September 11th: A Recent Memory for Me but for Students it is History.

The day began as any other, two crying toddlers, diaper changes, and breakfast served in high chairs in front of "Bob the Builder." I was making their sippy-cups of juice when a breaking news story broke into the programming "A small passenger plane has just crashed in to the north tower of the World Trade Center in New York." There was a smokey image of the tower displayed on the screen. My sons began to whine at the loss of Bob the Builder so I changed the channel only to find the same image every time. I popped in a Thomas the Train video to sooth them.

I turned the television on in the kitchen. It seemed so calm at the time. "A fluke, pilot error, this is not supposed to happen, the reporters were saying."At first it was reported as a small aircraft, then the second plane hit. It was surreal because the camera's were rolling and a reporter was relaying information and a shadow of an aircraft made its way across the screen. The reporter fell silent and then screaming and bystanders frozen and pointing. At that moment, the world changed. At that moment everyone knew this was deliberate and on going.

I was not in New York. But, the fear was immediate and all encompassing. America slowed down and became quiet. News began to trickle in United Airlines, American Airlines, Pentagon, Pennsylvania, terrorists. Then collapsing girders, crumbling steel and glass and smoke and blackness and horror and then the realization people were still in the buildings. People were on the streets. Firefighters and police officers and first responders, gone, so much sadness. All I could do was watch and cry and embrace my children.

It is fifteen years today. The memory is fresh and still aches. I did not lose anyone close to me but as an American I lost the childhood notion that America will always be safe. Since then, gun violence, racial tensions, fervent political views have all become routine in the daily news cycle. Innocence and naivety has vanished. Fear mongering has taken hold. But rather than blame and hate we need to embrace and understand. As a nation we need to unite against a common enemy, not a religion or a culture or a philosophy but fear, lack of acceptance and immorality.

There will always be negativity, disgust and hate. There will always be violence. But there will also always be love, respect and inclusion. My goal is to see the best in people not the worst. To listen not respond. To embrace positivity and deflect negativity. To be me no matter what.