withdrawn from our colleagues. This I do not want to happen. I want a strong team that supports one another, a sturdy foundation to bounce ideas off of and collaborate with. But, I also need to be an individual, unique in my methods and know that someone believes in me.

How can we process stress as teachers? Some have evening cocktails, I do not drink. Some go on great vacations, I can not afford a vacation. Some have friends at school that they hang out with and have a relationship with, I am so busy I am honestly alone. That makes me sad. No one visits my room to say hello. I am basically one cog in a very large wheel. This stresses me. But I meditate and this helps me focus. I honestly am alright being alone, I have a bustling house with four loud boys, so quiet isolation is actually welcomed. It is the naysayers that stresses me out. As teachers we can't just say what we think, well we can but to some unwanted consequences so we don't most of the time, unless it is for the benefit of our students. If it personal we tend to shy away from it. Vicious circle.

The best strategy I believe is to keep the eye on the prize, student success, stay in line with ones values and always put out positive vibes even when it may cause others to judge. Lead from the bottom because when students appreciate you and share their learning experience, parents are listening and then the administration is hearing about it and that is what matters. The positive school culture you are encouraging and the lives you are impacting with active, engaging lessons. With every profession their comes an emotional side. But if we do not seek acceptance but offer our knowledge, face our doubts by taking risks for the improvement of learning experiences, and find outlets for stress and anxiety we can balance the frustration with the daily recognition that what we do truly matters.