The Quiet Has A Sound Unto Itself

Why meditation can be so difficult for many is the fact that they try to relax in a dead silent room. Darkened and calm. But the quiet has a sound unto itself. A deep, ominous hum. So when one is trying to relax, the din of silence wraps around you like a stifling blanket, ever reminding you that noise is absent. White noise or ocean sounds can help remove the clutter of quiet reflection. I find that having music playing very low in the background is what I need. Not lyrics just instrumental to calm my brain into a lull and then and only then can I truly remove myself from distractions and meditate.

Mindful meditation can also be directed. Calm and Head Space are great apps for this. I often use them in times of stress and anxiety because I am too flustered to be able to sit still and let me mind wander. In those cases I cant seem to get "outside" my mind and let it unpack my doubt and uncertainty- in fact it exasperates it because then I open up to a flood of memories that make it worse not better. So listening to a guided session is a great way to meditate, listening to the calm, melodic voice steering you to a place of acceptance and realization. I find I need this a lot more at the end of a very hectic school year. With a son graduating and going off to college, another entering high school and one his junior year and lastly one entering 2nd grade my life is very busy, even my summers are chalk full. I need a calm, relaxing voice to help keep me centered.

Reading in silence can be refreshing at times, just the whirling of my fan in the background. But other times I need the soft music to help create a sense of relevance. I read a lot of education books, magazines, and graphic novels. I also color a lot, colored pencils, mandalas and adult coloring books with complicated designs. It calms me. I try to stay mindful at all times but by the end of the week I have built up so much stress it is hard to find the right way to release it. So I have turned to daily meditation, I want to make sure I release any doubt and anxiety every day. When I sit down to meditate it is amazing what comes to the surface- things I did not realize even bothered me are put forward for me to accept and release. It is odd how we hold on to certain feelings and do not recognize others. That is why mindful meditation is so important. Why reflection is truly integral to a healthy mindset.

Two weeks left of school and the uncertainty of how I will react to saying goodbye to these amazing students, how I will react to leaving my oldest son in Albuquerque for college and how much our lives will be different with him so far away. This is all hitting me slowly now and I need to stay aware of these emotions and how they are affecting me daily. I need to stay focused and centered in order for this transition to go smoothly. The whirling of my fan is all I hear in a quiet house as I reflect now. Next I am going to delve into Calm and do my daily meditation- all about happiness and gratitude. Dwelling is unhealthy and now that I have gotten it all out, I can face my fears head on. All I can do is accept and conquer. Smile, laugh and play with my students and children for they are my inspiration. The quiet has a sound unto itself, it depends on your spirit of mind what exactly that sound will be- sunshine or thunderstorms.