Friday, February 28, 2020

Then I Wouldn't Be Me (59)

I could have gone to mindful schools, where students refrained from bullying and every teacher was engaged and friendly. I could have had friends. I could have NOT been born with Dyslexia and struggled in school, until I entered high school. I could have been an optimistic, outgoing, ordinary child. But, if any of these things were true, I wouldn't be me. I am me, not in spite of these things, but because of these things.

I could have chosen to succumb to my fate of having a learning disability. I could have fought back against the bullies. I could have tried to be the 'teacher's pet.' I could have acted like my peers: read popular books, played popular games. I could have grown up in one school- yet I attended 5 different elementary schools. I could have had to change high schools, yet I attended the same for all four years. If any of this had been different, I wouldn't be me.

I am me because of my set backs. I am me because of my triumphs. My childhood was relatively happy, outside of school. A normal nuclear family. Loving parents, grand parents and sibling. I had what I needed, I did not go without. I was blessed. This is a characteristic of my youth that shaped me a lot. As did my in school life: both tumultuous and depressing. But- together they gave my life substance. Without that I would not be me.

I have a bit of anxiety, yet I cope well with setbacks. I doubt myself, over judge myself- yet I appreciate my quirks and oddities and, in fact amplify them, to accentuate my uniqueness. I love my individuality. I may be misunderstood at times, but I stay true to myself. If I stopped doing that, I wouldn't be me.

And me...is pretty cool.

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