Not all of our goals we set for ourselves are feasible, achievable, attainable. We have lofty goals or expectations that we place on ourselves and when we do not meet them, or they do not come to fruition of no fault of our own it can set us off course. We lose our confidence, dig a hole and climb in, sometimes calm and present in the moment knowing the dirt will slowly pile in behind us. For me the hole is quiet and isolated, often what I need in times of discouragement and frustration. It is not a dark place of despair but rather a hidden place where I can hide and get my thoughts together. Reflection is the shovel by which I escape, my only way out. I am in a hole, this is me digging out.
A full plate, all my energy laser focused at Quiz Bowl. Living and breathing it. Every day after school until 5:00, then evening practices- Nationals in one week. I find time to blog and set up my Twitter Chat hoping people will read it, interact in the chat. I bring my children to practices, try to eat dinner with them every night, have our 2-highs and 2-lows conversations. It helps keep me grounded, not in the hole. But last night I allowed the hole to get to deep and fell in.
I have set my intentions for the end of the year, stay focused on my students, stay positive, (which I am with my students) just not in my head sometimes. i need to let the little things go. I internalize and personalize and I need to externalize and accept that things happen and I have absolutely no control over most things.
Just "Keep Moving Forward" just keep listening to my mantra song "Across the Universe" by The Beatles. "Jai Guru Deva, nothings going to change my world"
Deep breath.....just let it go and focus on the positive. Highlight the positives. This is my goal for the end of the day- smile and embrace every positive moment until I have filled in the hole, without me in it.
Reflection- check
Two ears one mouth- listen and receive. Just breath.
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