We all need to vent. Whether it is silently, screaming from frustration, or letting loose to a friend about something that has upset us. Everyone has ups and downs throughout the day. Everyone needs a way to relinquish their negative energy and replenish their positive. The euphemism for complaining is “venting,” and venting feels good. Of course, venting isn’t always a good thing if it does not end quickly and bring about a catharsis or calming effect. Venting is about acknowledging when something is bothering us. This is natural and necessary. When we vent, we give ourselves permission to be real in the moment and express our feelings, thoughts, and views about something stressful that happened. It’s healthy to vent for a short period of time.
Dwelling is about telling the story over and over. Whenever someone asks us how we are we talk about the stressful thing that happened. No matter how many other positive things that have occurred we focus on the negative. As we talk about the negative event, stress hormones start pumping through the body, our mood sours, and our energy gets depleted. It can also be a downer for others. The constant complainer is one many avoid.No one wants to listen to a constant reminder that someone else is not happy. Because we want to be happy. Mindfulness helps us be in the present moment rather than ruminate about the past. It helps us consciously choose what to focus on and what attitudes we bring into our conversations. Mindfulness makes it possible to choose what is life affirming in the moment. It helps the vent become purposeful, personal, and not perpetuating. A quick burst of release and a new outlook should present itself.
A recent study in the Journal of Social Psychology looked at a link between happiness, mindfulness and complaining. In the study, individuals listed their pet peeves, then completed a survey measuring their happiness, mindfulness and contentment. The study found that complaining was negatively linked to well-being and mindfulness, but the participants who often vented with a solution in mind overall, were happier then those that complained for no reason. Catharsis and calm does not come if can not see the light at the end of the tunnel. If we are not aware of our internal happiness scale this can be difficult. The most effective type of venting or complaining occurs when the individual knows what they want the outcome to be and understands what is needed for it to happen, just aren't happy with it.
There has also been research to support that venting for the sake of venting is not all that bad. A University of Texas study, found that venting through reflective writing a useful way to overcome a traumatic or highly stressful situation. Writing down our daily stresses and practicing awareness and resolution methods can both help us relieve stress and focus our thoughts on something positive. Being frustrated is a common occurrence with a lot of people. Bottling them up is not a good thing. Complaining mindfully, having release but not dwelling can ease our anxieties and get us re-centered for our next intention. In other words, it is healthy to let go of stress in a mindful way. Not to send the anger at someone else but to just release it in order to shift your perspective. Venting can be very beneficial it is dwelling that often transforms into depression and deep seeded anger.
The end of the school year often brings with it a level of frustration that causes me to reflect a lot. I find it challenging sometimes to collaborate and share ideas because so many people are focused on test scores they can't see an alternative way to get students engaged. I go home often irritated and defeated. This is the time that I vent to a friend and my husband. Then I catch myself dwelling and have to shift my thinking quickly before it consumes me. I mindful journal, I meditate, I focus on the positive aspects of teaching, my students. I innovate and leap and ignore the disapproving eyes of my team-mates. But I know I need to work on being more patient with them. My main intention for the rest of the year. Compromise, within reason. Try to unify a dysfunctional group, see the positive, ignore the negative. I will vent not dwell. I will smile not frown. I will make eye contact and try to keep spirits up, be mindful, other teachers are feeling frustrated too. We have another quarter and a lot needs to get done and the only way to accomplish it is to cooperate mindfully and respectfully even if others are not.
The end of the school year often brings with it a level of frustration that causes me to reflect a lot. I find it challenging sometimes to collaborate and share ideas because so many people are focused on test scores they can't see an alternative way to get students engaged. I go home often irritated and defeated. This is the time that I vent to a friend and my husband. Then I catch myself dwelling and have to shift my thinking quickly before it consumes me. I mindful journal, I meditate, I focus on the positive aspects of teaching, my students. I innovate and leap and ignore the disapproving eyes of my team-mates. But I know I need to work on being more patient with them. My main intention for the rest of the year. Compromise, within reason. Try to unify a dysfunctional group, see the positive, ignore the negative. I will vent not dwell. I will smile not frown. I will make eye contact and try to keep spirits up, be mindful, other teachers are feeling frustrated too. We have another quarter and a lot needs to get done and the only way to accomplish it is to cooperate mindfully and respectfully even if others are not.
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