sine qua non (112)

relationships and frenemies

We have an arrangement with reality. We believe in it and it will provide us some kind of foundation on which we structure our lives. It's not permanent or even stable sometimes- expanding and collapsing on itself, based on our perspective, of course.

We catch glimpses of what if's and cast blame. We catch our shirt sleeves on alternatives, snag our positions on ulterior motives. As each article of clothing, each layer of our consciousness and capacity, tear and unravel- reality laughs a little.

But we have a contingency plan- we have built up such a strong fortress, of what we believe to be true- that even the sharpest of blades can't penetrate, the highest of projectiles flung in our direction fall short- thus we endure. Most of us anyway. We all have our breaking points.

We demand. Reality demands. We keep post scripts, reality pastes codicils on every surface- so we are reminded, frequently who is in charge. We have essential markers, sign posts we use to quantify our sanity. We all have our exceptions to the rule though. We all let things slip past our barrier.

But even with the slightest of omissions there are no exemptions. We must maintain a level of normalcy even in times of utmost uncertainty. If we don't, reality begins to wobble on its base. We have to keep the turret standing tall, our personal crest waving in the breeze of isolation. Reality is very picky.

characteristics and expectations

Reality has fine points, that it uses to measure itself. It modifies to allow for updates. But here is the kicker, it is not universal or expansive. It is personal and unique. Therefore, it, like matter itself, is forever changing form. We must succumb to its requirements: recognition, responsibility, result and the absence of blame.

Necessity overcomes. Need prevails. We postulate both. We take into account the law of probabilities. We adjust. If there is a precondition, we monitor. We have prerequisites for social interaction. We have provisions within our domiciles. We keep balanced and moving forward because of a proviso, a stipulation that health takes precedence.

Reality has qualifications- mental health, acknowledgement of anxiety and depression. Reality has requirements- honesty and humility. We have to know when to ask for help. We have to know when to unplug, escape, sleep and just re-energize. If we don't reality plays tricks on us. It's feisty and it likes to have fun.

The requisite most of us are following is distance. That is the reservation in our planners. That is the responsibility we have accepted. That is the recognition of our place in the the larger picture. As a result- blame, suspicion, guilt, trepidation had wandered into our vehicles. They are turning the knobs on the radio, rolling up and down the windows- they are in fact reality's distractions.

one rule to rule them all

There is one rule of reality. It wants to be noticed. It wants a friendly game of chess. It likes Roshambo, but it prefers strategy. A competition of wills. Here is the small print- the ones at the bottom of a twelve page document, we skim to the bottom of, so we can just click- I agree, to the terms of the contract.

There are strings attached. There are terms, and a few are up for negotiation. There are stipulations- but if we sign without reading, we are bound to the terms and there is little room for arbitration. These terms are- remember we are all human. Every life matters. Every voice, opinion (as much as we disagree) matters. The trolls and awful people, matter. We don't like them, but they matter.

Reality fools us into thinking that because someone is hateful and cruel, that they no longer matter. But, they do. Reality is different for every one of us. Our experiences, childhoods, choices, they have shaped our reality. Some of us harbor pain, fear, deep seeded unhappiness. But most of us also are anchored in kindness and love. Generosity and appreciation.

The reality is, if we do not listen to one another- forgive and refuse to place blame and ridicule, we will be stuck here. If we do not look for productive outlets for our frustration, but rather put hate and negativity out into the world, we will be stuck here. If we try to cope with our anxiety and depression alone, we will be stuck here.

acceptance and reflection

Honesty and humility. Recognition, responsibility, acceptance of results, refusal of placing blame. These requirements are necessary if we are to move past this. Sine qua non- an indispensable, an essential action, condition or ingredient. For without there is nothing. Our reality will blur into our rage and ignorance.

Be present, listen to reality- she is forgiving but also vengeful, if you do not heed her repeated warnings. Be human. Be kind. Be responsible. The result might be out of your control- but your reaction to it- that is all on you. Reality is waiting, she is speaking to you right now. You had better listen.