Feeling the Disconnect

This morning the first of many emails arrived regarding the first week of teachers returning to school. Beginning a fresh, anticipated, mindful new year. Lots of meetings and planning and time to set up and get organized. A district wide convocation and many subject area sessions. A full schedule for sure. The rosters for our classes are visible in the system and it is nice to be able to see the names of all the students we will be meeting in a few weeks. I smiled as I read over my different class rosters, many of my students were in Quiz Bowl last year or tried out in June for the team so there are many familiar names. There are also many familiar surnames, I know I have taught their siblings in the past. Its always fun to see the similarities and differences among siblings. Not to compare or even share my findings with my students but for me personally to see these beautiful commonalities.

The house is quiet and I am in full-on teacher mode today. Drawing sketches of my classroom ideas, hoping my students agree, as I want the layout to be theirs. Designing my first framework for the EDISON board, cutting the last of the rugs for the floor (small and personal, comfy spaces for flexible seating). Teachers return August 7th so a few more weeks but I also have to travel home and get resettled after a month, get my children ready for school. The hardest for me is to leave my newly graduated son behind to live here with my daughter. I know he will be safe and grow as intended, but it feels sad to break up the family core we have had for so many years. Now we are down to five in the nuclear home base. My two eldest will be here in Albuquerque. At home two still in high school (freshman and junior) and one in elementary school (2nd). Lots to adjust to before we embark on the 2017-2018 school year.

My intentions for today- not to cry. To focus and see the big picture. Only see what I can control and simply enjoy this time with family. There is a lot to do, but I feel no urgency, yet. Just looking for now. When I return home it will all sync and I will jump in with both feet. For now just dipping some toes in and keeping grounded footing in the rest of my summer.